


Urban Cowgirls

by Rosie2009



Series: Descendants Fanfiction [41]
Category: Descendants (Disney Movies)
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-12
Updated: 2020-02-23
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:33:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 72,779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22231855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rosie2009/pseuds/Rosie2009
Summary: The girls have gotten fed up with the boys' constant teasing, and they make a bet: the boys pick a place, and the girls will stay there for several days, doing just fine and not chickening out, which will prove their strong independence. Naturally, the place was not what the girls bargained for. Full of friendship feels among the girls with Bal, Huma, Jaudrey, and Jarlos thrown in.
Relationships: Audrey & Evie (Disney: Descendants), Audrey & Uma (Disney), Audrey/Jay (Disney: Descendants), Ben/Mal (Disney: Descendants), Evie & Mal & Audrey & Uma & Jane, Evie & Mal (Disney), Evie & Uma (Disney), Harry Hook/Uma, Jane/Carlos de Vil, Mal & Uma (Disney)
Series: Descendants Fanfiction [41]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1252532
Comments: 23
Kudos: 52





	1. The Bet

“We have an announcement to make,” Mal proclaimed, Uma and Evie standing on either side of her with Audrey and Jane along with them.

All of the boys just raised an eyebrow, chuckled, and ultimately didn’t take them seriously.

“Okay… Sure. Go for it,” Jay cued them, moving his hand in a gesture for them to continue. Mal looked between her two best friends, unimpressed, but nudged Evie to start.

The boys had been relentless in their teasing ever since the five girls had ended up in jail from their first road trip together, and it had only gotten worse since the entire incident at Halloween and when Evie had been accidentally turned into a dog at her own hands. The five girls had taken the harassing for a while, but they were starting to get sick of it, and decided that they were going to take matters into their own hands.

They had texted the boys and insisted that they meet them in Ben’s office, telling the boys that it was of the utmost importance.

Evie stepped up, her hands folded neatly as she began her piece much too formally and perfectly.

“So, after all of the incessant jeering that we have received as a result of various events in the past-”

“Here, look, I’ll translate it for you,” Uma interrupted.

“After you heathens done picked on us after we ended up in jail on our big trip and after we five girls started the whole thing about dying on Halloween and after Evie came back from turning into a dog, we’ve done some thinking and have agreed that we ain’t taking your crap anymore about it,” Uma proclaimed to Gil, Harry Ben, Jay, and Carlos.

“That was elegant,” Evie offhandedly commented, and Uma just grinned at her sarcastically.

“Why, thank you, dearie,” Uma replied with a fake curtsy.

The latter four boys all shared a mirthful glance but didn’t say anything as they just smirked knowingly. Gil was the only one that wasn’t grinning smugly, and they figured that he likely didn’t really understand too much of what was going on. He never really kept his mind on current matters. The only reason that he was there was because he had made some comments in his dumb way that had sent the wrong messages to the five girls.

“So, what we’re proposing here is a bet. A bet so good that you guys could never deny it in a million years,” Mal told the four boys gathered before them, and Ben sobered, trying to look more sophisticated and less mirthful about all of the girls’ previous adventures as well as their entire proposition in the first place.

“Go for it,” Ben encouraged.

“Yes. We bet that we can last at least three whole days at any place of your choosing, living it rough and nasty without anything bad happening to us or without us wimping out,” Audrey declared, and the other four girls nodded in agreeance.

Jay couldn’t help but laugh at the group of girls, and the other boys followed along, albeit less enthusiastically than Jay. Of course, Jay was mostly cracking up because those words had come from his very perfectionist, very neat, and very proper girlfriend’s mouth.

“Audrey, babe, I love you, and you know I believe in you in everything you do, but are you sure that you really know what you’re signing up for?” Jay asked, not condescendingly but rather a little bit concernedly.

“Of course I know. I’m not an idiot, Jay,” Audrey proclaimed as she grew more irritated, and Jay held up his hands in a placating gesture.

“Yeah, I’m with Jay on this one. Jane, do you really want to go with them on this? Between Harry, Jay, and Gil with his yes-man business, you guys are kinda biting off more than you can chew,” Carlos pointed out, and Jane nodded somewhat indecisively.

“Seriously, though, is nobody bringin’ attention to the fact that they said three days?” Harry questioned with a mischievous grin, gesturing at the girls with his hook-covered hand. He looked Uma up and down appreciatively before shrugging as he looked at the other guys.

“I think that’s chickenin’ out,” Harry acknowledged, and Uma shot him a threatening stare. He felt her eyes on him and as soon as he met them, he immediately shrunk beneath her gaze and shut his mouth quickly.

“Well, you just don’t know, Harry. I up the stakes. We can last at least four days!” Evie announced haughtily, thinking that she was helping, and Mal elbowed her in an attempt to keep her from going too far. They wanted just enough days to make up for the humiliation they had suffered, but they didn’t want to go overboard with it. Evie offered her an apologetic smile as she hung her head slightly.

“Heh, heh, that still sounds too little, right, Harry? Right?” Gil prodded, trying to be helpful to Harry’s side of the situation, but he quickly gulped when he realized that Uma was now glaring at him.

“Alright, you doubting boys!” Audrey proclaimed, growing more and more angry by the moment after her interpretation of doubt from Jay. “We can last at least five days, and that’s final!”

Uma and Mal shared a glance, knowing that Audrey had got their feet stuck in it further than they had originally aimed while Audrey didn’t even look worried. Of course, that likely would change when she calmed down and realized just how dumb she was for agreeing to such things.

“Well, I say it’s a deal,” Jay agreed after a moment of looking at his girlfriend, knowing that despite the fact that she might regret it later, she would never admit defeat. It was one of the many things that he admired about her.

Ben nodded easily, and Harry as well as Gil agreed without hesitation. However, Carlos raised his hand in an attempt to bring them to a pause.

“Woah, woah, woah. What do we boys get out of it?” Carlos questioned curiously, and the girls smiled at one another determinedly before looking at the guys.

“Well, if you guys are right about us in that we cannot effectively take care of ourselves without you, then we will never complain again about you guys making fun of our misadventures, and we will allow you to do so without any sort of protest,” Evie explained calmly and sweetly in her usual patient manner that was so characteristic of her.

“Hey, once again, sounds like a deal to me!” Jay called, high-fiving Gil quickly with a big grin, but then Uma stepped up, a deceivingly innocent look on her face as she eyed them.

“Don’t you want to know what we get if we win?” Uma questioned angelically, and Harry nodded emphatically, knowing that trick of Uma’s well.

“Ye certainly _wanna_ know what they get if they win. That right there is the kiss o’ death, I tell ye!” Harry informed the boys, pointing at his captain.

“Well, what do you get?” Ben asked the group, an uncertain glance cast in Harry’s direction.

“We get the satisfaction of you guys never picking on us ever again about jail, near-death experience, or the dog thing. Oh, and we also get one more, itty, bitty little thing,” Audrey informed them, a wicked glint in her eye that was reminiscent of the Queen of Mean. Ben instinctively gulped, well remembering her words to him during that fiasco.

“We get to decide where you boys are going to have to go and stay for a few days,” Mal told them, an evil grin on her face as she looked at them.

The guys sobered immediately upon realizing that the stakes had went up significantly on this bet. However, after a moment of calculated glances and quiet considering, Jay nodded slowly.

“Okay. But there’s some conditions we’d like to add first,” Jay informed the girls, and Audrey crossed her arms, jutting a hip out as she eyed her boyfriend.

“First, I deem that you girls should call one of us every night and show proof that you’re still at the location, and not in some kind of luxury hotel,” Jay declared, and all the other boys agreed.

“Fair enough,” Mal replied to him easily, cool determination emanating off of her in waves, and Evie smiled at her confidently.

“Also, send us a picture in the morning and the afternoon so that we know for sure that you stayed all day,” Carlos added to Jay’s proclamation.

“Do you really have so little faith in us?” Audrey asked with an unimpressed huff, and Harry spoke up.

“Aye, we don’t have faith in those two,” Harry responded, gesturing at Uma and Mal. They couldn’t help but grin wickedly at Harry, enjoying his over distrustful outlook on them.

“But the photos have to have all five of you in them,” Jay finished Carlos’ statement before they could get too off topic. Harry, Gil, Carlos, and Ben nodded.

“If that’s all, we’ll leave you boys to whatever you were doing earlier,” Evie spoke formally, and when the boys all seemed to agree, the girl turned and started toward the door.

Mal was completely confident that they had this in the bag. After all, the boys probably wouldn’t think of anything for at least a week or more. The five girls would have it easy, and they’d be perfectly prepared for whatever the guys had thought of for them.

“Well, actually, I think I’ve already thought of a place for you to go,” Ben suddenly piped up, and the girls turned back to face them with an eyebrow raise.

“I know of a farm out west owned by a really nice elderly couple. They’re the main supplier of milk and beef for Auradon, but they also have their own personal farm with horses, a few non-commercial cows, chickens, the whole farm setup,” Ben explained, and the other four guys seemed intrigued by the proposition.

“It would be an excellent place for you guys to do this bet. What do you think?” Ben questioned as he looked at his comrades.

“Sounds good to me,” Jay informed him shortly.

“It’s better than anything I thought of,” Carlos replied.

“Good and torturous,” Harry responded with a much too satisfied grin. Evie and Mal shared a glance, not expecting the boys to think of something so quickly.

However, Mal was never one to back down from a challenge, despite how soon and unexpected it was.

“Well, I guess we’ll be getting packed,” Mal informed them boldly, and Evie as well as Jane looked at her with slight uncertainty. Uma and Audrey nodded resolutely, eagerly backing Mal up with their complete confidence.

And so, there they went again on a trip of which they had no idea what was to come.


	2. Taking Off and the Painful Playlist

“Evie, how did you even get enough time to do this?” Mal questioned as she inspected the sparkling chaps peppered in green rhinestones that were currently adorning her legs. Evie just stood there proudly and half-crazed looking, already decked out in her glimmering blue cowgirl hat, blue suede cropped fringed jacket, white button-up shirt, and blue chaps with sparkling gold rhinestones. Mal figured her half-crazed expression could likely be attributed to the lack of sleep that she had to have suffered as a direct result of these outfits that had to have taken forever to make.

“I started it just as soon as we parted ways to pack for the trip yesterday,” Evie informed her, a giant grin on her face as she looked at her best friend.

“So… is anybody else’s leather pants riding up on them?” Uma asked, wiggling her legs in an attempt to loosen things up.

“No, because they all were tailored to everyone’s individual measurements,” Evie informed her as they stood there in Evie’s room at the castle, waiting for Jane to decide to put her outfit on. They were supposed to leave in a few minutes, and they had already put their luggage in Evie’s Jeep.

“Well, these hips don’t lie,” Uma informed her shortly, clicking her tongue as she took in the situation.

“Maybe it’s just that your butt’s gotten bigger since she last measured you,” Audrey suggested, leaping at the opportunity to pick on Uma. Honestly, Mal didn’t blame her in the least. Uma was absolutely relentless to Audrey, so it was perfectly understandable that Audrey would do anything she could to get back at her.

Uma just raised an eyebrow, unimpressed with the other girl, but didn’t say anything as she tried to straighten her pants.

“Personally, I think these outfits are absolutely to die for,” Audrey emphasized as she looked at herself in the mirror, positioning her cowgirl hat with a purse of her lips.

Audrey and Evie were practically the only people in the room that were comfortable in this level of fanciness and uncomfortableness. Mal was just thankful that it wasn’t going to take more than a day to get to the farm. However, she was thinking very seriously about how she was going to convince Evie that they shouldn’t wear these for the rest of the week.

“Jane, honey, are you coming out?” Audrey yelled, angling her head back slightly as she unashamedly gazed into the mirror at her visage.

“I don’t want to,” Jane proclaimed from Evie’s large walk-in closet.

“It can’t be that bad. Come on! We gotta go,” Uma informed Jane as she pulled at the top of her pants in an attempt to expand them a little bit. Evie’s eyes narrowed as she spotted Uma fiddling with the pants she made and possibly pulling them out of shape.

“Uma, stop stretching the pants. They’re meant to be tight. It’s stylish,” Evie informed Uma in a scold, slapping the pirate’s hands away from the sea-foam green pants.

“That explains it,” Uma acknowledged, and finally let go of them begrudgingly.

Jane finally came out of the room, and Evie smiled sweetly as she saw her.

“You look gorgeous,” Evie complimented. Jane just smiled back at her, her confidence growing. They all just stood there for a little bit, stuck in the moment, until Evie all of a sudden jumped into action.

“Now, let’s go, go, go!” Evie pushed them, and Mal just managed to grab her purse and phone before they were all heading out the door in a herd.

They rushed through the halls, or at least as fast as they could rush with the ridiculous pants they were wearing. Ultimately, Audrey and Evie were leading the pack because of their being used to the additional tightness.

Before long, they were all outside, and heading down the stairs.

The boys were already out there, and everyone swiftly went through their goodbyes, knowing they had to beat traffic.

“I love you guys,” Evie openly expressed as she hugged Jay and Carlos tightly, Mal wrapping her arms around them, too.

“We love you, too. And good luck,” Carlos wished to them, and they pulled away with a smile, Evie heading to the Jeep swiftly.

“You guys are going to be the ones wishing for luck,” Mal informed them cockily, and she moved over to Ben, grabbing his cheeks in her hands and pulling him down to her level before locking lips with him swiftly.

“Get ready to eat our dust,” Mal told him a bit breathlessly, and he grinned, squeezing her waist before letting her head for the car.

“Love you, too!”

Audrey haughtily stared at Jay for a moment, and he rolled his eyes and smirked.

“So…”

“So?”

“There’s still time to chicken out,” Jay informed her wickedly, and she narrowed her eyes as she glared at him. He looked at her and pinpointed the exact moment that he thought she was going to start fussing before grabbing her by the waist firmly and peppering her face with kisses playfully.

Instead of going into an argument, she instead went into a laughing fit, trying to push away until he muffled her protests with a firm kiss. Audrey immediately wrapped her fingers into his hair, giving it her all despite being miffed about the events of the previous day where he had made fun of her dedication. She then pulled away from him quickly, coming back to her senses, and she smacked him on the chest firmly. He just laughed at her, and let her head to the Jeep, keeping his eyes on her form as she headed for the vehicle.

On the other hand, Carlos and Jane were much more conservative than Jay and Audrey, and they hugged for a few minutes and kissed each other on the cheek.

“Are you sure you can handle this, Jane?” Carlos questioned somewhat worriedly. Jane put her hands on her hips, trying to conjure the sass that she had seen from Audrey and Mal.

“Bibbidi Bobbidi, you know it,” Jane replied, and Carlos just laughed, shaking his head as she offered an awkward smile. She waved slightly as she got into the car next to Audrey.

Uma took hold of Harry’s fluffy necktie and yanked him into her, kissing him passionately before pulling away much too quickly. He just stood there in a daze as Uma patted Gil on the shoulder.

“Be good for Harry, okay? And make sure you keep him reminded that us girl’s are going to whoop all of y’all’s butts,” Gil nodded happily, and Uma returned it with one of her own. Harry snapped out of his stupor as he gaped at Uma in disbelief. She just shot him a confident little smirk as she stalked off toward the Jeep.

Jane had already gotten in on the right side, Audrey was in the middle, and Uma’s seat was waiting for her on the left of Audrey.

Uma stepped inside the car, plopping down next to the pink princess as she took off her cowgirl hat so it could rest in her lap. Everyone buckled up quickly, and Mal rolled down her window so she could rest her arm on the door carefully.

“Hey, remember, today and the day you spend coming home doesn’t count as part of the five days!” Jay called to them, and Mal threw him a thumbs-up as they started down the driveway.

“Be safe!” Ben yelled.

“Don’t get into the pig pen at night!” Carlos cried.

“Actually, do get in! It’ll be a hoot!” Harry added to Carlos with a wicked grin.

The girls just rolled their eyes at him but stuck their hands out the windows and waved to the boys as Evie reached the end of the drive. Evie then stopped carefully, turning at looking at all of the girls from her position in the driver’s seat.

“So, are you ready to rock and roll?” Evie questioned, an eyebrow raised with a slight grin uplifting the corners of her lips. Everyone’s eyes immediately went as wide as saucers as they recollected their last trip together. Uma dove for the window, rolling it down as far as it would go and as fast as the car would allow.

“PRAY FOR ME!!! LET THE POWERS THAT BE TAKE THE WHEEL FOR EVIE’S AT IT!!!!” Uma commenced to screaming at the top of her lungs, and Evie eyed her confusedly. Audrey looked a bit like she might join her, and Jane was just cowering in the backseat with a completely afraid expression on her face.

“Wow… She really doesn’t want to listen to my country playlist,” Evie noted as she suddenly withdrew a CD, her brow furrowed as she eyed the pirate captain in the backseat.

Mal sighed, relieved at the fact that Evie wasn’t meaning that she was going to drive like a nutcase.

“It’s okay, E, we thought you meant something else,” Mal informed her, and Uma pulled her head back in the Jeep, watching the exchange.

“What- wait, you thought I was talking about driving, didn’t you? M, you know I’m an excellent driver,” Evie proudly told her best friend as she started down the road.

“Okay, so you know how you’re into science, math, logic- that kind of thing?” Uma questioned, gesturing with her hand.

“Yeah?” Evie replied as she looked at Uma in the rearview mirror, cuing Uma to add to her inquiry.

“Well, let’s just say that according to the scientific mathematical logic of me coupled with the formula of past experience, that statement is totally invalid,” Uma shortly told the bluenette and Evie rolled her eyes, ultimately letting the insult wash over her effortlessly as she popped in the CD.

“This is going to be good. It has thirty different authentic country songs on it,” Evie told the group, and Mal raised an eyebrow.

“Let me guess. You did that yesterday, too, right?” Mal asked, and Evie very surprisingly shook her head.

“No, that was this morning before we got ready to leave,” Evie informed the other girl with a huge grin, and Mal gaped at her sister.

“Evie, you didn’t!” Mal cried, and Evie guiltily nodded. However, before Mal could continue in her pursual of this conversation, a gosh-awful screeching started playing through the speakers and utterly offending Mal’s ears.

_Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene,_

_I’m begging of you, please don’t take my man_

“Hold the phone, what the heck is that?” Uma questioned, pointing at the radio with a totally disgusted look on her face.

“It’s ‘Jolene’ by Dolly Parton!” Evie grinned, launching into song wholeheartedly, but changing the words so that it was Charlene- her Jeep- instead.

“Charlene, Charlene, Charlene, Charlene!!! I’m begging of you, please don’t take my car!” Evie belted, patting the steering wheel fondly as she drove along, already turning onto the highway that would eventually lead them to the side road that went to the country house. Uma just slowly met Mal’s gaze with her jaw slack. Everyone in the car except for Evie was totally unaware of this song, how it went, what century it was from…

“That is awful! She sounds like a goat!” Audrey proclaimed, covering her ears as she tried to block out the sound.

“Kind of ironic considering where we’re going!” Uma shot back at her, raising her voice to be heard over Evie’s boisterous singing.

“I don’t know, guys. I kind of like it!” Jane piped up as she started hesitantly clapping her hands with Evie’s singing. Evie offered her a grateful look as she just kept on singing, driving down the road steadily.

After several lines of complete torture, Mal, Audrey, and Uma were completely sure that they were going to die. They were starting to wish that their eardrums would hurry up and burst.

However, as soon as Evie started into the chorus, Uma launched her own version of the tune.

“Change it, change it, change it, change it! I’m begging you, please don’t play it no more!” Uma sang along, and as Mal and Audrey resisted the urge to laugh, it became clear to Evie that everyone except herself had their fill of the song.

“Okay, okay! I’ll change it if you insist,” Evie begrudgingly spoke, reaching for a button on the radio slowly as she anxiously waited on someone to protest her movement.

“Oh, I insist. Trust me,” Uma assured her wholeheartedly.

So Evie complied, and by the time that she was through, Mal, Uma, and Audrey were ready to cut their ears off.

“I tried so hard, my dear, to show… That you’re my every dream,” Evie started to sing with the crooning cowboy, and Mal resisted the urge to smack her head against the window.

“What’s that?” Mal dared ask, and Evie shot her a huge smile.

“‘Cold, Cold Heart’ by Hank Williams, Senior,” Evie named the song quickly before picking up right where she left off.

Mal looked back at Uma, and Uma grinned at her wickedly. Mal tilted her head in silent questioning, and Uma slowly lifted her phone, wiggling it a little as she waggled her eyebrows.

Mal immediately nodded, practically begging for Uma to save their ears from total annihilation by Evie’s terrible music taste.

“So, how do you feel about ‘Body Like a Backroad’ by Sam Hunt?” Uma offered up to Evie wickedly as she tapped away at her phone. “Is that on your list?”

Evie actually stopped singing and moving to the song altogether in favor of responding to the pirate. Mal almost laughed at the abruptness of the pause as Evie lost all semblances of her good humor.

“That song is not allowed in my car,” Evie informed Uma seriously, not a drop of Evie’s natural mannerisms in her voice. But just like that, as soon as she said her piece, all of Evie’s sweetness and kindness returned, her voice effortlessly launching into song once again.

Mal kept her eyes on Uma as she looked through her phone quickly. Audrey peered over Uma’s shoulder, watching her scroll. Uma finally tapped her phone swiftly, and Audrey’s face lit up in an evil grin, her eyes flicking to Evie who was blissfully unaware.

Uma looked at Mal with a determined nod, and Mal just barely returned it with one of her own in order to avoid getting Evie’s attention.

As soon as Evie finished her song, her knee bouncing excitedly as she looked at Mal with her eyes sparkling beautifully. Mal almost felt bad for what she was about to do to her sister.

“‘Take Me Home, Country Road’ is up next!” Evie cried in pure excitement, and as soon as she returned her eyes to the road, Mal turned off the radio. Evie furrowed her brow, her jaw dropping open as she glared at Mal.

“What did you do that for?! This is my car, my radio! I call insubordination!” Evie declared to her best friend, and Mal’s lips curled wickedly as Evie’s most hated song started to emanate from Uma’s phone loudly.

Evie’s eyes went wide in horror as Audrey and Uma started swinging along to the song in the backseat. Mal didn’t know the words, but she started dancing, nevertheless.

“NO!!!!” Evie cried, but it was too late for protest. Much too late.

“Got a girl from the South side! Got braids in her hair,” Uma and Audrey sang together, and Mal tugged at Evie’s small braids playfully as the pirate captain hooted loudly.

So, it went- as Evie sat there in torture, Mal, Uma, and Audrey had their very loud and boisterous fun. They continued to pick at her for the remainder of the song, and by the time it was over, Evie was sure she was going to die.

When it was finally over, Evie was really quiet for a few moments, and Mal couldn’t help but wonder if they had successfully broken the other girl.

However, after only a moment, Evie reached over to her radio and pressed the button, turning back on that dreadful, ancient country music. Mal sighed, closing her eyes and realizing that they didn’t manage to deter the other girl at all.

Needless to say, despite the fact that it was going to be less than one day for them to get there, it was going to be the longest drive of Mal’s life.


	3. The Arrival

By the time that they arrived at the road off the highway leading to the farm, Mal was ready to jump out of the window, Audrey was about to scream, and Jane was still clapping along, albeit slightly less enthusiastically. Evie was still going strong, now with Tanya Tucker’s “Delta Dawn.” But the worst part was that Uma had decided to sing along. Even though she didn’t know any of the words.

“Somethin’, somethin’, somethin’, Delta Dawn! Don’t know how it goes-awn!” Uma sang with Evie’s correct lyrics, and between them both, they were a giant headache. The louder that Uma tried to sing and screw up Evie’s singing, the louder Evie carried her tune to counteract it.

Mal looked back at Audrey, and Audrey met Mal’s eyes in an almost traumatized manner. The pink princess leaned up so that she was nearby Mal, wincing as she glanced at Evie who had just started singing a little louder.

“How long is it going to take until we get there?” Audrey asked, her mouth near Mal’s ear. Mal shrugged and shot an unimpressed look at Evie before dedicating more attention to the princess behind her.

“I don’t think too long,” Mal replied quietly. Audrey just looked between Uma and Evie before shaking her head, her deep chocolate eyes meeting Mal’s own emerald ones.

“Would you judge if I started yelling profanities?”

“No. But I think that Evie would have a fit,” Mal answered, and Audrey sighed.

“I won’t, then. We certainly can’t stand any _more_ noise,” Audrey spoke, and Mal nodded emphatically.

“Definitely.”

Before long, there were rolling pastures on the sides of the road and Mal couldn’t help but think that they must be getting close.

Soon enough, at the last chorus of “Delta Dawn,” they reached the driveway to the farm, and Evie turned in, reaching over and turning off the radio as they took it all in. Mal and Audrey shared a glance of relief, as Evie marveled at everything around.

“Aw, man. You done killed my tunes!” Uma proclaimed with a barely held back laugh. Mal and Audrey shot her a warning glare as they signaled her to stop talking lest Evie start back up again.

They finally came to a stop in front of the farmhouse, and Evie turned the key so that the radio still had power but the engine was off.

Evie looked to her left, noting the cows nearby the fence, and she looked to her right, gaping at the horses trotting up to see who had come. Mal was just baffled by it all. She had never seen so many animals in one place.

Movement caught their eye and they looked at the porch, seeing the elderly couple there. The old man had a cowboy hat on, and Mal immediately knew that was the kiss of death. Evie’s face lit up in an enormous grin as she practically dove for the radio.

“I’m going to make my impression as a real cowgirl with a real cowgirl song!” Evie proclaimed, and Audrey’s jaw slackened in pure horror. Uma just raised an eyebrow and leaned forward.

All of a sudden, “The Git Up” started to play loudly out of the speakers, and Evie skipped it to her most favorite part. She put on her cowgirl hat, tipping it to Mal playfully as she jumped out of the Jeep excitedly.

_This next part’s my favorite part, uh,_

_‘Coz it’s time to shine_

Evie launched into her dance wholeheartedly, and Audrey slowly melted in her seat in pure mortification as the old man and woman just stared at Evie as if she had lost her mind. Uma had leaned up between the passenger seat and the driver’s seat so she could watch better with Mal.

“You gonna get out there with her?” Uma questioned as Evie broke it down in front of everyone. Mal just gaped at Uma, not able to even imagine getting out and embarrassing herself in any such of a way.

“No!” Mal answered quickly, and Uma glanced between Evie and Mal. She looked at Audrey who was trying to avoid being seen, and her face lit up in a wicked grin as she snatched her seafoam green hat.

“Well, we can’t leave her hanging,” Uma proclaimed, and slung her door open wide so that everyone could easily see Audrey inside the Jeep. Uma quickly sidled up to Evie, launching into the dance perfectly along with her.

Audrey’s eyes went wide as she reached over and slammed the door that Uma had so cruelly left open. Mal wasn’t even embarrassed at this point and was instead just totally baffled by her two best friends. Jane was watching curiously and grinning slightly as she enjoyed the dance.

“Can we leave them here?” Audrey questioned after only a second. Mal blinked, shaken from her stupor.

“No. We’ve got to get out, unfortunately,” Mal informed the other girl finally as she reached over and turned off the radio then turned off the ignition.

Evie and Uma froze, mid-two-step and looked back at Mal confusedly.

“Yo, you threw off our groove!” Uma called to them, and Mal rolled her eyes fondly.

“Hi, sir and ma’am, I’m Mal, and those two idiots out there in front of you are Uma and Evie,” Mal started into her introductions as she turned toward her door to open it. However, as soon as she faced her window, a giant lolling tongue greeted her. Mal jumped backward against the armrest between the two seats, freaking out fully as an enormous dog stared her down.

“Don’t worry, your Majesty, that’s just Barney,” the old woman called, and Mal could’ve sworn she heard a hint of a laugh in her voice. Mal just froze in her seat, unwilling to move as the dog looked at her from his position with his paws on the door of the vehicle.

Evie immediately started to look for the creature known as Barney. As soon as her eyes rested upon the giant white dog in her passenger seat window, Evie’s face lit up in a grin larger than any Mal had ever seen as she started around the Jeep.

Unlike Mal, Evie had actually started to really like dogs. It was actually quite a surprising development, because Evie usually despised nasty things, and pets came under the classification of nasty.

However, with dogs, Evie seemed to forsake her inhibitions and embrace them fully. Of course, it was likely due to the fact that she had been a dog at one point, and as a result of the events that had happened to her as a dog, she had infinitely more sympathy for the creatures.

“Hi, buddy!” Evie cried, bending down as she beckoned the dog over to her excitedly. He slowly hopped down from the door, his big white form ambling over to Evie as his slightly upturned tail swayed behind him.

She offered her hand tentatively, and the dog sniffed it before sliming her entire hand with dog spit. Evie didn’t even seem to mind the slobber as she started to pet the thick fur of his neck, running her fingers through it as she just seemed right at home.

“You are just the cutest fluffmuffin!” Evie baby-talked him, pressing her nose against the dog’s playfully. He licked her face swiftly in response, his tail wagging faster. Evie laughed wholeheartedly.

“That’s so nasty. But you’re cute, so I’ll let you get away with it,” Evie informed him as she kissed his nose carefully.

“So, you gonna sniff his butt now?” Uma questioned from her position leaned against the hood of Charlene, and Evie paused in her petting of the dog.

“No. Why would you say that?”

“Well, he’s a dog… You were one… You’re getting awfully cozy with him. Don’t you think you need to say hello properly?” Uma asked wickedly, and Evie’s eyes narrowed as she ran her fingers through the fluff around his ears.

“I thought the entire purpose of this bet was to keep us from talking about those sorts of incidents anymore,” Evie informed her, and Uma shook her head.

“That bet was made with the boys. I didn’t agree to anything like that,” Uma smugly informed her.

Mal watched Evie carefully, making sure that the dog wasn’t going to come over and eat her, and she hesitantly started to open her door so that she could finish her introductions.

However, as soon as she did, there was a flowing sea of white creatures that came flooding in from behind a nearby shed along with another giant dog. Mal resisted the urge to scream, and she swiftly slammed her door, deciding that she would climb over the armrest and get out on the dog-free side of the car.

“OH, PUPPIES!!!” Evie squealed, and Mal didn’t have to look to know that Evie was likely covered in white puffballs. Mal hurried over to the couple standing on the porch.

“So, as I was saying, I am Mal, the dog lover over there is Evie, and the sassy one is Uma,” Mal introduced herself once again with a slight smile.

“Well, it’s a pleasure to meet you, your majesty. But I thought there were going to be five of you- if you don’t mind me saying, of course,” the man stammered a bit, taking off his hat respectfully. Mal turned and pointed at Audrey who was just now starting to snake out of the car with Jane close behind her.

“The pink monstrosity is Audrey, and the girl behind her is Jane,” Mal informed him with a grin.

“I’m George, and this is my wife Anne,” the old man introduced himself and his wife before getting down to business.

“So, King Ben has told me that-”

“Oh, just Ben. Don’t worry about formalities. My motto is when the crown’s off, the title’s off. And I try not to wear the crown often. It can be a little too heavy sometimes,” Mal joked, and the two chuckled, looking much more relaxed as they eyed her. Audrey and Jane stepped up behind Mal, and wordlessly watched the conversation.

“Well, whatever you say,” George respectfully spoke, and Mal nodded easily. “What I was saying was that your husband had told us that you and these girls were coming here to experience genuine farm living. Is that right?”

“Yeah. Don’t hold back. We want to make sure that we are exposed to the complete treatment,” Mal explained.

“Of course. Y’all will get started tomorrow. For now, we’ve got you a place to sleep in the loft of the barn,” he informed her, and Mal paused for just a second, slightly surprised.

“Don’t look so worried, dear. It’s really cozy up there, and there are some sleeping bags already set up for you,” Anne reassured kindly.

“See, we only have one bedroom in the house, so there wouldn’t be enough room for all five of you. I hope that’s okay,” George nervously spoke, and Mal offered him a big smile.

“It’s perfect,” Mal assured him, a sweet expression on her fac.

“M! Can I take them all home?!” Evie suddenly called, and Mal turned to see Evie stumbling over with a whole herd of fluffballs surrounding her feet, a puppy in each arm as they wiggled and writhed and tried to lick her face. Even Uma had one in her arm, and Mal couldn’t help but notice how Uma was fondly petting the creature, her nose buried in the fur of its neck. It seemed perfectly content in her arms, and its head was snuggled as close to her as it could manage.

However, as Evie and the kerfuffle were growing nearer, Mal was forced to avert her gaze to the bluenette. Mal raised an eyebrow at Evie as she somewhat fearfully gazed at all of the puppies and the giant parents following Evie happily.

“Look, E, I don’t think that’s a good idea. They’re not ours.”

“Don’t worry, they’re all for sale,” the old people informed them, and Mal closed her eyes in dread as Evie started cooing and carrying on even louder.

“Oh!!! M!!!” Evie squealed happily, and Mal reopened her eyes.

“No, we can’t get one. I remember my last experience with a dog, and it was the worst one I’ve ever had,” Mal explained to Evie. The bluenette then paused with a pout as she slowly put the two puppies on the ground with their littermates. Before long, the parents of the puppies started off in a direction and the herd followed.

Evie sighed softly and walked over to join Mal.

Mal looked at Uma, noticing that she still hadn’t put down her pup. Uma was just holding it carefully, petting it gently as it relaxed there and didn’t even show any interest in joining its siblings. Mal raised an eyebrow at the pirate, and Uma innocently looked at the faerie.

“What? She’s asleep, so I can’t put her down,” Uma informed Mal shortly. Mal looked at the puppy, and she saw that it was definitely not asleep, instead just relaxing.

“It’s not asleep, Uma,” Mal told her and the pirate raised both eyebrows, peering over the puppy’s head to examine her carefully. The pup looked up at Uma curiously before nibbling her chin playfully. Uma chuckled.

“Yeah, I guess she’s not asleep anymore.” Uma then very begrudgingly put the puppy down on the ground so it could rejoin the others. It looked up at her upside down and fell on her foot, completely lost as it tilted its head. The corners of Uma’s lips slightly upturned as she looked at the adorable puppy that had sat on her shoe.

“Alright, now. Go on. Go join your sisters and brothers,” Uma told it kindly, and Mal could see Uma’s very definite urge to pick it back up and pet it more.

The puppy started to get up finally, but after a moment of walking away, it looked at her one more time.

Uma nodded to it, and it finally walked away slowly, following the path of the others.

“Huh. Ol’ runt took a shining to you,” George acknowledged, and Uma grinned softly.

“Shrimpy and Runt. A heck of a team,” Mal piped up absent-mindedly, and Uma cut her eyes at Mal immediately, looking like she might blow up on her. Mal knew just how much that nickname riled up the other girl, and she couldn’t help but grin wickedly as she used it. Mal usually tried to avoid using that particular name, but it was too perfect to pass up.

“What kind of dogs are they?” Uma questioned, and Anne smiled sweetly at her.

“They’re Great Pyrenees,” she informed her, and Uma nodded, taking it in.

Evie smiled, pulling out her phone as she started to look up information about the dogs. However, before she could get very far, she suddenly felt a painful pinch on her behind.

“OW!” Evie cried, jumping and latching onto Mal quickly. Mal stumbled a bit with the force of Evie’s push and she brought her hands up to steady the bluenette.

“Something bit me! Mal, it bit me! Do you think it was a snake? What if it was a snake?! Mal, it bit me on the butt, which is really rude! I’m a lady! It should’ve bit me on the foot,” Evie screeched and Mal held her arms firmly as she took in Evie’s loud yelling.

“Uh, E? You think it was that thing right behind you?” Mal suggested, pointing to the rear of Evie. Evie turned her head and spotted a goose standing there. It honked loudly before starting off in the other direction. Audrey had given the thing a wide berth, and Uma looked between the princess and the goose curiously.

“Oh, that little turd-bird!” Evie cried, her brow furrowed angrily as she glared at the creature skittling away.

“That’s just Elmer. He always bites my wife on the behind. It’s his way of saying he likes you,” George reassured with a smile and a barely concealed laugh. Evie kept her eyes on the goose’s retreating form firmly before turning her head to return to the conversation.

“Well, let’s say you girls come in, get something nice and hot in your bellies. You’re probably pretty hungry after that drive,” Anne kindly invited them in, and all the girls shared relieved glances as they entered the house to eat their dinner.

Later that night, the girls had retired to their loft in the top of the barn, and Audrey was fussing incessantly. Everyone else had already settled into their sleeping bags comfortably. Uma was lounged back, reading about Great Pyrenees, and Mal was texting Ben to let him know that they arrived safely. She didn’t bother sharing about the part that Evie had been bitten on the butt and that Mal herself was terrified of the seemingly docile farm dogs. Mal really wasn’t sure if she trusted them entirely yet.

Evie was lying in her sleeping bag, and Mal was sure that she was thinking hard about her butt bite. Jane had already started to doze off.

“Seriously! This place is a real fixer-upper!” Audrey cried, blowing hard at the dust on the windowsill. It blew up in her face, and Audrey coughed hard, waving the giant cloud away from her face.

“This is preposterous! I am a princess, Mal’s the Queen, Evie’s the Royal Advisor, Uma’s the Captain of the Guard, and Jane is the sole inheritor of the Fairy Godmother’s wand! We are better than this!” Audrey proclaimed emphatically, and Uma rolled her eyes, turning her phone off as she got comfortable in her spot.

“Would you just get in your bag and go pudding-pudding? And turn off that lamp,” Uma commanded, and Audrey grumbled under her breath about how no one understood or cared enough about her plight, but she did comply with Uma’s request and turn out the light before coming to her sleeping bag, crawling in begrudgingly.

Everyone was aligned in a weird triangle. Uma and Audrey were on one side, Jane was on the opposite side of the window, and Mal and Evie were across from Uma and Audrey.

Mal put away her phone, and snuggled deeper into the sleeping bag, placing her arms behind her back as moonlight pouring in from the window illuminated the room.

Mal heard rustling in the sleeping bag nearby, and she glanced to the side to see that Evie was scooting over nearer to her. Evie only stopped moving when her bag was touching Mal’s. The bluenette then sunk into her sleeping bag, lying on her side to face her best friend.

Evie smiled lovingly at the faerie, and Mal returned it softly. Evie withdrew her hand from her sleeping bag, and Mal was quick to reach her hand over to take Evie’s.

“You excited for our first real day out here?” Evie asked, and Mal sighed softly, pursing her lips as she considered the question.

“Yeah. I am.”

“Good.”

“After all, what could really happen to us on a farm?”


	4. Day One: Morning

“Do you really think it’s a good idea to wear these today?” Mal questioned as she pulled on a loose plaid button-up short-sleeved shirt, tucking it in swiftly.

Mal was currently knee-deep in a conversation surrounding the value of Evie’s outfits when working on a farm. Evie was adamant that they were the best option, but Mal was mostly sure that it was not a good idea to dress up so fancily when they were going to be dealing with animals. There were too many opportunities to mess them up completely.

“Well, yeah. That’s what I made them for- authentic cowgirl living,” Evie informed Mal proudly, and Mal just raised an eyebrow at her as she shook her head.

“E, am I tucked in all around?” Mal questioned, and Evie paused as Mal turned slowly.

“Yeah. But come on, M!” Evie pleaded, going right back to her begging about the outfits. Mal groaned, looking at the clothes that Evie had very neatly laid upon Mal’s suitcase. Mal spotted the hat on top of the pile, and she sighed, reaching down and grabbing it as she put it on her head.

“I will wear this. That is all I will do,” Mal told her carefully. Evie just sighed, pouting as she gazed at her best friend.

“Yo, throw me my hat. I think it ended up over there with yours somehow,” Uma called, and Mal rolled her eyes, picking up the green hat and slinging it to Uma. The pirate captain caught it quickly and placed it on top of her head.

“Yeah, you threw it at _me_ last night in your sleep, and the brim hit my face like a train. I think you were dreaming about something or another,” Mal replied simply as she eyed the girls on the other side of the room that were getting dressed.

“Huh, I was wondering why that groan of surprise and slight pain was so realistic,” Uma marveled, and Mal just scoffed.

“Mal, why won’t you wear it with me?!” Evie demanded, already clad fully in her outfit, and Mal groaned.

“Nobody else is wearing them except Audrey!” Mal proclaimed, gesturing at the pink princess. Evie turned to face Audrey, and her face lit up in a giant grin as she looked at the girl. Evie strode over and threw her arm around Audrey’s neck as she took her over to face Mal.

“And you see, Mal, that’s called loyalty!” Evie declared self-righteously, and Mal rolled her eyes with a huff. Audrey looked exceedingly uncomfortable to be in the middle of this discussion.

“Okay… I really don’t know why you’re making this such a big deal,” Mal expressed, turning and starting for the ladder. Evie followed her quickly, letting her arm slip from Audrey.

“I just want my best friend in the whole entire world to wear my masterpieces with me!” Evie sweetly told her sister as they started to descend the ladder to the lower level of the barn. Audrey, Uma, and Jane followed them quickly.

“I’m wearing your boots and your hat,” Mal informed her, trying to be helpful. Evie just sighed.

“I know, Mal. I know,” Evie told her, and they started out of the barn, Evie’s arm thrown around Mal as they headed for the house. Uma trailed behind them, looking around as she tried to spot a certain fluffy creature. 

Mal tentatively knocked on the door, and Anne called for them to come in. They went inside the house, Evie releasing Mal as she followed Mal in. When they all gathered in her small kitchen, Anne turned and smile at all of them.

“There you dears are. Just in time, too,” Anne claimed, and Mal had the feeling that she was about to ask one of them to do something. She was really hoping that Anne wouldn’t ask them to cook. It never went well when they tried to cook. Uma was the only one with a remote chance, and even then, she only knew seafood.

“Audrey, honey, do you think you could go out and get some eggs from the chickens? I’m working on the pancakes right now,” the elderly woman informed her, and Audrey gulped hard, inevitably thinking of her intense fear of poultry.

“Yes, ma’am,” Audrey respectfully replied, not forgetting her manners as she instinctually nodded to the old lady and almost curtsied. However, she caught herself with the curtsy.

“Just go straight out the door and around that building over there. On the other side is the chicken pen,” Anne told her, and Audrey nodded before starting out the door and heading for the fence.

As Audrey grew closer, she suddenly heard a rooster crowing, and she jumped, before closing her eyes tightly in an attempt to pull herself together.

“Okay, Audrey, you are fine. They’re a bunch of tiny chickens,” Audrey reassured herself, starting to head around the building once again. 

“They’re way smaller than you, and there’s no way that a chicken could ever hurt you. Chickens don’t hurt people,” Audrey told herself as she attempted to build her own confidence, but suddenly realized that she had no idea if chickens hurt people or not.

Audrey swallowed, but steeled herself, knowing that she was a self-sufficient young woman and perfectly capable of handling herself. She then headed down the side of the building as she gazed at the fence attached to it.

Her eyes went ridiculously wide as she rested her gaze on the biggest chicken she ever saw in her life. 

It was like a nightmare-sized chicken. It was huge, black and white, and a huge fluffball of feathers everywhere. It had feathers on its legs where there should have been yellow, and it had huge, draping tail-feathers. Its head tilted to look her in the eye, and she quickly realized it had red eyes. Audrey thought she might completely freak out, and that she should definitely go back in and get one of the other girls to come out and take care of it. 

However, it was then that she thought of how Uma would treat her, and Audrey let out a calming breath, reaching for the handle of the gate.

“It’s okay. It’s okay,” Audrey muttered under her breath as she opened the gate, stepping in quickly as she tried to avoid chickening out- no pun intended.

The rooster before her immediately crowed, and she jerked slightly, realizing that the big giant one in front of her was the male of the group. As soon as she was in the gate, there were an enormous group of hens starting to surround her, and she swallowed hard, stepping over toward the henhouse, and trying to avoid getting too close with the birds.

“Move over… Move over… Good chickies,” Audrey praised, and she entered the house. She then started to pick the eggs out of the nest boxes. 

She winced as one felt exceedingly warm. Another one felt sticky. And another one… Well, it was covered in chicken poop.

“EWW!!!” Audrey cried, completely grossed out by the fact that now it was on her hands. After a moment, Audrey was ready to leave, and she realized that all of the chickens had come in with her. They were blocking her only exit. And there was that blasted, scary rooster standing there next to her and staring her in the eye.

She suddenly felt an overwhelming sense of claustrophobia, and she nearly screamed as she stepped around and through the group, almost leaping toward the gate with a bunch of eggs in her hands. Audrey slung it open before shutting it swiftly, the chickens pouring out of the henhouse. 

Audrey sighed in relief, turning and heading back for the house as she mentally patted herself on the back for her resilience.

“I’m back, and I’ve got breakfast!” Audrey proclaimed, and everyone offered various expressions of praise and kudos. 

“Very good, dear. Now, can you rinse them off?” Anne questioned, and Audrey resisted the urge to whine as she had already managed to get her sleeves pulled back to wash her hands from poop.

“Yes, ma’am.”

After a while, the group had eaten their breakfast, and Evie was the first one to head outside on the porch. Mal and everyone else were in deep conversation with George and Anne about something or another. Evie normally would have stayed with her best friend, but she decided that she wanted to have a look around the farm. Or at least see it from the porch at her own unhurried pace.

Evie looked around quietly, enjoying the fresh smell of country air surrounding her. She closed her eyes, reveling in the serenity of it all. Something about the city was really lacking when it came to this sort of relaxing calmness.

But all of that soothing quiet came to an abrupt halt as soon as she heard a honk. Evie’s eyes shot open and she looked at the creature that made the sudden noise. There next to her off the porch was Elmer the goose.

Evie stared at him for a moment, but she mustered up a smile as she sat down on the porch to better face the goose.

“Hi, Elmer. I’m Evie,” she introduced herself, and he just looked at her.

“I think we got off on the wrong foot, and I just wanted to say that I think we could get along really great,” Evie informed him, launching into her one-sided conversation.

“It’s just… and don’t take this the wrong way… but you have a real biting problem,” Evie regretfully told the creature. He honked, and Evie winced.

“I’m sorry. It’s just that I’ve never been bitten on the behind before. Not even on the Isle, and over there, people bit people. Heck, even in Auradon I’ve been bit. Mal and I were joking around, and I was sitting next to her when she decided to take a bite out of crime on my upper arm,” Evie explained somewhat awkwardly, remembering Mal’s biting problem well. 

“But you see, the difference between Mal and you is that Mal only does it to people that she cares about most. She has so far bitten Jay and Carlos- our brothers,” Evie made sure to clarify, “and me.”

The goose just looked at her curiously and Evie sighed, feeling that she needed to go into more detail for his benefit.

“Well, I had gotten curious about it and looked it up, trying to check if it was normal when Mal had no explanation for her reasons for doing it. According to my research, it is tied loosely to something known as cute aggression and it is perfectly normal for someone to want to bite someone they love. It’s an overwhelming flow of positive emotion,” Evie informed him, and she realized that she needed to amend her statements quickly in case the goose was getting the wrong idea. And from the odd look in his eye, he was definitely getting the wrong idea.

“See, the thing is that you don’t even know me. So, I think yours is just pent-up aggression stemming from negative emotion,” Evie told him, dedicatedly keeping up her one-sided conversation.

“Now, so what you need to try to focus on is not biting people, okay?” Evie expressed, and the goose just looked at her, tilting its head as it honked.

“Good, good. It was nice having this talk with you,” Evie sweetly informed him as she stood up from her place on the porch, stepping off into the grass as she turned her back to the goose.

After only a second, there was a hard pinch on her behind in the exact same place but on the other side.

“OW!!! You little… Biscuit-eater!” Evie cried, and she stopped, looking around in an attempt to ensure that no one had heard her.

“A biscuit-eater?” Mal chuckled as she came out of the front door. “Seriously?”

“You weren’t supposed to hear that. I am not setting good examples for you,” Evie sighed, and Mal snorted at her. Evie pursed her lips, not impressed with Mal’s lack of regard for rude language.

“Don’t worry, I could say much worse than you could ever dream of actually saying. You want me to show you?” Mal questioned teasingly, and Evie shook her head.

“We’re good,” Evie assured her, fully certain of her words as Audrey, Jane, and Uma came outside followed by George. The three girls stepped off the porch to stand with Evie and Mal.

“Okay, girls. Are you ready for your first day?” George questioned with a smile, and they all expressed varying forms of agreement. 

“Alright! Well, Evie and Audrey will be mucking the horse stalls today,” George announced, and Audrey’s eyes went wide in horror. Evie didn’t know what George was talking about, but Evie did know that she thought horses were cool.

“Uma and Que- Mal. Y’all will be helping me fix the fence for the sheep,” George informed them, and they nodded easily.

“Jane, your job ties in with Uma and Mal’s because you’re going to be shearing the sheep while they’re penned up tight. As we fix the fence, you’ll set free the shaved ones into the bigger fence,” George told her, and Jane’s eyes went widely.

“Well, if you have any questions, just let me know, and I’ll be happy to help you out.”

“I’m good. Just… One little question, though.”

“What is it?” George asked kindly, and Evie smiled slightly, sheepishly looking at him from under the brim of her hat.

“What’s mucking the stalls?” George just chuckled in response to her inquiry.

“I reckon you should ask your helper that. She seems to be well-acquainted with the subject if that look is anything to go by,” George pointed out, and Evie noticed that Audrey was staring at her as if she was out of her mind. Evie offered him a huge grin before looking at Audrey somewhat curiously.

“Well, the stuff that you two need are over at the barn just outside the door, and I’m going to get the things that we need,” George gestured at himself, Jane, Mal, and Uma before heading off. Uma and Mal shared a glance with a shrug. Jane looked terribly pale, and Evie was still completely clueless about mucking stalls.

“So, what is mucking a stall?” Evie questioned innocently, and Audrey rolled her eyes.

“It’s shoveling horse crap and taking it away,” Audrey informed her in a loud whisper, totally outraged at the fact that she would be having to do a job that the stable boys always took care of at home. Evie’s eyes went hugely wide as she gasped in horror.

Evie couldn’t go and shovel horse poop. How was she possibly going to make it through that? 

It then occurred to her that it could be a possibility to either trade jobs or trade partners, and the worried look melted away from her face as she thought about this for a moment. Before long, Evie turned to Mal with the sweetest of smiles, her eyes lit up in that gorgeous manner that managed to get her anything she wanted from almost anybody.

“Mal… My best friend forever, my sister, one of the precious holders of my heart, apple of my eye, sweet little nugget of goodness-”

“I’m not trading jobs with you, and I’m not going to switch with Thorn,” Mal informed Evie, glancing at Audrey.

“No, no, I thought that you’d follow me anywhere! I’d follow you anywhere!” Evie pleaded, trying to guilt Mal into helping her out here. And by the looks of it, Mal wasn’t falling for her tricks.

“Wow, you change tunes fast. The last beat I heard went something like,” Mal pretended to stop and think before continuing with a completely neutral expression.

“Audrey was the perfect picture of loyalty and it implied that I wasn’t,” Mal pointed out with a raise of her eyebrow as her expression shifted into something more wicked.

Evie’s jaw went slack as it occurred to her what she had said that morning. Evie then put on one of her one-thousand-watt grins that conveyed all of her sweetness and guiltiness at once.

“Well, you see, it’s really funny you mention that. That was just a joke,” Evie laughed helplessly, knowing she had already dug this ditch for herself. She knew Mal wasn’t really mad at her. She could see in Mal’s features that she wasn’t irritated at all, and was instead enjoying herself greatly. 

Evie felt an impending sense of dread creeping upon her as she realized that Mal was having her moment of wicked mischief that she seemed to like to victimize Evie with every once in a while. It was always harmless, but it was always something that Evie hated or at the very least immensely disliked.

“I’m sorry, Evie, but I’m leaving you to it. It’s really not as bad as putting up a barbed wire fence. Besides, I think that you’d do… so much better than me at picking up poop,” Mal snickered, and Evie almost whined in frustration. Evie hated it when Mal got these mischievous streaks.

“You’ll be alright, Blue,” Uma informed Evie, reaching over and grabbing her shoulder firmly before smirking evilly. “You just gotta put on your big girl panties and buck up.”

Mal and Uma both looked like they might laugh, and they turned, heading toward the sheep fence with Jane following them.

“Well… Well… We’ll do great!” Evie declared defiantly, frustrated as she tried to play Mal’s game in turn. She would not let Mal’s mischievousness overtake her.

“I’m sure you will!” Mal replied, snickering as she grew further away.

“I am a strong and independent woman, and I can do this!” Evie announced.

“Are you telling us or yourself?” Uma questioned, cackling wholeheartedly, and Evie set her jaw, huffing as she decided they would do this.

“Okay, Audrey, let’s show them,” Evie informed the princess as she started off toward the horse barn. Audrey half-groaned and half-whined as she followed the other girl.

And off they were to go shovel.


	5. Day One: Afternoon

Before long they reached the barn, and Evie spotted the shovels leaning against the side of the barn just outside of the door, just as George had said they’d be. Evie grabbed the shovels, handing one to Audrey as Evie handed Audrey the pitchfork as well.

“Let’s see what’s inside,” Evie spoke as she pulled open the barn door with her free hand. The both of them went in, and Audrey immediately recognized the scent of horses. And the scent of their poop, she thought to herself as she wrinkled her nose.

Evie leaned over the doors of the stalls on the left side, checking to see how much the two would need to clean up. Audrey was still having a mental meltdown at the fact that she was going to have to clean up the poop, and she swiftly leaned the pitchfork and the shovel against the wood of the stalls.

Evie then looped over to the right side, realizing that as she went from stall to stall that the amount of poop seemed to get increasingly greater.

When she was through looking, she stood there beside Audrey. From an outsider’s point of view, the two rhinestone cowgirls were a rather strange sight in the rustic look of the barn.

“We might as well get to work. But we need something to put the poop in,” Evie trailed off, looking around as she tried to find something that would work. It then occurred to her that there was a wheelbarrow nearby, and she hurried over, pushing it over nearby where they were working.

Evie opened the door and started into her shoveling.

“I am a princess!!!” Audrey declared, watching Evie with a steady whine building in her voice. Evie shook her head, trying to bend properly in the outfit she was wearing. As much as she loathed to admit it, Mal was right about the clothes. They were very constricting and uncomfortable when doing farm work.

“I was, too, but then I moved here,” Evie offhandedly commented as she heaved another almost overflowing shovelful of horse droppings. Audrey was immediately returned to the first day that all of the VKs had arrived when she had informed Evie that she had no royal status in Auradon. She felt a rebuilding sense of guilt after Evie had said it so nonchalantly.

“You know, I really am sorry for saying that to you when you first came here,” Audrey sincerely spoke, fully expecting Evie to respond with at least a hint of bitterness. However, Evie instead offered her a sweet, accepting smile as she shoveled.

“I know, and it’s okay,” Evie reassuringly spoke, and Audrey stared at the bluenette for a moment, feeling more intrigued by her than ever before.

Evie had this motherly quality that was just absolutely shocking to see from a girl that was not too far from Audrey’s age. It was comforting, and it somehow made Audrey immediately more comfortable with her, despite the fact that she hadn’t had very many one-on-one conversations with Evie.

“I still feel bad,” Audrey continued, and Evie shook her head, that caring smile still illuminating her face.

“Well, why don’t you help me with this, and we’ll say we’re even?” Evie offered, and Audrey eyed the shovel leaning against the wood with dread.

“Couldn’t I feel less bad some other way?”

“This is the only way I can think of right now, and there’s no use in keeping negativity in you for any longer than you have to,” Evie informed her, not a trace of insincerity in her voice or the slightest hint of the possibility that she was just trying to get Audrey to hurry up and help. Audrey eyed the bluenette curiously and picked up the shovel with great distaste before helping the other girl scoop the waste into the wheelbarrow.

“Eww… This is so gross,” Audrey complained after a few minutes, and Evie chuckled slightly breathlessly.

“You know what they do on pirate ships to work more efficiently?” Evie questioned, and Audrey shook her head, looking over at Evie just barely as she tried to decipher where this was going. She winced as she tried to comfortably work in the outfit that Evie had made. It was admittedly very tight, and she couldn’t effectively move in it.

“They sing shanties,” Evie answered her own inquiry, and Audrey rolled her eyes in exasperation, unable to imagine singing while she was suffering the pain of Evie’s outfit as well as shoveling waste.

“I’m pretty sure we don’t need-”

“Shooooovveeeelll, _boom_. _Boom_. Shooooovveeeelll, _boom_. _Boom_ ,” Evie started into her instrumental, her voice deepening as she tried to achieve the sound of tons of deep-voiced male pirates.

“And you’re singing.” Evie didn’t pay the pink princess any attention as she carried her tune into a simple yet happy solo.

“Shovel, shovel, shovel shoo-shoo today! Shovel, shovel, shovel the shoo-shoo away!” Evie sang, attempting to be upbeat about the entire situation.

“Why would you sing?! There is nothing to sing about!” Audrey cried out in desperation, and Evie just kept going. Audrey groaned, silently tolerating it for a few more minutes before she finally couldn’t stand the unnecessary cheerfulness anymore.

“Stop, would you?! It’s not helping!” Audrey demanded, and Evie just offered her a cheerful smile.

“It’s not helping because you aren’t singing. Come on, it’s a simple tune,” Evie assured her, and Audrey just rolled her eyes as Evie cheerfully picked up where she left off.

However, after a moment, she started to hum with her, not enjoying it, but through plain desperation, she thought that it couldn’t hurt anything.

Surprisingly, Evie’s method actually seemed to work, and they were quickly growing finished with the stall.

“See, I told you it’d work!”

“I never actually sang with you,” Audrey replied simply as she shoveled a big helping of poop into the wheelbarrow.

“I know, but you hummed, and that was obviously good enough,” Evie persisted, and Audrey said nothing, allowing Evie to keep her delusional way of thinking. Evie took one large last scoop of poop, and dumped it into the wheelbarrow.

“Okay! I think we just finished our first stall,” Evie declared proudly, throwing an arm around Audrey’s shoulder fondly. Audrey just shook her head, glancing at all of the other stalls they had left.

Evie followed her gaze and frowned slightly at the sight of the work they had yet to do.

“Well. We aren’t going to get anywhere just standing around,” Evie cheerfully noted, and from her overly cheerful voice, Audrey knew the bluenette was dreading it.

However, when Evie stepped forward, it became clear that she had missed a pile of poop. Audrey jumped back as Evie very unceremoniously slid down onto the ground on her back.

Evie gasped, the breath knocked out of her as she set her wide-eyed gaze on the ceiling. Her hat was lying behind her on the floor, and Audrey was just standing there gaping at her.

Evie slowly rose up, regaining her breath and she looked at what had made her fall. It was then that she spotted the most horrifying thing that she could have ever faced.

There on her beautiful, custom-made chaps covering her leather pants was a huge green-brown streak from where fresh horse poop smeared on her clothing. She just sat there blubbering as she gazed at her leg, and Audrey didn’t say a word.

After only a moment, though, Audrey started to laugh wholeheartedly and fully, bending over in the midst of her mirth.

“My hard work! All of my hard work! This is suede! SUEDE, PEOPLE!!!” Evie wailed loudly, and Audrey just cackled. It was something about the positively baffled look on Evie’s face that brought about her mirth, and plus the fact that she had fallen in poop after being so cheerful about picking it up.

“I now know what we’re sending to the boys!” Audrey proclaimed amongst laughter, and Evie was too upset about her chaps to care about the fact that there was about to be a photo made of her.

Before long, there was a selfie being sent to the boys with Evie in the background about to have a meltdown.

Meanwhile, with Uma and Mal, things were about to get much worse for them.

“Can you two get the roll of barbed wire out by that shed out yonder?” George questioned, pointing in a direction.

“Sure thing,” Mal assured him, and Jane looked at them both in horror, afraid of being left by herself in this strange new place.

“Hey, Jane, you’ll be fine,” Mal took pity on the poor girl, reaching over and squeezing Jane’s hand fondly. Jane nodded, uncertainty still in her gaze but considerably less so now that Mal had reassured her.

“Okay.”

“Oh, do you two want some gloves?” George offered, and before Mal could answer an affirmative, Uma interjected.

“Nah, we’re big girls. We’ve got this,” Uma informed him confidently, and he shrugged.

“Alright. Well, the gloves are with me if you need them. Just give me a holler if you need them,” George told them before heading off with Jane toward the fence.

“Big girls, huh?” Mal questioned, an eyebrow raised, and Uma grinned at her wickedly.

“We are. At least I am,” Uma expressed, and Mal huffed as they started toward the roll of fencing.

They soon reached the barbed wire and stared at it for a moment, noting just how covered in barbs that it was. Mal and Uma shared a glance, but neither voiced their feelings about how they wished they had accepted the gloves. Now that Uma had so confidently declared how she felt, they couldn’t go crying to George about getting poked.

“Well, I’ll get the front end,” Uma volunteered, and they picked up the barbed wire carefully.

They started toward the fence, having to stop several times as they tried to reposition the wire so that it wasn’t stabbing their hands.

“Ow!” Uma cried, dropping her side of the roll of fencing to look at her hand after the barbed wire had stabbed her once again. The roll shifted in Mal’s grip suddenly and it stabbed her swiftly.

Mal immediately dropped it with a slight yelp as she alternated between glaring at Uma and worriedly examining her digits. There was the slightest hints of red starting to stain her hand from where it had poked a hole in her.

“Great, now I’m stabbed,” Mal complained, and Uma just shook her hand, trying to get the pain out of it.

“Yeah, well, your soft queenly hands must not be used to all this work,” Uma sarcastically remarked as soon as she had managed to get her hand to stop hurting. Mal and Uma lifted the giant roll of wire quickly, hauling it over to the fence as well as they could considering its weight.

“Says the girl who just dropped the whole roll when she got pricked,” Mal informed Uma, wincing as another barb was starting to stick into her a bit.

“You did the same thing!” Uma wheezed, speaking quickly as she helped Mal carry it.

“No, sir, we’re big girls. We can handle it!” Mal nasally copied Uma’s earlier statement as she shifted her grip just to get stabbed in a different place. Judging by Uma’s slight grunt, she must have been stabbed once again as well.

“You don’t got no room to talk. I didn’t see you jumping to go begging for the gloves,” Uma snarked as they continued to get stabbed by barbed wire.

Mal suddenly heard distant wailing, and she paused in her carrying, trying to listen.

“What’s the problem?” Uma asked, and Mal hesitantly returned to walking.

“Nothing. Just thought I heard something.”

“It’s probably Audrey having a fit because her princess eyes had to look upon horse kaka-poo,” Uma sniggered to herself.

“It sounded like Evie, actually,” Mal clarified, but after looking in the direction of the horse barn curiously, she returned to her work.

When they eventually reached the fence, the two dropped it quickly. They had stopped several times due to the painful jabs of the wire, and they hadn’t managed to get it very far. However, they had finally arrived, and they could stop to lick their wounds.

“There you two are. I’ve got Jane over there with the sheep already. I gave her the clippers and she should be shaving now,” George informed them as he pointed behind him at the tight corral where countless white bodies were standing.

“We got the wire,” Uma informed him, trying not to sound too out of breath as she subtly wiped her hands on her pants. Mal quickly recognized it as a technique to remove the bit of blood oozing from the many small cuts on her hands.

“So you did! Good work,” George praised, and Mal put her hands behind her back, wiping them on her pants as she tried out Uma’s method. It burned uncomfortably as the fabric touched it, but it was better than showing George that the wire kicked their butts.

“What do you say we get started on this fence, huh?” George started, getting his tools ready.

“But we do need to go get the posts, though,” George informed them, and Mal resisted the urge to groan aloud as she knew what was coming.

“We’ll go get them,” Uma offered, and Mal shot an unappreciative look toward the pirate captain.

“Are you girls sure?”

“Yeah. We can handle it,” Uma assured him.

“It’s over that way.”

The two headed over to the area where the posts were resting on the ground. Mal eyed Uma somewhat resentfully.

“We came here to work, but we don’t need to volunteer for extra,” Mal grumbled, and Uma snorted shortly as she started to lift a sizable post.

“Unlike you, your Queenliness, I like a little work. Plus, gotta build up these guns by the end of this week so I can show them off to prove to them dumb boys that I got my trouble’s worth out of this whole thing,” Uma told her, flexing an arm with a slight purse of her lips. Mal just laughed in response to the other girl.

“You are crazy,” Mal chuckled at her, lifting her pole as they headed back over to the fence.

“Girl, don’t sass-mouth me. You are looking at the future Miss Universe right here,” Uma informed Mal with a hint of joking in her tone as she lifted the pole a little higher to accentuate her point. Mal just rolled her eyes in response.

Before long, they had gotten all of the posts and were about to start building the fence.

However, there was a certain interruption that occurred before they could even begin.

There was a loud scream and Uma looked up, trying to pinpoint the location that it came from. She raised an eyebrow as she couldn’t figure out its origin. It did sound suspiciously like Jane, though.

“Huh. I thought I heard Jane,” Uma looked at Mal curiously, and Mal shrugged, not knowing where it had come from.

Then there was another scream that was getting perpetually closer. Uma raised her gaze once again, straightening as she spotted a sheep hurrying through the pen not too far from them. The screams seemed to be coming from the sheep. Uma furrowed her brow in bewildered confusion as Mal looked up in bafflement as well.

“What the-”

The sheep veered off to the left and it was then that Uma saw where the screams were really coming from. There was Jane hanging onto the sheep’s wool and body for dear life as it dragged her around the pasture in a full run.

“I did hear a Jane, I did, I did!” Uma cried with a short laugh as she watched Jane get dragged by the sheep.

George had gone inside to look for some more tools, so he wasn’t currently privy to this situation. So Mal and Uma had the pure enjoyment of seeing Jane clinging to the sheep as it carried her everywhere.

“Help! I need help catching it!” Jane cried, and Mal almost laughed after that statement.

“Pull up on it and swing your leg over!” Uma instructed loudly, trying to help the poor girl.

“I can’t!”

“Come on, it’s just like riding a ship across the churning waters! It’s just… You’re kind of straddling the ship in this situation!” Uma yelled, and Mal was cracking up at Uma’s crazy instructions. After a few more moments of this, Uma groaned.

“I gotta go help her,” Uma spoke her thoughts aloud as she took off toward the sheep, chasing the animal and Jane attached.

Mal allowed herself to laugh wholeheartedly at the ridiculous sight of Uma sprinting after a sheep and a skidding Jane, and she withdrew her phone quickly.

Mal turned her back to them and took a selfie with the unfolding scene behind her in the background.

If the boys wanted to see their failure and giving up, they’d have to think again. Because they were hanging on like Jane to a sheep on the run.


	6. Day One: Night

Mal sat down with a plop on the floor of the barn loft, the other girls changing into their nightclothes around her. However, Uma was nowhere to be seen.

Audrey was rushing through the process, grumbling resentfully the entire time as she reached for a container of lotion in her luggage and furiously rubbed her hands together. Mal didn’t know what was up with that, but she couldn’t bring herself to care.

Finally, to Mal’s surprise, there was a white, fuzzy face that popped up at the top of the ladder. She furrowed her brow as she watched a puppy materialize in the loft. Shortly following the puppy, Uma came up, her face in an ear-splitting grin as she eyed the runt of the litter that she had found.

Mal raised an eyebrow at the pirate as Uma picked up the puppy and rested on her sleeping bag, the roly poly pup resting next to her comfortably. Uma seemed happier than Mal had ever seen her openly display. It was also for purer reasons than Mal had ever seen.

Uma finally felt Mal looking at her as she buried her nose in the fluff covering the puppy’s head. Uma pulled away just enough to give Mal a slightly sheepish look.

“She found me,” Uma informed Mal in an attempt to think of an excuse for her bringing the puppy up with them.

“And?”

“And she wouldn’t let me climb the ladder,” Uma lamely finished before averting her eyes and focusing on the puppy before her instead of Mal.

Mal just rolled her eyes, entirely too tired and her hands entirely too sore to worry about Uma’s silly puppy business.

Evie ambled over to Mal, sliding down and plopping down next to her as she rested her head heavily on Mal’s shoulder.

Mal looked at Evie with a slight chuckle.

“So you’re back, huh?”

“You were right. I am not a strong and independent woman.”

“It’s okay, E, you are a strong and independent woman everywhere else in life,” Mal placatingly reassured the slightly older girl as she leaned her head against Evie’s lovingly. Evie just sighed, her sweet chocolate eyes moving up to meet Mal’s emerald ones.

“Don’t patronize me,” Evie pouted, and Mal reached her hand up, patting Evie’s cheek that was opposite to Mal as she tried to make the poor girl feel better.

“I would never dream of it,” Mal told her playfully seriously, and Evie smiled slightly as Mal reached out and took her hand. As soon as Mal’s hand met Evie’s, Evie winced in pain, trying to hide it the best that she could. However, Mal quickly noticed.

“Wait, what’s going on with your hands? They’re not as soft as usual,” Mal mentioned, taking Evie’s hand and turning it over. To her surprise, Evie’s hands were swollen horrendously with blisters on the heels of her palms and on her fingers and upper hands.

“Evie, what happened?”

“The shovel,” Evie admitted, and Audrey immediately stared at the bluenette.

“You weren’t supposed to tell them!” Audrey cried in a loud whisper, and Evie offered her a slightly apologetic glance, but mostly centered her attention upon the girl sitting next to her.

“It’s okay, E, look at my hands,” Mal extended her palm to Evie and Evie immediately furrowed her brow at the sight of Mal’s sore-covered hand.

“M! What happened?!”

“The barbed wire,” Mal simply replied, echoing the form that Evie had used with her answer just a moment ago.

“How?!” Evie questioned, focusing every inch of worry on Mal as she used both hands to grab Mal’s one hand.

“The barbs on the barbed wire,” Mal told her. “Some moron didn’t want to take the gloves that were offered to us.” Mal offered a slightly resentful glance to Uma, but Uma wasn’t paying any attention as she rubbed the puppy’s belly, fully enthralled with the dog.

“Wait… Gloves?!” Audrey cried, and Mal raised an eyebrow, nodding to the princess. Audrey’s mouth fell open wide as she considered what the faerie had said.

“Yeah, so what?” Mal questioned, letting her words string together a bit in the midst of her exhaustion. Audrey resisted the urge to growl in pure frustration as she looked at her hands.

“I could’ve prevented this from happening?!” Audrey screeched, and Uma finally looked up, getting in on the conversation finally as Audrey outstretched her hands to everyone, showing just how bad they looked. They were indeed worse than Evie’s, because somehow or another, Evie’s hands were incrementally tougher than Audrey’s.

“I put a fortune into the upkeep of these hands!”

“That’s a real shame, you know,” Uma replied, mostly just to get the other girl riled up. However, the puppy licked her chin, demanding her full attention. Uma giggled- actually giggled- before petting the puppy and running her fingers through her soft white hair.

“It is not! I am a princess, and my hands should be treated like they’re attached to a princess’s body!” Audrey announced, and Mal resisted the urge to laugh at Audrey’s ridiculousness.

“I also fell in horse poop today,” Evie informed the purple-haired girl. Mal lost all semblances of seriousness at that point, and she couldn’t help but snort in response to that.

“Good grief, E!”

“Yeah…

“So, I was right, huh, about the clothes?” Mal asked, enjoying the justification of her statement to Evie.

“Yeah… Regretfully so,” Evie affirmed begrudgingly.

“I rode a sheep today,” Jane piped up suddenly, and Evie shifted her gaze to the girl.

“Really?”

“Yeah. It didn’t go so well,” Jane informed her, reaching for her phone, which reminded Mal of what they hadn’t done that day.

“Crap, we’ve got to call one of the boys,” Mal brought to attention with a deep sigh, dreading the call already. After all, they didn’t send pictures with all of them in it at the same time. Instead, they had sent selfies of certain groups that had been together that day.

“Let’s hit Carlos. He’s not so judgmental,” Evie suggested, and Mal nodded willingly, honestly too exhausted to argue.

Mal started to call him on video chat, and before long, he picked up.

“ _Hey, how was your first day_?” Carlos immediately questioned, a slightly mischievous grin on his face as he asked them about their fun.

“Well, I thought I’d tell you to explain to everybody that we’re not able to take pictures together always. We’ve managed to get selfies of people in separate groups, but that’s all we’ve got for you,” Mal told him shortly.

“ _I saw them already. Is Jane okay_?” Carlos asked worriedly.

“Don’t worry, I’m okay! A little scraped on my knees, but I’m okay!” Jane told him loud enough so that he heard her from the distance that she was sitting.

“ _That’s good. And Evie_ ,” Carlos trailed off as he smiled at Evie wickedly. Evie looked at Mal with dread.

“ _I see that you’ve_ slipped _right into farm life_ ,” Carlos told her before laughing wholeheartedly. Evie just sighed, closing her eyes as she took in the horrible pun.

“E told me to call you because you’d be less judgmental, but I don’t think she really knew what she was talking about,” Mal told him with a roll of her eyes, knowing that the horse poop thing had to have embarrassed Evie terribly.

“ _Nah, I’m not judging. I’ve done some dumb stuff, too. So, show me some proof that you’re still at the farm, and I’ll let you off. You look awfully exhausted_ ,” Carlos commented, glancing pointedly at Evie. Mal nodded her head, and she suddenly realized that Evie was almost asleep on her shoulder.

Mal glanced around the room and looked at Uma with the puppy that seemed to have adopted her. Mal resisted the urge to laugh at the goofy look on Uma’s face as she played with the silly-looking pup.

“Will this work?” Mal questioned and angled the phone so that Carlos could see Uma and the visitor. Carlos laughed happily, marveling at the sight of Uma of all people falling in love with a dog.

“ _That is bewildering and adorable at the same time_ ,” Carlos said with a chuckle, and Mal shook her head tiredly.

“ _Well, I’ll go ahead and let you guys get to sleep. I love you, guys_ ,” Carlos expressed sweetly, and Evie and Mal replied tiredly yet lovingly before getting off the phone.

Mal crawled over to her sleeping bag, Evie close behind her, and they both collapsed on their respective sleeping bags. Uma quickly realized that she wouldn’t be able to keep the puppy up in the loft with her in case she fell down the ladder hole while Uma was asleep. So Uma very regretfully picked up the puppy, starting for the ladder as she descended it carefully.

She placed it on the ground unhappily, and the puppy was looking at her so confusedly and adorably that she couldn’t resist leaning down and taking its face in her hands before kissing its nose.

“You be a good girl. You can’t stay with me tonight. Go be with your family, okay?” Uma softly commanded, and the pup gazed at her with wide, sad eyes. Uma offered her one last pet before climbing back up the ladder. Despite her desire to do so, Uma didn’t look back down for fear of falling weak.

Mal watched as Uma climbed back up and headed for the sleeping bag next to Audrey’s. Audrey was already snuggled in and well on her way to being asleep. Jane was in her bag softly snoring.

Mal allowed her eyelids to slide closed. It had been a very hard day, and it was only the first one. She couldn’t help but really worry about how tomorrow was going to go. However, she was so tired that she really couldn’t bring herself to care that much.

She was just starting to lose all semblances of consciousness, dwelling upon that last thought of worry, when Evie suddenly jerked, bumping into her hard. Mal jumped in surprise, thrown off guard as she was yanked from sleep’s merciful hold.

“Wha? E? What’s going on?” Mal asked, turning over to look at the bluenette. Evie was completely frozen as she lay there not too far from Mal.

“I heard something,” Evie informed the faerie, immensely worried as she glanced about in the darkness. Mal sluggishly raked her gaze about the room but didn’t spot anything outside of the ordinary.

All was quiet for a few moments more, but then Mal heard the definitive sound of small pitter-pattering feet across the floor. She opened her eyes just barely and easily saw the whites of Evie’s eyes shining in the moonlight.

“Uma, you don’t think the puppy’s up here with us, do you?” Evie questioned, and Uma huffed as she shifted in her sleeping bag.

“That dog would have to dadgum sprout wings and fly to make it all the way up here,” Uma spoke mid-groan as she settled back down.

They returned to the comforts of silence. That is, until the skittering sound returned for yet another round.

“Okay, seriously, what is that?!” Evie cried, completely bewildered as her voice shook. Uma cleared her throat quietly and Mal heard her rustling a bit in her sleeping bag.

“If you want to know my honest opinion, I’m pretty sure it’s rats,” Uma expressed, and Mal immediately dreaded what was to come after that statement.

“Rats?! M, there’s rats! They might eat me!” Evie cried, scooting ever closer to Mal. The green-eyed girl sighed deeply, internally cursing Uma for suggesting that idea despite its trueness.

“Don’t worry, the most that it might do is crawl across your legs,” Uma reassured the bluenette and Mal could hear the smile in the pirate captain’s voice.

“Mal, I don’t want them to crawl across my legs! They carry diseases, you know!” Evie whined, growing increasingly hysterical and was almost pressed against Mal at this point.

“However, if there’s a lot of them and they’re hungry, they could take a nibble or two,” Uma continued thoughtfully, and Evie gasped immediately. Mal resisted the urge to growl as Uma kept stirring the pot.

“But it’s okay still. They don’t bite just any part of your body, so if you keep certain parts protected, you should be okay,” Uma informed Evie, and Mal felt Evie loosen ever so slightly. Evie raised her head up a bit, looking in Uma’s direction.

“So where should I watch?”

“Well, your calves, your cheeks, pretty much any part of your body that’s kind of fat,” Uma explained, and Evie gasped in pure horror, her body tucked snugly against Mal’s.

“If I were you, though, I’d watch my butt. The goose has already bitten it and tenderized it. It’s all downhill from here,” Uma recommended, and there was a definitive scream building in Evie’s throat as she wrapped her arms around Mal in a constricting grasp.

“E, she’s just trying to scare you,” Mal reassured her best friend as well as she could considering how ridiculously exhausted that she was right then.

“It’s working!” Evie’s voice wavered as she started to tremble. Mal sighed, closing her eyes and figuring that they all could worry with this in the morning.

The tiny footsteps sounded off a little nearer and Evie squeaked, trying to hold back an actual scream as she jumped. Mal sighed, never opening her eyes. However, she did open her eyes when another body slid into her sleeping bag with her.

“What are you doing?!” Mal asked, bewildered as she tried to understand what was going on. She looked to the side where Evie had just been and she pulled back a bit upon realizing that Evie was much closer, her nose almost touching Mal’s own.

Evie grinned widely, showing those perfect rows of glittering white teeth as she adoringly eyed Mal.

“Hi,” Evie simply greeted.

“Hello. Is there some reason you’re in my sleeping bag?” Mal replied, her eyes almost hurting to keep them open any longer. Evie’s warmth was permeating all of her body and making it very difficult to resist sleep.

“I need you to protect me.”

“You’re bigger than I am and older than I am. How am _I_ supposed to protect _you_?” Mal questioned but allowed Evie to wrap her arms around her tightly as Mal turned her back to the girl.

“Easy. You’re meaner than I am and more magical than I am,” Evie answered her.

“Wow. You think of me so highly,” Mal remarked dryly, and Evie snuggled closer against her.

“I do. I really do,” Evie sincerely spoke, and Mal smiled slightly, enjoying Evie’s closeness.

“Don’t worry. Nothing’s going to happen to you right here,” Mal reassuringly spoke, starting to drift off in the midst of her comfort as a result of the heat pouring off of Evie in waves.

Mal felt Evie’s muscles relaxing as she rested against her, and Mal was relieved that she had finally gotten her sister to calm down.

However, Uma just had to open her mouth.

“Hey, Evie?” Uma piped up suddenly after a moment.

“Yeah?” Evie questioned.

“If the rats are hungry, there’s no stopping them…”

“Mal!” Evie cried, completely freaked out.

“Uma…”


	7. Day Two: Morning

“What a beautiful morning,” Evie spoke, halfway to herself as everyone else started to slowly make their way down the ladder.

Evie was currently standing outside, wearing much more casual clothes but still keeping her fancy hat, as she gazed upon the slightly foggy air in the distance. The rays of the morning sun were caressing the horizon as she leaned against the barn doorway.

Evie simply took a deep breath, enjoying it all as the crisp breeze hit her face pleasantly.

However, she quickly was disturbed from her happy revelations when she heard a loud, offensive honk just next to her. Evie flinched, but looked at the goose standing next to her with a calculated expression.

“Hello, Elmer,” Evie conjured up her most elegant and slightly distasteful tone as she addressed the animal.

“I just wanted to formally inform you that you are not biting me today,” Evie told him, straightening as she stood firmly. The goose just tilted his head, looking at her strangely, but waddled away. Evie grinned victoriously as the other girls emerged from the barn.

“You are not talking to that goose again, are you?” Mal questioned, mid-yawn as she bumped into Evie just barely. Evie nodded, but caught herself quickly before she could look like a complete moron.

“No. I’m just setting forth the conditions of coexisting,” Evie explained herself nonchalantly, and Mal shrugged, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

Between Uma terrorizing and Evie reacting, Mal hadn’t got nearly enough sleep. And Mal liked sleep as almost as much as Evie liked to get her beauty rest.

They headed for the house, and before they had made it too far, a happy white bundle of fluffiness was romping over to them as fast as its pudgy legs could carry it. Uma’s eyes caught the movement, and her face illuminated in an enormous grin as she bent down.

“Hey, squirt! Come here!” Uma called sweetly, and the puppy slammed into her body, wiggling all over. Uma smiled at her lovingly, scratching her all over.

The other four stopped to look at the two for a moment, and Uma brought her gaze up to them hesitantly.

“Y’all go on in. I’ll be there in a sec,” Uma waved them away as she sat down on the grass, the puppy jumping on her and trying to lick her chin as best as it could. Uma just laughed wholeheartedly, enjoying the pup’s affection.

Once they entered the house, before they could even be seated, Audrey was once again elected for egg-collecting duty. Audrey barely resisted the urge to groan, but she headed out anyway, a little less terrified than last time.

“That’s a big butt rooster, but I can handle it,” Audrey reassured herself, trying to keep perfectly confident about the aspect of having to go in with the chickens again.

“I’m smart, beautiful, and competent. I’ve got this,” Audrey spoke, hesitantly rounding the edge of the shed as she headed for the fence attached.

“Now listen here, you-”

She reached the gate and to her immense surprise, all of the chickens were at the farthest side of the fence. Audrey looked at them with an eyebrow raised, but quickly a smile grew across her face.

“Huh. I’m tougher and scarier than I thought,” Audrey acknowledged proudly, her chest puffing up with her self-assurance.

Audrey effortlessly slipped through the gate and stopped to look at the chickens once again. The rooster was pacing around, looking thoroughly distressed as he made all sorts of weird noises. Audrey raised her head up proudly, knowing that she had officially evoked a sense of respect amongst the fowl. She then proudly marched for the inside of the shed.

“Those stupid chickens ought to be afraid. After all, I am a big, bad, mean-”

Audrey froze as two beady eyes looked at her from the nest box directly in front of her. She stuttered and stammered, gaping at the creature in front of her.

It was a snake, all glistening and black, and it was quite possibly the scariest thing she had ever seen. It was worse than the chickens. In fact, she wished two chickens were in the nest box.

It was as if it had entranced her, and she had lost all ability to move. She was positively petrified, but she still couldn’t make her limbs work with her mind’s desperate pleas.

The snake stuck its tongue out, tasting the air as it stared her down.

It was then that Audrey screamed, unable to move but perfectly able to use her mouth. She let loose, closing her eyes as her whole face scrunched in the effort.

“What’s going on?! AUDREY?!!!” Uma’s voice suddenly sounded off right behind her along with several small barks.

Uma was suddenly inside the shed with her, and Audrey turned toward her in the midst of her panic, breathing fast and heavy. Audrey almost hugged the pirate captain in her pure fear of the snake in the nest box.

“What’s wrong? Stop, look at me, okay?” Uma questioned, grabbing Audrey’s shoulders firmly as she looked her in the eye. Somehow, Uma’s intense stare managed to bring her back to Earth and ground her mind in a way that it hadn’t been as soon as she had first spotted the serpent. Her eyes were filled with an uncharacteristic fear and nervousness as well as care that Audrey was most certainly unaccustomed to from the pirate.

“There’s a snake, Uma, it’s a snake,” Audrey blubbered quickly, and Uma looked to the side in the direction of the nest boxes.

After a few moments, Uma started to chuckle, shaking her head as she resisted the urge to laugh fully.

“What are you laughing at?! It’s probably about to attack!” Audrey screeched, and Uma finally laughed fully, greatly enjoying the entire situation.

“Look, it’s gone. Your screaming must have scared it off,” Uma grinned widely, and Audrey blinked in confusion, her face still quite pale.

“Wha- it was going to eat me, Uma!”

“What did your snake look like?” Uma questioned and Audrey easily started to explain.

“It was huge- like at least ten feet long! And it was really black!” Audrey hysterically cried, getting herself worked up all over again, and Uma snorted at her as she nearly laughed.

“It was a chicken snake. And they’re harmless,” Uma informed the princess swiftly. Audrey just stood there gaping at the nest boxes as she tried to get herself together. Her face was still white, and it suddenly occurred to Uma what she should do while she had the opportunity.

Uma smiled wickedly as she threw and arm around the princess’s shoulders so that she was facing the doorway. Uma held up her phone and took a selfie of them before Audrey could protest, the nest box in the background.

“UMA!” Audrey screamed accusingly once it fully occurred to her what had happened, and Uma just laughed. Audrey huffed, reaching in the nest boxes and gathering the eggs hurriedly.

“You are a jerk! A jerk, I tell you!” Audrey screeched, and Uma cackled at her wholeheartedly.

“It isn’t a big deal. The snake wasn’t going to hurt you.”

“You didn’t see the look in its eyes!” Audrey proclaimed, and Uma just shook her head at the princess, trying to overcome her bout of mirth.

“Whatever you say,” Uma replied, much too self-satisfied for Audrey’s liking.

Audrey snatched the eggs swiftly and started out of the henhouse with Uma on her heels.

To her horror, the chickens were now gathered around, and she screamed, instinctually backing up quickly. She ran directly into Uma, elbowing her hard in the stomach, and the pirate grunted slightly with a chuckle.

“Calm down some, would you? You’re a menace!” Uma cried, holding her stomach where Audrey had accidentally jabbed her.

Audrey just made some half-screeching noise as she charged through the gate and around the puppy that was waiting patiently for Uma. Uma looked down at the chickens and then looked at the dog sitting there on the ground.

“Well. I guess she’s not into foul play,” Uma joked, chuckling in response to her statement. The puppy just looked at her adoringly, not understanding why it was funny but loving her all the same.

Once Uma and Audrey had made it back into the house, they got started eating breakfast before too long, and everyone was greatly enjoying the taste of fresh eggs and pancakes.

“These are excellent, Mrs. Anne,” Audrey complimented, trying her best to eat like a princess but mostly looking like a blowfish as she stuffed her face. Everyone offered enthusiastic nods and noises of affirmation as they barely had time to speak between bites.

“Oh, please, dear, just Anne,” the old woman waved away her formalities, but it was easy to see that the praise had made the elderly lady fill with pride.

“What are we doing today, George?” Evie questioned in that sweet manner, settling her brown eyes on the older man. He smiled at her kindly and took a sip of his orange juice before speaking.

“Well, I’ve got you some things to do this morning, but as for the afternoon, I’m not sure yet,” he informed them, and Evie smiled as he spoke, turning her attention to her cheese-covered eggs.

Uma was shoveling them in her mouth with an unmatched vigor, almost completely throwing away manners in her love of the food.

“So, what are we doing this morning?” Mal asked George, and he stroked his chin as he eyed her.

“Well, you’re going to be feeding and watering the cows,” he explained, and Mal nodded effortlessly, “Jane’s going to be caring for the sheep,” Jane’s eyes immediately widened in horror, “Evie’s going to slop the hogs,” Evie swallowed hard, her gaze shifting up to meet George’s, “and Uma’s going to be throwing the horses a few bales of hay and checking their shoes.”

Uma immediately choked, her eyes even wider than Jane’s could’ve ever begun to be, as she tried to regain some semblance of control over herself. Uma coughed hard, her eyes watering as she breathed heavily.

“Okay… Horses, huh?” Uma wheezed, trying to look significantly more nonchalant than she actually was feeling.

“Yeah. Is that a problem?” George questioned, furrowing his brow in worry. Uma was quick to negate his inquiry.

“No, no, of course not. It’s all good,” Uma offered a weak thumbs-up as she regained control of her breathing.

He just looked at her strangely but continued on in explaining to the girls about what they’d be doing and how to do it.

When they were through with breakfast, each girl headed their separate way. Audrey had remained inside to help Anne clean up breakfast’s remains. Uma looked at the other three girls nearby her and gave them a small two-fingered salute.

“Good luck, y’all,” Uma wished them kindly, and Evie offered her an oddly sympathetic smile. Uma was immediately on the defense, under the most distinct impression that the bluenette knew her secret.

“Good luck to you, too,” Evie sweetly reciprocated, and Mal looked between them quickly, confused as to what was going on.

Uma didn’t say any more, but started toward the horse fence. Nearby the barn, it was covered in dust and dirt on the ground, but as it expanded, it grew grassier. Uma took a deep breath, hoping that the horses wouldn’t show themselves any time soon as she reached the fence. She sighed deeply, pulling herself together.

She suddenly felt something scratching her leg, and she instinctively jumped in fear, almost yelping in the midst of her unnerved emotion.

Uma rammed into the fence and looked down at whatever had touched her leg, and she saw the puppy sitting there.

“Hey, tiny,” Uma greeted, ruffling the fur on its head as she let out a shaky breath of immense relief.

“I thought you were one of those giant horses,” Uma informed her, playfully rubbing her ears. The puppy tilted its head, and Uma smiled widely.

“You know, I always talked about wanting a sea pony, but a sea pony’s more like a seahorse, not a real, bonafide land horse,” Uma told the pup thoughtfully, raising her eyebrows as she looked down at it.

She just happily leaned into Uma’s touch, fully enjoying Uma’s petting and doting on her, despite the fact that she didn’t understand anything that the pirate was saying to her. After a few moments, Uma sighed heavily, knowing that she needed to get to work.

“Well, you go on. Don’t want those big ruffians scaring you, too,” Uma attempted to send her about her way, but the puppy sat down by the fence, not leaving but not advancing any further.

“Alright, sweetie. If you’re not leaving, then just stay put. I don’t want them running you over,” Uma pointed, her voice only having a hint of sternness to it.

The puppy just watched her adoringly, and Uma shook her head, turning toward the fence.

To her immense shock and horror, there were six horses approaching her corner of the fence curiously, their ears turned toward her as they listened to her talking so sweetly to the puppy.

Uma swallowed, suddenly feeling her mouth go very dry as her legs wanted nothing more than to take her away. They continued to get closer, and Uma had to steel every nerve left in her to make her remain still.

“Yo,” Uma finally mustered as a greeting, and they stopped, looking at her with interest.

“I’m just gonna feed you, nothing more, nothing less. But I am going to have to check your shoes, so bear with me there,” Uma chuckled nervously, freaking out as she tried to keep her cool.

She headed over to the small square hay bales and she pulled her pocketknife from her jeans, cutting the rope binding the bale as George had instructed. Uma lifted it, her muscles straining a bit with its weight.

Uma hesitantly approached the fence, and begrudgingly noticed that the horses had made their way over to the fence, their heads hanging over the top as they reached for the hay bale.

Uma clenched her teeth as she dropped it over the edge of the fence. Several of them started to eat it eagerly, but a few of them were still looking at her strangely.

Uma dropped another inside the fence after slicing the rope binding it together. The others that hadn’t started to chomp on the hay reached over and started to eat at it slowly, seemingly only waiting for her to drop their individual bale in.

“Okay… I guess I’ll check your shoes now,” Uma very hesitantly started to climb the fence. Her feet landed squarely on the dirt with a thud, and the horse nearest to her swung his head toward her slowly. Uma instinctually took a step back, her hands held up placatingly.

“Now, look here, we ain’t going to be getting any sort of ideas, okay?” Uma checked, and it sluggishly turned back to the hay. Uma let out a breath of relief before reaching out for a hoof as George had so easily instructed.

She took hold of it, getting in the proper position to examine it.

“If you kick me in the face, I’m going to be really ticked,” Uma nervously explained, but everything seemed to be fine as she looked it over.

“Okay. You’re all good, I think,” Uma spoke, but she jumped at the feel of a nibble at the back of her leg.

“Woah, woah! We’re getting invasive here!” Uma laughed anxiously, but her eyes went wide as the horse turned and started toward her slowly.

Uma’s eyes widened as she backed away as quickly as she could manage.

“Stop now, we ain’t starting this business. You feel me?” Uma checked, but the horse sped up slightly to a trot as it moved toward her. Uma fled a bit faster, and the horse sped up, trying to reach her.

“Stop that! STOP!” Uma cried, but quickly gave up any semblances of dignity as she took off as fast as she could for the nearest fence that she could jump.

“DANGIT!!!”

With Evie, things were about to get hectic as well.

Once she had parted ways with Jane and Mal, Evie had headed toward the hog enclosure to give them their slop.

Evie was mostly happy with this job. She’d take it over mucking stalls any day. Except for the fact that the slop stunk terribly, and she honestly didn’t know what animal in its right mind would eat something that smelled so bad.

Evie approached the hog pen, and she looked in the direction of the cow fence in hopes of spotting Mal. To her happiness, she spotted her best friend from afar, filling the cow’s trough with fresh water, and Evie waved in the stereotypical Miss Auradon manner just to get a laugh out of the other girl. Mal did laugh, and Evie offered her a huge grin in response, opening the lid on her slop container.

As soon as the fresh scent of gross, mixed food hit her nose, Evie almost gagged. It was ten times more gross than she had anticipated, and it was all that she could muster to keep her stomach in its proper place.

“Sooie, pig, pig, pig!” Evie called, recollecting just how the old western stars had done it in the movies that she had forced Mal to watch with her. She clapped her hands a few times, trying to get their attention as she started to pour the slop down into their trough.

They all came hurrying over, making all sorts of grunting noises, and Evie jumped backward away from the fence quickly as soon as all of the contents of her bucket were emptied. She wrinkled her nose in disgust as she looked upon the nasty creatures.

“You are so revolting,” Evie muttered underneath her breath as she watched them eat in a manner akin to rabid pack animals.

“I can see how it’s been proven that you’d eat a human,” Evie pointed out, covering her nose and mouth with a hand as she tried to keep the stench of pig poop mixed with the disgusting food out of her nose.

“Ugh… I might as well make something useful of this and take a selfie for the boys,” Evie spoke to herself, pulling out her phone and holding it up with the pigs in the background.

However, before she could press the button, she felt a hard pinch on her behind, and she immediately knew what had happened.

“You booty-biting, biscuit-eating, honkin’ tonkin’, turd-bird hoodlum!!!” Evie screamed at the top of her lungs, hopping up and down in her fury as the goose hurried away, honking in a way that seemed as if it were laughing at her. Worst of all, Mal actually was laughing at her, bent over in pure mirth as she watched Evie throwing a fit there in the yard.

Evie huffed angrily as her nostrils flared. That goose was too much for her, and she had enough.

Meanwhile, Jane was peacefully working with the sheep, actually enjoying her time with them even though one of them had taken her on a wild ride the previous day.

She was calmly filling their feed trough when she suddenly heard the greatest amount of racket that had ever met her ears. Jane turned and she spotted Uma running as fast as she could to get away from a horse that was galloping behind her.

Jane raised an eyebrow before turning and taking a quick selfie just as Uma was vaulting the fence.

The boys were certainly going to have some interesting material for this morning’s report.


	8. Day Two: Afternoon

Once the girls had finished their duties with the animals, they all met up at the farmhouse where they found Audrey sitting at the kitchen table and talking to Anne.

“And Miss Princess is just sitting in here all pretty. Isn’t that fine living?” Uma sarcastically acknowledged as she spun a chair toward her and straddled it as she faced the others at the table.

The other three slid down into their seats more gracefully and properly than Uma had, and they looked at Anne and Audrey expectantly.

“Well, I’ve found something that you girls can do,” Anne informed them with a kindly smile gracing her wrinkled features. Evie tilted her head, listening sweetly as she eyed the old woman. Uma just raised an eyebrow, keeping her gaze firmly on Audrey. Audrey just returned her gaze with just as much unimpressed emotion.

“What would that be?” Mal questioned with what she hoped was a smile that complimented Evie’s natural bubbly lovingness.

“I need you five to head out to town and get me a few things in the store,” Anne told them, and it was then that Mal noticed the piece of paper in Audrey’s grasp.

“I’ve given Audrey the list,” the old woman said with a gentle pat to Audrey’s shoulder, and Audrey looked at her fondly.

“Make sure that when you get to the end of the driveway, you turn left and keep going straight. You’ll see the town before too long. It’s really traditional, and I think y’all will like it,” the elderly lady explained to them, and Evie’s eyes lit up in excitement. Mal turned her gaze to the bluenette with a slight smile, enjoying Evie’s presumable romanticism of a place that was likely not nearly as traditional as Evie was imagining.

Audrey grinned widely at all of them, and Uma just glared at the pink princess with a complete lack of any appreciation. She was still angry with the fact that Audrey had stayed inside with the cushy job while Uma was outside running for her life from a crazy horse that wanted to chew her up and spit her out.

Mal finally sighed, and Evie supposed that the purple-haired girl had recognized the tension in the room.

“Well, let’s go, girls,” Mal announced after a moment of rest, and they all started to get up from the table and head outside.

They all headed over for Charlene, and they got in their traditional seats as Evie cranked the car. Everyone clasped their seatbelts at Evie’s instruction, and got themselves situated for the ride ahead, despite how short it would likely be.

Mal, Audrey, and Uma were deathly quiet as Evie started up the driveway. Evie glanced at them strangely but didn’t say anything. However, when the silence persisted, Evie finally had to ask when she stopped at the end of the driveway.

“What is going on with you girls?” Evie questioned with a slight bewildered laugh, gazing at her best friend, the pink princess, and the pirate.

“We were just scared you’d start up ‘Delta Dawn,’” Uma chuckled sincerely, and Evie immediately rolled her eyes, a big grin coming onto her face as she turned left in the direction that Anne had said the town would be in.

“Oh, I think I’ve learned my lesson about all that authentic, traditional country stuff,” Evie emphasized to the group, and they continued on about their driving for a little while longer.

However, the pavement suddenly transitioned into dirt road as they approached the very beginnings of town, and Evie almost squealed as she took in the little area’s appearance.

Mal’s jaw went slack as she gaped at it. The town looked just like it came out of one of those traditional Westerns, with dust roads all around. There was a general store, a feed store, and a little white church some distance away.

And as Mal looked at Evie, she knew that Evie hadn’t given up all that “authentic, traditional country stuff.” Evie’s face was currently lit up with the biggest smile Mal had seen on her face in a while as her eyes sparkled with wonder, looking at all of the fascinating history lying in the very logs that made up each of the buildings they passed.

“It is magical!” Evie breathed, mesmerized by it all as she looked from one store to another. Evie finally parked not too far from the general store, and they got out of the car carefully.

There were people sitting on benches at the front of stores, talking and relaxing as they stuck out the heat of the day.

Evie grinned widely and she suddenly gasped as her gaze fell upon one particular place.

“M! M, look!!!” Evie cried, grabbing Mal’s arm tightly as soon as she had come around the car. Mal almost fell into Evie as the bluenette put in an unexpected amount of force.

“What, E?” Mal questioned, and Evie excitedly pointed to a particular building on the other side of the road. Mal squinted, furrowing her brow as she tried to make it out through the bright sunlight. Evie tightened her hold on Mal’s arm, and after looking both ways, crossed the road so they could get a better look at the place. Uma, Audrey, and Jane shared a glance but shrugged as they followed the two.

“Evie, seriously,” Mal simply spoke, and Evie grinned widely, looking out from underneath the brim of her cowgirl hat.

“Seriously,” Evie replied shortly, and Mal shook her head as the other three caught up to them.

“What are you doing, Evie?” Jane asked, and Evie turned to her with a flourish, gesturing at the place with a raise of her arms. Jane looked at it and her eyes went wide as her gaze settled upon an old-fashioned bar of all things. Uma just raised an eyebrow, the barest hints of a smirk starting to twist at the corners of her lips. Audrey pursed her lips, obviously not appreciating Evie’s find.

“It’s a saloon!” Evie called out happily as if it were obvious. Audrey moved her head in an agreeing movement that communicated just how obvious the princess thought that statement was, and Uma just chuckled at the bluenette.

“It’s a bar, Evie,” Mal tried desperately to interject and reason with the other girl.

“No, a saloon.”

“It’s the same thing!” Mal attempted to get through, and Evie bit her bottom lip as it all flew over her head. Once Evie set her mind to something, there was no stopping her. Mal knew the resistance was futile, but she figured she’d at least try to ward Evie away from it. After all, she could always use the “I Told You So” trick afterward. Not that she really had the heart to do so.

“They’ve got the swingy doors and everything,” Evie almost squealed as she pushed experimentally on a door. Mal rolled her eyes, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Well, if you go in there, there’s two rules: no drinking iced tea, and don’t get into a bar fight,” Uma informed her with a grin, and it was then that Mal realized the pirate wanted Evie to go inside.

“Oh, I’ve learned my lesson about iced tea. Iced tea is bad. Rootin’ tootin’ shootin’ bad,” Evie’s voice started to slowly evolve into more of a country drawl as she gazed at the girls from underneath her hat.

“Why are you talking like that? Stop, just stop right now,” Mal commanded, but Evie just looped her thumbs around the belt holding up her jeans. Mal closed her eyes, knowing that Evie wasn’t going to give up that easy.

“Take it easy there, pardner,” Evie overexaggerated, and Mal reopened her eyes to look at Evie tiredly. “I ain’t gonna be gettin’ no booze.”

“You sound like you’ve already had a few,” Uma couldn’t help but unhelpfully pipe up. Evie just looked at her with a half-lidded gaze, and Uma held her stare firmly with a wicked smirk.

“Welp, I reckon I’m gonna be goin’ on in yonder for a lil’ somethin’ to wet my whistler,” Evie took one hand away from her belt to tip her hat to the others.

“Please, don’t do it. You are not going in there and getting drunk.”

“Oh, I’m not going to get drunk! I’m going to show them I’m a real authentic cowgirl,” Evie stage-whispered in her normal voice before returning to her country sound.

“You ladies comin’ in with me?” Evie questioned, and Mal shook her head, trying to emphasize some semblances of firmness with her sister.

“No, we aren’t, and you’re not going in either,” Mal informed her, hanging onto Evie’s arm firmly.

“Yes, ‘fraid I am,” Evie shook her hand off, and started through the saloon doors.

“Evie, no.”

“Evie, yes!”

So Evie strode through the saloon doors, pushing them out of her way as she entered.

“Howdy, cowpokes!” Evie greeted, and Mal shared a positively mortified glance with Audrey.

Everyone stopped what they were doing to turn and stare at the bluenette with eyebrow raises, squints, and overall general confusion about Evie’s ultimate goal here.

Evie swallowed and steeled her nerves. After all, she wanted to experience real country living and be a real cowgirl. Only now, she was starting to question why she had actually thought it would be a good idea. However, she could feel Mal’s firm stare on her back, so she knew she couldn’t give up now. Besides, she wanted to fit in with these country folks and enjoy a real saloon experience.

Evie stepped in a bit further, trying to look country as she felt this sudden doubt gripping her.

They all kept their eyes on her, and Evie offered a grin, tipping her hat kindly.

“I rode here all the way from Beast’s castle, and boy, Heidi, is my rear end sore,” Evie tried to joke, but no one seemed to find it funny. However, Evie pushed right through the stale atmosphere, stepping up confidently to the bar where a mustachioed man was polishing a cup.

“Howdy, sir, I’d rightly enjoy me a cold one,” Evie confidently spoke, and from her position at the door, Mal slapped her face with a hand. Uma resisted the urge to laugh, and Mal looked over at the pirate.

“Should I go get her out of there?”

“No, no, I wanna see what happens next!” Uma cackled finally, and Audrey looked like she was about to melt on the spot from pure embarrassment and humiliation at being associated with Evie.

“The good part about it is that if she gets a cold one, we’re in her car instead of mine!” Uma joyfully announced, a huge smile on her face, and Mal rolled her eyes, returning her gaze to the girl inside.

“A beer, ma’am?” the bartender asked finally, an eyebrow raised as his lips twitched in a valiant effort to keep from laughing at her over-eccentric antics.

“No, no, no! Not that! How did you get that- I mean,” Evie caught herself, trying to regain her cool in the midst of her total shock at how the man had interpreted her words, “I’d like me a mighty cold water.”

He nodded with a slight raise of his eyebrows, and Evie turned toward the piano player, listening to his music as it started to pick back up since the novelty of Evie’s weirdness was starting to wear off.

“That there’s some purdy music you’re a playin’,” Evie complimented, and he didn’t offer any sort of reply outside of a sideways glance thrown her way.

Evie swallowed, recollecting her nerve as she started to say something else.

However, before she could get very far, this giant woman sitting nearby snapped at her.

“Sit your butt down and quit trying to act like you’re country. You don’t sound country,” the woman told her, and Evie visibly recoiled.

“Well, if I don’t sound country, then what do I sound like?” Evie questioned, trying to keep her country accent but somewhat failing as she looked at the sizeable woman staring at her.

“You sound like a hillbilly drunk come stumblin’ in from the mountains,” the woman deadpanned, and her group started to laugh. Evie furrowed her brow, tilting her head as she looked at them.

“Well, that’s not very nice,” Evie informed her shortly, and the woman just laughed at her harder.

“Wake up to the real world, cowgirl princess,” the woman cruelly shot at her, and Evie breathed out of her nose.

“Some of us could really afford some manners,” Evie murmured underneath her breath as she took a sip of the glass of water that had been placed next to her.

The woman quickly sobered, standing up as she approached Evie. Mal furrowed her brow, and she caught Uma in her peripheral vision straightening a bit as they got on guard, ready to interfere if necessary.

The woman stood there, looming over Evie as she breathed down on her. Evie just looked at her, trying to avoid running out the door as fast as she could.

“Are you sassin’ me?” she demanded and a bit of spittle flew from her mouth and hit Evie’s face.

“No, ma’am. But you might want to swallow when you’re speaking to someone at this close of a distance,” Evie politely informed her with a smile, and the woman’s eyes immediately turned to pure rage as she held back her fist to punch Evie in the face. Mal and Uma burst through the saloon doors at that moment, but before they knew what was going on, everyone was punching each other and there was a full-on barfight erupted.

Uma and Mal looked at each other, and Mal’s eyes widened as Uma suddenly shoved her toward the saloon doors. She quickly realized that someone was about to punch her, and Uma had just saved her from the hit. Uma dodged another swing and shouldered her way out the saloon doors, pulling Mal out with her.

“Stop, Evie’s in there!” Mal cried, and Uma shook her head, keeping an arm in front of the young Queen. The pirate steeled herself, starting toward the door with the full intent to punch her way through until she found the blueberry.

“I’m coming with you,” Mal told her firmly, and Uma eyed her for a moment before nodding. They both ran back in, trying to push through and dodge the fighting as they searched for Evie.

Jane was just pacing outside the doors, freaking out as her mind flew to her mother.

“What will Mom think?! If she ever finds out I was on the doorstep of a saloon and that one of my best friends started it, she’d kill me!” Jane whimpered, and Audrey sympathetically patted her on the back as she passed by.

Audrey was nervous, and she felt a building pit of dread in her stomach as Uma and Mal didn’t come out for a minute.

Finally, Mal burst through the door, Uma close behind her, and both of them looking worse for the wear.

“Well, where is she?!” Audrey cried, and Mal shook her head, trying to collect her breath as she looked back through the saloon doors longingly. Uma shook her head as she leaned down, grasping the knees of her jeans.

“It’s madness in there.”

“We’re going back in,” Mal declared, and Uma shook her head with a deep breath. However, before they could even open the saloon doors, there was someone crawling out from underneath them.

Mal reeled as she watched her best friend clamber from under the saloon doors, looking terribly dazed and confused, but not injured in the least. Her hat was skewered to the side, and her hair was mussed all around her head.

“I guess they don’t like country folks,” Evie stammered a bit, and Mal laughed with pure relief as she grabbed one of Evie’s arms. Uma took the other one, and between them both, they managed to successfully pull Evie out from under the door. They sat her down on the bench, and Mal grabbed Evie’s face in her hands to check for any injuries.

“Are you okay? Did she punch you?”

“No, I ducked, and she punched the bartender. Another guy came running toward her after that, and then everything fell to pandemonium,” Evie informed her, trying to focus on Mal as she had a dopey look on her face.

“Thank goodness you’re alright. You are a mess, Evie,” Audrey proclaimed, running over and straightening the girl’s hair and hat. Evie just giggled, and Mal plopped down next to the bluenette, leaning her head on Evie’s shoulder.

“Don’t scare people like that,” Mal commanded gently, and Evie nodded her head, closing her eyes with a slight smile of relief.

“Selfie time!” Uma cried suddenly, and Mal looked up just as Uma had taken a picture with Audrey and Jane next to her and Evie and Mal in the background on the bench.

Mal’s eyes narrowed, and she stood up, taking off after the pirate. Uma ran from her as fast as she could, her adrenaline from earlier pushing her forward as she cackled at Mal’s expense.

“UMA!”

“I guess we’re about to have a barfight out here,” Evie joked, and Audrey just shook her head, resting a hand on Evie’s shoulder.

It had certainly been a heck of an afternoon.


	9. Day Two: Night

“I’m telling you, this is wholesome and healthy for the soul. At least, when Mama Octopus isn’t trying to force you to do it,” Uma explained as she stepped through the sheared grass of the pasture.

After Evie’s whole saloon issue, the girls at some point had managed to find everything on Anne’s list at the general store. It was nearly evening when they managed to get back after Evie dragged them to several different stores just to look.

Once they had gotten back, George and Anne had informed them that they were going to have fish for dinner, and that the girls needed to go and catch them in the pond that was in the cow pasture.

At this point, they were treading through the cow pasture at dusk, dodging piles of cow waste with their fishing poles swung over their shoulders.

“All I can see is the cow poop around me, so I’m sorry I haven’t slowed down and seen the wholesome in this. And I don’t see how you’re seeing the wholesome in it solely because of your Mama Octopus,” Audrey sarcastically remarked. Uma just rolled her eyes and she stepped over another pile, avoiding it just barely. Mal huffed at Audrey and tried to stick close to Evie’s trail since the brown-eyed girl had not yet stepped in the poop.

“I think it’s cool that we’re hunting for our food. It shows the boys that we can be outdoorsy,” Evie informed them all, and Audrey just raised an eyebrow as she looked up at the bluenette.

“Did you suffer a few more knocks to the head than we thought? All this shows is that we’re behaving like some kind of savage creatures!” Audrey nigh hysterically informed them, and Uma resisted the urge to groan at the whining girl.

“You could go back to the house, you know,” Uma told her, and Audrey threw a longing gaze toward the warmly lit farmhouse.

“Well… Would anybody judge if I did?”

Everyone offered her various forms of agreement, and the pink princess sighed, unimpressed as she dodged another pile of crap.

“Honestly, how much do these things poop?!” Audrey cried and Mal shrugged. Uma immediately got an enormous grin on her face as she looked back at the princess.

“I don’t know. They must be full of it. You ought to be right at home, then,” Uma jabbed, and Audrey just stewed silently as they started to climb a small hill.

Evie clambered up to the top first, quickly followed by Mal and Uma, and they all looked down upon the sight of the pond below.

“Wow. It’s bigger than I thought it’d be,” Mal trailed off, and Uma shrugged.

“It ain’t no biggie,” Uma blew off Mal’s oddly concerned tone. Evie, however, paused beside Mal as she gazed at her carefully. Evie leaned over so that her lips were nearby Mal’s ear.

“Are you sure you’re good to go?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine,” Mal assured her, and the group started down the hill behind Uma.

“Yes, baby! There are boats,” Uma announced once they had descended the hill. Mal’s eyes went wide as she immediately realized what was implied that they’d have to do. She stopped abruptly, and Evie wrapped an arm around her as she tried to subtly comfort Mal and cover up the fact that the other girl had stopped.

“Alright, you, Evie, and Jane get in the bigger boat, and me and Audrey can get in this smaller one,” Uma explained to Mal, gesturing over to a boat. Uma stepped off the small dock, pulling out the container of worms that she had. Audrey followed her, grumbling all the way about fishing, and Jane took a container of worms and sat in the bigger boat.

Mal was too stuck on the fact that they were going to have to get in a body of water that had a depth that was likely over her head. Evie was just standing there, her head leaned near Mal’s as she tried to talk Mal through the mental barrier.

“You’re going to be okay. It’s fine. It’s just water. You drink it every day,” Evie assured her, and Mal barely blinked as she stared at the ripples in the liquid.

“You trust me, don’t you?” Evie questioned and stepped to the front of Mal, taking Mal’s hands and holding them firmly as she pressed her nose against the shorter girl’s in an attempt to gain Mal’s undivided attention.

“Yes,” Mal immediately replied, not a hint of hesitation in her tone as she answered Evie. Evie allowed that to bring a slight smile on her face, and she squeezed Mal’s hands, reassuring her in that way that was solely Evie.

“If you manage to end up in the water, I’ll jump in and help you,” Evie assured the faerie, entirely serious, and Mal couldn’t help but giggle nervously at Evie.

“How are you going to do that? You don’t know how to swim either.”

“Maybe not, but I have grace and physics on my side,” Evie informed her confidently, and Evie stepped to her side, wrapping an arm around Mal’s waist as they slowly strolled toward the boat.

“Physics maybe, but grace? I’m not so sure.”

“I am graceful,” Evie ploughed right through Mal’s suggestion that Evie could be clumsy.

“Okay, do you remember when you tripped up the stairs?”

“That’s because I wasn’t thinking of physics. Physics doesn’t support falling up,” Evie informed her playfully, and Mal’s mind was starting to drift from the fact that Evie was actually stepping into the boat in favor of engaging in a silly bantering argument with her best friend.

Mal paused as soon as Evie started to gently guide her into the boat. Mal looked down at the water fearfully, but brought her gaze back to Evie after the bluenette squeezed her hand. Mal took a deep breath before exhaling slowly, stepping into the boat carefully.

It rocked underneath her movement, and she immediately clung to Evie’s arms with her hands tightly. Evie nodded to her reassuringly, and Mal returned the gesture as they slowly sat down on the wooden seats of the little boat.

“Well, physics says I’ll sink like a rock,” Mal spoke after a bit of a silence, and Evie just laughed, which was a very nice sound to hear considering that Mal was absolutely terrified at this point.

“No, physics says that the human body has natural buoyancy,” Evie emphasized, and she made sure to avoid adding the minor technicalities involving the depth of the water as well as someone’s density.

“I’m physically a rock,” Mal persisted shortly. Evie just giggled at her ridiculousness, trying to take away the nervousness from the other girl as she reached for an oar and handed Jane one as well.

Evie just shook her head as they started to row, trying their best not to disrupt the boat’s movement too much and scare Mal.

Audrey and Uma had started to row as well, and Mal tried her best not to look in their direction or in any direction besides that of her sister’s. She was currently so bewildered that she didn’t want to see anything that related to water, despite the fact that she was on a boat of all things.

“Alright, y’all, row out to the middle,” Uma spoke, her voice hushed as she paddled along. Audrey was grumbling and mumbling the entire time, but she was rowing, which Uma considered a good sign. After all, they all had to be into activities so that the boys didn’t declare them to be going against the bet.

Both boats ended up in the middle of the water, Uma and Audrey’s some distance away from Mal, Evie, and Jane’s.

“Now, hook the worms on your poles,” Uma informed them carefully, and Mal couldn’t resist throwing a slight barb in Uma’s direction, largely due to her immense nervousness.

“Who made you Queen Fisherman?” Mal questioned, and Uma just shook her head, choosing to focus on the task at hand over Mal’s antagonizing.

Evie just shook her head at the two, wrinkling her nose as she tried to work up the nerve to take a worm from the container. She reached toward a big, fat, juicy one, but she could quite convince herself to grab it. Mal watched her struggle for a few moments before grabbing it and hooking it on Evie’s pole carefully.

Evie shot her a grateful glance, and she stood up, trying to figure out how to cast it out. She furrowed her brow, turning to look at Uma as she kept herself as still as possible so that it wouldn’t scare Mal to death.

“How do I cast?” Evie questioned, and Uma looked up from her examination of the fishing pole to instruct Evie.

“Hold down on that button by your thumb, pull back, and when you sling it forward, you let go of the button so the line will fly,” Uma informed her, and Evie nodded, offering Uma a thumbs-up.

“Cool!” Evie grinned widely before sticking her tongue out just barely as she cast out. She watched the line soar, smiling widely as it landed in an area to the right of their boat.

Evie looked at Mal, proud of herself for her success, and Mal smiled at her fondly.

“Keep the line taut. Reel it in a little,” Uma instructed, and Evie complied easily, quickly learning Uma’s teachings. Uma grinned at Evie’s success, and she handed the container of worms to Audrey.

“EW! I am not touching that slimy, wiggly worm!” Audrey immediately announced, and Uma resisted the urge to groan as she caught Audrey’s dangling line in her hand. She took a worm from the container and she hooked it onto the end of the pole.

“Did it just squirt juice out?!” Audrey cried, and Uma rolled her eyes, her hand still on Audrey’s line as she moved it so that it was near Audrey’s face.

“I don’t know, take a look for yourself!” Uma laughed wickedly, and Audrey drew back, having a fit in the boat as it moved backward a bit in the water.

Uma eventually took it away from her face and let it dangle as she stood up, ready to cast her line. However, she tripped a bit on her seat as she positioned herself, and the boat rocked a bit.

To catch her balance, she stepped a little hard on the side of the boat as she kept from falling in. She honestly didn’t care if she was in the water, but she’d rather walk into it on her own terms than fall in and look like a complete moron.

Naturally, this step caused the boat to rock harder.

“Stop doing that!” Audrey cried suddenly, and Uma stopped, looking at her as she realized exactly what the girl was talking about. Obviously, the rocking was bothering the princess.

“What? This?” Uma raised an eyebrow, rocking the boat experimentally. Audrey immediately clung onto the sides of the boat, trying to steady it.

“Yes, that!” Audrey screeched, and Uma huffed out of her nose.

Ever since Audrey stayed in the house that morning and didn’t even offer to help one of them with their outside chores, Uma had been on the lookout for a way to hand out payback to the princess. Uma subtly looked at the water surrounding them, and she knew that she had found her way to give that prissy princess what she deserved.

Uma’s face lit up in the beginnings of a grin as she shook the boat back and forth, steadily turning it more and more.

“You mean like this?” Uma asked with a growing smile as Audrey fought to keep the boat as steady as possible.

“Stop! Stop it!” Audrey cried, but Uma just kept rocking the boat.

Mal, Evie, and Jane were just watching the two throughout all of this, and Evie furrowed her brow disapprovingly as she eyed the two, knowing where Uma was going with this.

“Uma, we’re out here to fish, not to throw Audrey in the water!” Evie called, but Uma didn’t listen in the least, instead moving it even harder.

“Quit! Just quit now!” Audrey screeched, her whining becoming even louder the closer that the boat came to turning over in the water.

“Stop!” Audrey yelled as the boat almost tipped over completely in the midst of Uma’s rocking.

Evie suddenly felt an enormous tug on her fishing pole, and she jerked forward, nearly falling in the water. She regained her footing firmly, and she pulled against the fish, trying to keep a hold on the fishing pole.

Mal’s eyes widened and she put her pole down in favor of grabbing onto Evie tightly, trying to keep her in the boat with them. Evie almost flew into the water once again, even with Mal hanging onto her. Jane dropped her pole and held onto Mal’s waist firmly as she helped the faerie.

“Evie! Reel it in!” Mal cried in a panic, and Evie moved her hand quickly, pulling at the fish as it yanked against her as hard as it could manage.

Audrey and Uma were too absorbed in their current engagement to pay any attention to the others’ struggles.

Uma shoved with a mighty tug, leaning with it, and Audrey’s scream illuminated the evening as the boat finally tipped over, dumping the two girls in it.

Audrey rematerialized beside the boat’s overturned form, breathing hard as she spluttered in an attempt to get pond water out of her mouth. Her hair was hanging around her, and she coughed violently as she started to screech at Uma.

“You are horrible! You evil, terrible, wicked person!” Audrey screeched, smacking the water in her pure anger as she pumped her feet to keep afloat.

However, after a moment, she realized Uma wasn’t with her and she quieted a bit, her eyes going wide with worry. It was then that it was silent enough for her to hear Evie, Mal, and Jane’s struggle. She turned in the water, watching as all three of them pulled at the line.

Her eyes went wide as she watched them drag a fish bigger than any that she had ever seen into their boat.

But before she could concentrate on that, she felt a sharp tug at her leg trying to drag her under. She screamed, trying to remain above water level.

“It’s got me! IT’S GOT ME!!!” Audrey screamed, and just as her head was about to go under, Uma suddenly materialized next to her, shaking the water from her head and wiping her eyes as she laughed.

“I got you, alright,” Uma pointed out with a laugh, and Audrey immediately started to throw a fit, sloshing water all over Uma as she headed for shore. Uma laughed, blocking the water with her hand as she followed the princess.

Evie, Mal, and Jane were sitting in their boat, gaping at the sizeable fish that they had caught.

“Wow. It’s enormous,” Jane breathed.

“I’m an excellent fisherwoman!” Evie announced proudly, but immediately screeched and jumped back against Mal as the fish flopped on their boat.

Mal giggled breathlessly and held onto Evie as she looked to see what Uma and Audrey were doing. She watched as Audrey approached closer to shore, their boat turned over, and Uma pulling the said boat behind her as she followed Audrey, a giant smile on her face.

Evie followed her gaze and shook her head at the sight of Uma and Audrey. She pulled her phone from her pocket and positioned her camera’s focus on the fish. She made sure that her, Mal, and Jane’s feet were in the shot, and she took the picture quickly. Mal grinned at her tiredly, resting her chin on Evie’s shoulder from behind.

“Good job, E.”

“It was us,” Evie correct her. “Good job, us.”

Suddenly, Audrey started screaming louder than they had heard her the entire time they were out. The three turned around and spotted the princess just standing there on the shore, screeching, and Uma was laughing at her.

Evie sighed, reaching for an oar, and her and Jane rowed them back to the dock as they went to see what was wrong with Audrey now.

They pulled up to the dock, and Audrey was making all sorts of noises of panic and disgust. Evie stepped out first, taking Mal’s hand and pulling her out. As soon as Mal’s feet touched the wood of the dock, she almost felt like kissing the ground.

Evie headed over to Jane and Audrey, and she immediately spotted the positively disgusting creatures attached to Audrey’s legs. Evie shook her head, wincing as she hurried over to help.

“This is all your fault, Uma! I HAVE LEECHES!!!!” Audrey screeched, and Evie knelt down beside her. She hesitantly reached over to one and swallowed hard before plucking it from Audrey’s skin. Once she got started, Evie pulled several more of them off, Mal and Jane approaching her from behind.

Once Evie had pulled them all off, blood was streaming down Audrey’s legs from the little holes worn into her from the leeches’ feeding.

“This is disgusting!” Audrey screamed, stomping over to the grass and heading up the hill, yelling complaints all the way.

Uma chuckled at her, shaking her head as Audrey stopped at the top of the hill to examine her legs closer.

“Look what we got, Uma!” Evie exclaimed, grabbing Uma’s dripping wet arm and pulling her over to look in the boat.

Uma’s eyes went wide as she gaped at the fish in the boat.

“Holy crap! That is frickin’ enormous!” Uma cried, a huge smile on her face as she reached down and grabbed the fish carefully.

“AAAAHHHHH!!!!! DANGED COWS!!!!” Audrey’s voice suddenly sounded off from up the hill, and everyone looked at each other, knowing that the princess had stepped in poop. Uma shook her head before examining the fish closer.

“It’s a catfish,” Uma pointed out as she held it up for the rest of them to see. It moved violently in her grip suddenly, and Uma tightened her hold.

“Alright! Let’s take it back to the folks!” Uma told them, and they nodded excitedly, starting up toward the house, Evie, Mal, and Jane’s phone flashlights on.

As soon as they topped the hill, they spotted the barest hints of Audrey’s form stomping over to the gate and climbing it carefully. They followed her, scaling the gate as she had done, and they spotted her not too far from it turning on the hose pipe.

Audrey was seething, her movements quick and jerky as she plopped down on a nearby stump used for chopping firewood so she could hose down her foot. Mal cleared her throat awkwardly, and Uma looked at the lot of them, the fish held tightly in her hands.

Evie took a deep breath, knowing that she had to try to fix this at least a little. Evie hesitantly stepped forward.

“Audrey-”

“I’m not talking to any of you right now,” Audrey informed her, which Evie thought was a little unfair to the innocent members of their party. However, she understood that the princess was a little overwhelmed at this moment.

“Okay…”

“These were designer sandals!” Audrey almost screeched, and Evie winced, opening her mouth to say something else before Uma interjected.

“Why don’t we let her call one of the guys, so maybe she can blow off a little bit of this steam?” Uma suggested, and Evie stopped for a moment, looking back at Uma as if she had lost her mind. Uma shrugged nonchalantly, and Evie raised an eyebrow. Uma leaned over and whispered something to Mal, and Mal’s eyes went wide as she came over to Evie, leaning near the older girl.

“Uma said that it’d be a good idea for her to vent all of her frustrations on somebody who’s not us, because we’ll have to put up with her ourselves quicker than we’d like. Maybe with one of the boys, she’d be distracted for a minute before seeing us,” Mal whispered, and Evie furrowed her brow, tilting her head slightly.

“So you’re saying we pawn her off on one of the boys?”

“Well, do you want to deal with her when she’s like this?” Mal asked, and Evie spared a glance at the fuming princess who was trying to take the plunge and actually let the hose pipe touch her legs. Evie shook her head, taking her phone from her pocket and offering it to Audrey.

Audrey looked up, positively fuming, and Evie kept a small smile on her face in an attempt to dissipate her anger. Audrey snatched it from her and started to video chat a boy of her choice. The other four looked at each other before hurrying off for the house, the fish in tow.

Before long, Jay’s face came onto the camera, and he raised an eyebrow.

“ _Hey, babe, I thought this was going to be Evie_ ,” Jay laughed a bit, and Audrey’s eyes lit up in a burning fire.

“Well, it’s not,” Audrey huffily replied, and Jay’s eyed widened as he watched her, knowing something was up. He was really quite curious as to what had gotten her this way, so, despite his better judgement, he decided to prod just a bit.

“ _Umm… Are you okay_?”

“NO! I am not okay!”

“ _Alright… What’s wrong_?” Jay questioned, his voice a mix between genuine concern and mirth as he watched her expression as she tried to hose down her foot with one hand outside of the camera’s view.

“Oh, nothing! JUST EVERYTHING ON THIS DANGED FARM!” Audrey screamed, not caring if Jay thought they were losing the bet or not. Her consensus was that if they were still there, they weren’t losing.

“ _Well… Where’re the other girls_?”

“Inside! Where I would be if I hadn’t stepped in cow shidooky and had to call _you_ of all people!” Jay huffed out of his nose, trying to keep his laughter as quiet as possible so he wouldn’t invoke her wrath even more greatly.

“ _Who else would you have called_?”

“Nobody! That’s the problem!” Audrey announced, her eyes widening momentarily in her irritation.

“ _Okay, okay! I understand! You’re not in the mood to talk_ ,” Jay raised up his hands in a placating gesture, trying to get her to calm down at least a little.

“No, I am not!” Audrey yelled, frustrated with the fact that the cow poop was not coming off of her foot. Jay blew a breath out of his mouth, scratching the back of his neck before shaking his head.

“ _Let me see some proof that you’re still at the farm, and I’ll let you_ -”

“DOES THIS LOOK LIKE PROOF TO YOU?!!!!” Audrey screeched, shoving the camera down near her poop-encrusted toes. He swallowed hard, trying valiantly to keep from laughing at her. He knew if he let loose even the barest of chuckles, she’d go completely off the grid.

“ _I think you need to calm down a little_ ,” Jay told her carefully, knowing that it was going to be taken the wrong way but still really hoping she’d take his advice. Audrey’s gaze snapped to his, and with the fury and intensity that she held in it, he was a little afraid that there was a bit of the Queen of Mean left in her after all.

“ _Never mind. I love you_ ,” Jay told her in a sweet tone of voice. Audrey kept her stare firmly locked onto his, a million thoughts running through her mind as she considered all that she could say at that moment. However, fortunately for Jay, she decided to settle on something slightly calmer.

“I love you, too!” Audrey grumbled in response, immensely irritated with the entire situation.

She hung up quickly, sitting the phone on the fence nearby, and she took off her sandals begrudgingly, rubbing at her toes carefully as she examined them. Once she had managed to clean them enough to see her skin with no brown-black splotches, however slightly stained by the cow waste.

After a moment, she noticed something black on the inside of her leg and she moved around, using her flexibility as a cheerleader to her advantage. Her eyes went wide as she gazed upon the creature that had attached itself to her that Evie had somehow managed to miss in her scouring earlier.

Audrey’s lip trembled, and only partially from the urge to cry. She clenched her teeth, holding the impending noise back before finally letting loose with a scream.

“UMA!!!!”


	10. Day Three: Morning

When Uma woke up that morning much too early, she knew something wasn’t quite right. However, there was not a single thing that indicated it. She sat up, brushing the white dog hairs off of her where she had brought the puppy up for a visit last night, and she rubbed at her eyes, noticing that everyone else’s alarms were going off as well.

Last night, as they were feasting upon Evie’s gargantuan catfish, George had informed them that they would be getting started earlier than usual today. The reason why was not revealed, despite how interested the five were in the mystery of it all.

Uma sighed, noticing that the alarms were turning off as everybody woke up. Uma yawned widely, still a little bewildered at the feeling of dread that she was experiencing, and she pulled on her daytime clothes slowly.

Evie prodded Mal awake gently, Mal slapping at her hand just barely as she tried to stay in the bed just for a few moments longer. Evie lightly smacked Mal’s hand in response, still too tired to make good sense of everything, and the bluenette turned to put on her clothes.

Audrey was still lying there snoring, and her alarm was making an incessant noise. Uma rolled her eyes, tapping the button to turn it off before taking Audrey’s clothes and dropping the pile on the princess’s face. Miraculously, that somehow woke up the normally unawakenable girl, and Audrey snorted, pushing the clothes off of her face with a gasp.

“Mornin’,” Uma slurred, sleep still addling her slightly, and Audrey narrowed her eyes and set her jaw in irritation, getting her clothes on as well.

Before long, they were all inside the house, eating some eggs that Audrey had fought the chickens for once again today. Uma still had that feeling of impending doom weighing her down, and she couldn’t figure out for the life of her what could be awry.

They were all eating some French toast and a bit of eggs, and they were seated at the table in their usual fashion with Anne. However, after George didn’t come for a little while, Evie furrowed her brow, looking around.

“Where’s George?” Evie asked after a moment, realizing that the old man wasn’t coming in to eat.

“Oh, he doesn’t like to eat before heading out. He says it’s bad luck. Especially with what y’all are doing today,” Anne mumbled the last part, and Uma was stuck on the particular phrase “heading out.” She furrowed her brow, really hoping that she meant heading out in the old truck that they had sitting around the farm.

“What are we doing today?” Mal asked curiously, and Anne just gave her an odd, tight-lipped smile, and returned to her food, her eyes sparkling as she kept the secret from them.

Everyone finished their food slowly but surely, and at Anne’s instruction, headed out toward the horse fence. Uma was really hoping that George was just checking on the creatures before they left in the truck, and she followed the group hesitantly.

Uma happened to catch a bit of movement on her side, and she saw that there was a goose walking next to her. It was Elmer, and she raised an eyebrow, following his line of focus. Her eyes quickly settled on a blue-haired target, and she sighed with a slight laugh.

“I think you need to leave her alone. You’re going to give her a mental breakdown, you know?” Uma informed the bird, and he just looked at her strangely. Uma shook her head, smiling at the entire situation.

They arrived at the horse fence, and Uma’s eyes went wide as she stopped. There inside the fence were six horses tied to the fence, clad in tack as they were quite obviously being readied for a ride.

Uma’s immediate instinct was to run, especially since that same horse was there that had chased her just yesterday morning. It looked at her, an untrustworthy look in its eye, and she gulped.

However, as Audrey looked at her a bit strangely, Uma knew that she was going to have to at least act like she was not afraid of it in the least. For her own good, she’d have to act as if she wasn’t afraid. She had heard that horses could sense fear.

Uma let out a breath before walking up next to the rest of the group, noticing that Elmer was lurking some distance away. She made a mental note to watch her butt just in case, but she ultimately knew that the goose had a one-track mind that was filled with thoughts of Evie.

“Good morning, girls!” George greeted with a smile, carrying a saddle in his hands as he started for the first horse tied up.

“So I take it that we’re riding somewhere today?” Mal asked, and he nodded with a pleased grin.

“Yes, ma’am, we are,” he replied, resting the saddle on top of the horse as he started to strap it on. Uma resisted the urge to tuck tail and run, knowing how badly she’d be picked on if she did. She couldn’t chicken out on this. She had to take the advice she had given Evie on the first day--- put on her big girl panties.

“Now, do you think that all of you could go and get them saddles in yonder?” George questioned once he put on his horse’s saddle and wiped his brow carefully. Everyone headed for the horse barn. Evie sighed slightly as soon as they entered, remembering well the job that her and Audrey had completed.

They reached the end of the hallway between the stables, and everyone selected a saddle. Evie looked around quickly before picking out the most Western-looking saddle that she could see, and Mal just grabbed the one nearest to her. Uma subtly searched for a saddle that had a relatively large horn on it and that looked like it would hold onto the horse tightly. She finally settled on one that she thought was incrementally larger than the rest. Audrey got the fanciest one out of the two that were left, and Jane just picked the only one remaining, not really picky about her saddle.

Once they went back outside, George smiled at them.

“Let me show you to your horses,” George told them, and they followed him in an orderly line, their saddles in tow.

“Mal, this is Coal. Coal can be a little persnickety, but if you show him who’s the boss, he’ll behave for you. Just don’t let him know if you have any fear of him. Be firm with your commands,” George instructed, and Mal nodded, surveying the black horse.

“This is Carson,” Evie tilted her head slightly at the name that didn’t seem to go with how everything on the farm was named, and George waved a hand dismissively.

“We bought him from some young folk. You should like him. He’s a little quirky sometimes, but he should be good for you,” George informed Evie, pointing at the white horse, and Evie looked at the old man with some confusion and slight trepidation.

“What do you mean by quirky exactly?”

“Hang on tight because he has a bad habit of tripping over his own feet,” George told her, and Evie’s eyes went wide as she gazed at George in slight horror. He held a hand up in a placating gesture. “He’s never dumped anyone off, though, so don’t worry too much.”

“Now, Jane, you’re matched with the lovely Prune. Prune’s an elderly horse, and she shouldn’t give you one whit bit of trouble except the fact that she’s kind of slow and not real responsive to commands. But she should work for you pretty well,” George spoke, and Jane sat the saddle on the horse gently, reaching a hand out and petting the gray-speckled hairs on her neck.

“This is Prissy, Audrey. You’ll be riding her. Be careful, though, she can be a bit of a handful,” George introduced, moving down the line as he reached the very last horse.

“It’s a fitting match,” Uma commented, trying to distract herself from her nervousness, and Audrey shot her an unappreciative glare. Uma just stuck her tongue out at her slightly before realizing exactly where George had led her. Uma almost ran for her life as soon as she saw the horse turn its head to look at her. It was that blasted creature that had nearly mauled her when she had been checking its hooves.

“Uma, you’ll have Charlie. He’s the sweetest horse I’ve got on this whole farm,” George assured her confidently and Uma shook her head slightly as she watched the creature that was watching her.

“With all due respect, sir, I already know this horse. You haven’t seen the Devil in it like I have,” Uma informed him, and he just laughed heartily, clapping her on the shoulder fondly.

“You go on, now. Put on their saddles, girls, and we’ll be off to look for some calves.”

He watched them for a moment, and Audrey, Uma, Evie, and Mal put on the saddles over the blankets that George had already put on them. Jane already had strapped her horse. She fortunately knew how to tack a horse. It was one of the few things that her mother had ever let her learn to do outside of school and piano.

Audrey furrowed her brow, somewhat embarrassed at the fact that she, a princess that greatly enjoyed horseback riding, didn’t know how to put on a saddle. Audrey looked at how Jane had put on the saddle, and she tried to replicate it as well as she could. From behind Audrey, Evie followed the pink princess’ movements. Mal copied Evie, watching her carefully.

George nodded his head at the lot of them, impressed with their quick learning. However, he quickly noticed that Uma was having great difficulty.

He came over sympathetically, and wordlessly strapped the saddle on for her. Uma offered him a nod, and she released a deep breath.

George stood back from the lot of them, and he smiled.

“Okay, now, unhitch them.” The girls looked at one another and they untied the reins from the fence in front of the horses. Uma very hesitantly complied, and as soon as she had, Charlie looked at her strangely. Uma shook her head at him in a signal of negation, and he very slowly turned his gaze ahead.

“Now get on them. Grab onto the horn of the saddle, and throw your leg over,” he instructed, and Uma gulped, trying her best to keep her nerve as she got on top of the horse. Charlie shifted a bit underneath her, and she held onto the reins tightly. Audrey swiftly mounted her horse. Jane did as well, and Evie and Mal followed her and Audrey’s example.

“You know, you five look like real cowgirls now,” George complimented, and Evie visibly puffed up with great pride. Mal rolled her eyes but offered him a grin.

George came around and got on top of his horse. He looked at them all happily.

“You ready to ride?”

All of the girls offered varying forms of affirmation, and he started off, clicking his tongue and lightly kicking its sides.

Evie suddenly heard a honk before she started, and she paused, her eyes going wide as she spotted the goose on the ground.

“Shoo! Shoo! Get out of here!” Evie scolded, and the goose waddled away, but not before offering her a chilling look that made her significantly wary of the animal.

Audrey and Jane started out, and Mal and Evie followed behind them, forming two separate rows of horses and riders. Uma went along in the very back, trying hard to seem as if she were somewhat in control of the horse.

They reached George, and he had opened up the gate to the cows. Wordlessly, they all headed out into the cow pasture.

Uma rode along mostly silently, too scared to say anything as she held onto the reins and her horse trotted along behind the others.

“Now, we aren’t repeating yesterday, you feel me? We’re gonna be compadres today, capiche?” Uma questioned quietly, and the horse just offered her a sideways glance.

“Are you talking to the horse?” Mal asked, turning in her saddle to look at Uma, and Uma shrugged nonchalantly, trying to appear as if she hadn’t uttered a single word.

“Heck, no. It’s all good back here,” Uma assured her, and Mal just raised an eyebrow, turning back to face forward and converse with Evie.

“So?” Evie questioned excitedly, and Mal tilted her head curiously.

“So?”

“So, how is your first time on a horse?” Evie asked excitedly as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, their horses trotting in sync alongside one another.

“Well… It’s not terrible.”

“I kind of like it actually. It’s an entirely new point of view.”

“A whole new world, right?” Mal questioned, humoring Evie and Evie just gave her a big grin before playfully singing the line Mal had just used.

“Oh, but, M, we’re like Bonnie and Clyde, but like I’m a girl version of Clyde. And your sister,” Evie dreamed aloud, stroking the shoulders of the creature beneath her.

“Well, that brings a whole new bunch of weird to that relationship.”

“Okay, then. What about Bonnie and Annie Oakley? I’ll be Annie Oakley, famous gunslinger and so hot that girls wanna be her and boys wanna be with her,” Evie struck a valiant sort of pose and Mal snorted at her.

“Yeah, did you think about the gunslinger part? You don’t have a gun, Evie,” Mal told her, and Evie furrowed her brow and pursed her lips as she considered this. Evie then got a giant grin on her face before holding her hand up in a finger gun as she made a shooting sound. Mal rolled her eyes and tried to hold back a smile, enjoying Evie’s antics.

“So I get to be Bonnie, huh? Sounds like a goofy name,” Mal commented and Evie shook her head emphatically.

“No, no, no, don’t underestimate the power of Bonnie. Bonnie was a lean, mean, killing machine,” Evie informed her.

“Huh. I like it.”

“It’s just like you. She’s got a cutesy tutesy little name, but she has a boiling pot of I’m going to kill you dead and paint your blood on the walls just waiting inside of her.”

“Boy, you’re making me out to be a sweet little person.”

“Dynamite does come in small packages, Mal,” Evie informed her with a fond smile, and Mal finally cracked a grin.

“So how do Thorn, Jane, and Uma come into the story?” Mal questioned, and Evie thought for a moment. Evie’s face suddenly lit up in a smile as she leaned toward Mal and spoke quietly.

“They could always be the three stooges,” Evie pointed out and both girls fell into giggles.

Uma had happened to hear them and she just raised an eyebrow, completely unimpressed with this decision made by the two in front of her. It almost distracted her from being terrified.

Well, except for when the horse started to turn its head and look at her on its back.

“Don’t get any ideas,” Uma told it firmly, her fear still coursing through her veins wholeheartedly as they passed by a few trees.

The horse looked to the side and he started to move sideways toward the trees. Uma’s eyes went wide as he started under a bunch of low branches.

“Stop! Bad horse!” Uma scolded angrily, but before she knew it, there were leaves slapping her face as the horse moved a bit faster to take her off guard. Uma brought her hands up, blocking the thin branches as she tried to keep the thing from successfully throwing her off as it seemed so intent on doing.

When Uma finally got out from the trees, she grabbed onto the reins carefully but firmly, trying to keep control of the horse despite the fact that she was positively terrified that the thing was going to throw her off eventually.

“Are we handling our horses well, girls?” Audrey suddenly piped up, and Uma knew she must have seen Uma getting ran up under all of the low branches. Uma just raised an eyebrow, trying to look sassy as Audrey looked back at them all.

“Uma, you have something in your hair,” Audrey finally acknowledged, and Uma brought a hand up, realizing that there was a leaf caught in her hair. She grabbed it quickly and dropped it on the ground.

“It’s okay, Uma. It happens to everyone that’s new at riding a horse,” Audrey told her, surprisingly compassionate considering the fact that this was a perfect opportunity to pick on Uma.

Truthfully, Audrey had been watching Uma with the horses. She had actually happened to see Uma getting chased by one from inside the house, but she didn’t say anything. It actually surprised her that Uma was that afraid of something, and she didn’t really like for Uma to be genuinely terrified of something to the point that it was almost a phobia.

They continued to ride for a while longer, Evie and Mal incessantly chattering and Uma and Audrey bantering every once in a while. About an hour had passed when George suddenly spotted what they had come out for in the first place.

“Y’all, I think we’ve got something!” George called, and Uma’s eyes widened as everyone stopped in front of what was quite possibly the most disgusting thing that she had ever witnessed.

There before them all was a cow with unidentifiable things hanging out of its behind. Evie was gaping at it, no doubt analyzing the intricacies of cow birthing, and Mal looked like she was going to throw up over the side of the horse.

George got off of his horse and went to examine the cow carefully, and Mal actually gagged when he put his hand inside of it to feel for the calf.

“Okay. Mal, Uma, you two get down off your horses and help me get this thing out,” George told them, and Uma very hesitantly got down from the horse. She started past its head very carefully, and it turned to her, its lips extended as it seemed as if it might bite her. She jumped to the side, dodging it quickly as she attempted to nonchalantly hurry up to the cow.

Mal was trying not to heave, and Evie was watching her sympathetically.

“Good luck,” Evie wished, and Mal just shot her a glare as she got off the horse, heading up to the cow.

“Alright, now, Mal, I’m going to loop this chain around its legs and you’re going to grab onto its feet when they come out, alright?” George instructed, and Mal nodded, her stomach feeling really queasy.

“Uma, you’re going to help me pull the chain.” Uma just nodded, and they started.

Before long, they were yanking on the chain, and Mal was trying to grab onto its feet and help them the best she could. It was positively disgusting, and she felt like throwing up already. Her stomach was churning, and she was trying hard not to think of what was going on.

“HOLY CANOLI, ITS HEAD CAME OUT!” Evie suddenly screeched from atop her horse, and Mal gagged.

“You are never holding my hand while I’m having a baby,” Mal informed the bluenette, completely grossed out.

“Y’know, Mal, it really ain’t so bad. It’s the miracle of life,” Uma pointed out, and Mal felt her stomach lurch once again as the cow pushed and Uma, Mal, and George yanked.

“I never thought we’d have a baby together,” Uma suddenly spoke, and Mal just shook her head, spitting on the ground as she tried to keep her stomach where it belonged while Uma cackled.

“Don’t get weird on me,” Mal replied shortly, and Uma grinned widely, pulling on the calf as its shoulders started to come out.

“You can do it, Mama!” Evie cried encouragingly.

“Push it out, shove it out, way out!” Evie cheered, and Audrey just stared at her as if she had lost her mind completely.

“That is the most revolting chant I have ever heard.”

“C’mon, Audrey, do it with me! You’re a real cheerleader, after all,” Evie told her, and Audrey shuddered in pure disgust. Jane actually started helping Evie, and they were cheering for the mother to push the baby out.

With one mighty pull, the calf came out completely, and Audrey shuddered. Mal almost puked right then and there, her hand on the back of the cow as it mooed loudly.

“Alright! It’s out!” George sighed happily, and Uma grinned in pure relief.

Evie grinned widely as she leaned forward on her horse.

“Oh, it’s a bouncing baby boy!” Evie cooed, and Mal rolled her eyes, trying not to barf everywhere.

“That’s its tail,” Mal ground out.

“A gorgeous glimmering girl!” Evie called out, correcting herself quickly.

George started to rub its body hard, trying to make sure that it could breathe. After a few moments, it raised its head up, its body rising and falling with breaths.

Evie turned back on her horse and held up her phone, getting a selfie with all of the girls in the background along with the freshly born calf.

“Wow. That’s amazing,” Uma finally commented, disturbing the silence and shaking her head as she let her hands hang limply beside her.

Mal chanced a look back, and as soon as she caught a glimpse of some of the more nasty aspects of birthing, she rushed forward and started to retch. When Mal had finally raised back up and Evie was sure she was okay, the bluenette chuckled a bit.

“Well, I’m not sure if you should be in there when you have a baby, because human birth is just as nasty as that or worse,” Evie commented with a slight laugh.

Mal almost puked again.


	11. Day Three: Afternoon

“Hey, M, my, um… My butt is sore,” Evie whispered to her best friend as they rode up to the cow gate. Mal just nodded in response, already identifying the uncomfortable feeling with her own behind.

They hadn’t managed to find any more cows having babies, which Mal was particularly thankful for, and they had eventually rode back. It had been about three hours solid of riding, not to mention their stop to birth the calf. Mal could completely understand Evie’s problem with her sore behind.

They stopped at the horse fence, and George dismounted his horse, smiling at all of them.

“Good job, girls,” George praised, and they all grinned happily albeit tiredly.

“You girls go ahead and leave the horses here, and I’ll fix them up.”

“Are you sure you don’t need help?” Audrey offered, and George waved her away good-naturedly.

“Naw, I’m not an old man yet, now. ‘Sides, Anne told me that she wanted y’all to go out to the goats and tend them,” George informed them, and Evie glanced at Mal curiously.

“I didn’t know you guys had goats,” Evie spoke, tilting her head slightly, and George nodded.

“Yeah, they’re off that way. Kind of secluded around back,” George gestured in a vague direction, and Evie looked at Mal, excited to see some real goats. After all, she had seen how adorable they were on videos online.

They all dismounted their horses and as soon as Evie hit the ground, her legs were spread far apart, her behind much too sore to bring them together in a normal position. Audrey seemed to not be experiencing any discomfort and Jane was in pain only a little. Uma and Mal, however, were almost as bad off as Evie, but they handled it much better, forcing themselves to stand straight and as normal as possible.

However, only a few moments after Uma was off of the horse, she walked away quickly to escape the horse, shortly thereafter leaning against the fence as she reveled in the feeling of her pained butt.

George headed inside of the barn, leading his horse, and the girls stood there for a moment as they waited for Mal, Uma, and Evie’s rears to stop hurting enough to walk to the goat pen.

Mal and Uma finally decided they were ready, but Evie was still standing there, her legs spread apart as she looked at them all.

“Evie, you ready?” Mal questioned, and Evie nodded with a grin that was much too big to be genuine.

“Yeah, definitely,” she informed them, and they all headed past her, slowly making their way to the goats. Evie carefully turned around, waddling behind them as she made sure her legs didn’t close the gap between them.

Mal and Uma looked back at her and shared a glance. They turned back and walked over to her.

“Is there anything we can do to help you?” Mal offered, and Evie smiled at the both of them somewhat awkwardly.

“Well… Uma, if you could get on one side and grab, and, M, you get on the other side and grab, and if you two would just drag me?”

They both looked at her, linking their arms in hers, and they dragged her behind Jane and Audrey mostly effortlessly.

“Thanks, girls,” Evie expressed, smiling at the both of them with relief as they pulled her along.

Before long, they arrived on the other side of a thick bunch of trees, and they found a fence. Upon a closer look, there were goats all around inside of it. As they approached it, everyone jumped when Audrey suddenly squealed, her eyes aglow as she spotted a baby goat.

“It’s so CUTE!!!” Audrey cried, hurrying over to the fence as she stared at the little thing.

However, her squeal must have scared the goats, and about half of them fell on the ground, frozen with their legs sticking straight up in the air. Uma stared at them for a minute as they rolled stiffly on their backs. They then slowly recovered, standing back up.

Uma looked at all of them, her lips trembling as she tried to resist the urge to laugh. But at the bewildered expression on Evie’s face, she burst out into laughter.

“What the heck was that?!” Uma questioned, cackling as she gestured at the goats. She let go of Evie in favor of walking up to the fence to examine the creatures more closely.

Mal looked at Evie curiously, checking to ensure that the other girl was alright to stand on her own or perhaps start standing properly. Evie just nodded, and Mal let her go as Evie very slowly and very painfully worked her legs so that she was standing as she normally did.

“Are you okay?”

“I’ll be fine,” Evie assured her, her voice a bit strained as she spoke. They approached the fence behind Audrey, Uma, and Jane.

“It’s absolutely the cutest thing!” Jane cried, just as enthralled by the goats as Audrey. Evie found them absolutely adorable as well, but she couldn’t bend down just yet. Uma was still absorbed in and utterly mesmerized by the fact that they fell over and fainted. Mal thought they were cute, but she wasn’t exceedingly fascinated with them like everyone else seemed to be.

“I want to make them little sweaters!” Evie cooed, eyeing the little goats as they played together.

“I want to make them all fall over,” Uma finally spoke, and Evie shot her a disapproving glance.

However, before they got too far, Evie suddenly heard a telltale honk. Her eyes widened, and before she knew it a swift pinch was delivered to her behind.

“OW!!! You just had to do it, didn’t you?! Get out of here!” Evie yelled, waving at the goose angrily, about to smack him, and he hurried away by Audrey, honking all the way.

Audrey’s eyes widened as she suddenly felt its beak touch her behind. It wasn’t a bite, but it had certainly done something. Audrey, remembering that she had brought her sunglasses, reached in her back pocket, and started feeling around for them. She held back the gasp as she turned toward the escaping goose.

Sure enough, he had her one of a kind, designer sunglasses in his mouth. Audrey’s mouth fell open, but she knew she couldn’t say anything because she’d be picked on terribly for being pickpocketed by a goose. She’d have to find him and her sunglasses later, much to her chagrin. She hesitantly knelt down, returning to her examination of the baby goats as her sunglasses situation weighed heavily upon her mind.

“You might want to take that as a message, E. Maybe you need to start sucking that thing in a little more so it doesn’t look like a target,” Mal commented with a barely held back laugh.

“It is the perfect butt,” Evie informed her haughtily, and Uma raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah, like get blinkers and a tag kind of perfect,” Uma commented, and her and Mal both laughed at Evie. Evie crossed her arms over her chest, unimpressed with their sense of humor. Mal hugged Evie with one arm, and Evie begrudgingly returned the affection.

After a moment, Uma went in the fence, going to look at all of the goats more closely, and the other girls shared a glance before following her inside. Audrey immediately bent down with Jane, trying to get the little goats to come near them so they could pet the little animals.

“Is that a compost pile?” Evie asked, and Mal followed her gaze. There was an enormous pile of waste and dirt over nearby the edge of the fence, and Mal shrugged.

“I guess. I really don’t know what one looks like,” Mal replied with a slight chuckle.

Uma snuck up behind a larger goat, excitedly anticipating its reaction to her scaring. She crept quietly, not making a single sound until she was right behind it.

“BOO!” Uma yelled, and sure enough, it didn’t disappoint. Actually, it did more than Uma expected. It jumped forward, totally freaking out as it made noise. It then fell over, legs stuck straight in the air. Uma laughed hard, placing a hand on a nearby fence post as she fully enjoyed it.

“They look just like Evie when she gets scared,” Uma cackled, pointing at the bluenette. Evie rolled her eyes, crossing her arms over her chest as she attempted to eye Uma in an expression of her unappreciative emotion surrounding Uma’s treatment of the goat.

“Uma, you need to behave. Those poor goats obviously can’t take that kind of stress,” Evie scolded, and Uma rolled her eyes as she sobered. However, she kept that same smile on her face as she surveyed the group of creatures, no doubt selecting her next target.

“Come on, it’s harmless,” Uma assured her and Evie shook her head, unwilling to admit that there was any humor in it.

“It’s like cow-tipping, except with a goat,” Uma explained, and Evie just sighed as she started to look for the goat food.

Audrey was bent down and holding a baby goat as she stroked its fur. Jane was petting it as well, mesmerized by the little creature that had so much energy.

Mal watched as Uma scared yet another goat. However, the pirate looked slightly less amused this time.

“Huh. That one didn’t have near the reaction that the other one did,” Uma commented, and Mal snorted as Uma started to creep behind the goat she had scared just a moment ago.

The goat once again reacted just as crazily as it had earlier, and Uma fell into wholehearted laughter as she watched the creature get back up slowly.

“I have never seen such a simultaneously compassionate and cruel person,” Evie acknowledged, and Uma offered her a two-fingered salute before startling another goat.

However, before she was through, she ended up scaring that same big, hairy goat. It looked at her strangely when it stood back up and it started toward her, its horns lowered as it tried to headbutt her.

Uma rolled her eyes and shooed it away.

“Go on now. My butt’s too sore to be playing your game,” Uma told it, holding it back with her boot. It didn’t really pursue her any further, and it could have pushed past her foot, but it turned around instead with one last resentful look thrown in her direction.

Evie finally found the food, and she grabbed the bag in her arms, struggling to carry it as she headed toward their trough. Mal hurried over to help her, and between the both of them, they had the trough filled in no time. They took the food back to its proper place as all of the goats ran over to eat.

Uma snorted as she allowed her subjects to leave for a moment. She strolled over to the compost pile, looking at it closer.

“So, what’s this used for?” Uma asked, wrinkling her nose at the smell of it. Mal once again shrugged, having no idea, and Audrey and Jane were too absorbed in goat babies to respond properly. Evie, on the other hand, jumped at the opportunity and started to explain exactly what compost piles are used for and what is in them.

“Compost piles are commonly used to fertilize gardens and cultivate earthworms to be used for a variety of purposes such as fishing or feeding to chickens,” Evie started, and Mal was immediately reminded of Evie’s oral essay back at Auradon Prep that was concentrated upon Earth science.

“Okay… I am truly sorry despite the fact that I did ask for that. Now, let me ask you my next question that hopefully won’t end up with such a long, complicated, Evie kind of answer: what is in it?” Uma questioned somewhat worriedly as she really hoped that Evie wouldn’t reply with one of her typical responses that sounded like a boring, one-hundred-year-old teacher prattling on about who knows what. She kept her eyes on the compost pile as she tried to figure out what was in it.

“Well, there’s several components that can make up a compost pile. There’s leftover food,” Evie started, and Mal watched as the goat that Uma had so terrorized raised its head up and was looking at the pirate with interest, “there’s obviously soil,” the goat started away from the trough as it got behind Uma some distance away, “and well, there’s the definitely more embarrassing and more disgusting aspects that include animal-”

Mal watched as the goat took off toward Uma, its head bowed as it charged with its horns angled straight for her behind. Evie stopped in her commentary and they watched as Uma raised her head up.

“Why’d you stop- AAAHHH!!!” Uma yelled as she was stabbed in her saddle-sore behind and went flying into the compost pile face first, her hands catching her before her face landed in it.

The goat cried out at her before happily trotting over to finish its lunch, and all of the other girls laughed heartily at Uma’s expense. Mal was greatly enjoying the goat’s revenge and she mentally congratulated the creature for catching Uma off-guard. Evie was snorting in the midst of her mirth and Audrey had a hand covering her mouth as she stared and giggled. Jane was just gaping as she giggled a bit with Audrey.

Uma was frozen for a moment, just totally baffled as she stared at her hands that were thickly submerged in the pile. Uma took a deep breath, closing her eyes before raising up ever so slowly, taking a hand and grabbing onto the fencepost as she pulled her knees and hand out of the moist dirt.

She turned to them all, and everyone grew somewhat quieter in their laughter. Evie giggled slightly as she opened her mouth to speak.

“No need to finish your list,” Uma told her, and Evie shut her mouth quickly, wondering how Uma knew she was going to pick up where she left off.

“I already found out that the last ingredient of compost is kaka-poo,” Uma informed her.

Everyone started to laugh even harder than they had before.


	12. Day Three: Night

“Who are we calling tonight?” Mal questioned, the lot of them lounged in the loft as Evie sat next to her closely, examining her fingers as she worriedly noted the chipped nail polish.

“Eh, I’ll call Harry, and be the martyr,” Uma volunteered, grabbing the puppy’s head in both hands and ruffling her ears fondly before reaching for her phone.

“Oh, yes, because you are definitely the queen of self-sacrifice,” Mal sarcastically remarked, and Uma just offered her a big grin, pointing a finger gun at her as she started to look through the notifications on her phone before she made the call.

“M, look at my nails,” Evie pointed out finally, looping one arm around Mal and pressing her cheek against Mal’s own as she exhibited her fingers for Mal to view.

“Wow,” Mal bluntly spoke, not really too horrified but simply responding to the bluenette as she rested her head against Evie’s.

“They’re horrid!” Evie cried, and Mal nodded slowly.

“Terrible.”

“I’m getting the feeling that you are being insincere,” Evie turned her gaze to Mal’s, and Mal simply snorted at her in response.

“It’s just fingernails.”

“M, you’re a nail-biter, so you don’t understand,” Evie chuckled, and Mal raised an eyebrow as she pulled away from Evie slightly.

“That’s a little discriminatory,” Mal remarked offhandedly, and Evie huffed somewhere in between amusement and exasperation with Mal’s unimpressed emotions toward her hopeless plight.

“Audrey, girl, help me explain this,” Evie desperately requested for help, but Audrey wasn’t really listening. Evie called her name once again, and Audrey was pulled from her thoughts just enough to know that Evie was arguing some point or another with Mal. Audrey rolled her eyes, giving her verdict.

“Evie’s right and you’re wrong. However, Evie’s probably getting too emotionally invested in her rightness,” Audrey simply added in her input, and Evie was somewhere between grateful and offended.

Audrey would have normally contributed more to the conversation, but she was currently too absorbed in what had happened earlier that day. Ever since that blasted goose had pickpocketed her and stole her prized sunglasses, Audrey had been thinking of him nonstop. However, she could never make a move to look for him or even bring it up because she knew how relentlessly that she would be picked on by Uma and Mal.

However, she did have a plan. As soon as all of the other girls fell asleep, Audrey would go outside and find that goose, and steal her sunglasses back. That way, there’d be no humiliation, and no more worrying.

“Okay, calling now,” Uma announced, and she dialed Harry’s number, the puppy jumping over her legs and curling behind her as it gnawed on her hair, pulling it a little. Uma just gazed at it fondly, pulling her tresses away from the pup’s eager mouth, and turned her eyes back to the phone.

Suddenly, the face of Harry Hook popped up on the screen. As soon as he laid his eyes upon her, he lit up in a smirk with a raised eyebrow.

“ _Ahoy, Cap’n_.”

“There’s that ugly mug I haven’t seen for three days and most of another one,” Uma commented sarcastically, and Harry poked his lip out at her dramatically, furrowing his brow with mock hurt.

“ _Aww… Ye know ye’ve been missin’ me_ ,” Harry proclaimed, and Uma rolled her eyes before suddenly laughing as the puppy sat up behind her and started licking and biting at her ear. Uma reached for the pup, maneuvering it on the side that was nearest to Harry.

“Not really. I’ve found someone else to take your place,” Uma informed him with a slight laugh, her hand resting on the pup’s soft-furred head.

“ _Ye’ve replaced me already, eh?! I shoulda known t’was all a lie_!” Harry cried, draping a hand over his forehead, and Uma felt the overwhelming urge to playfully smack him. However, she couldn’t do so through the phone, of course, which was quite disappointing.

“Yeah, yeah, calm down some, Hook,” Uma told him, stroking the puppy that was curled into her so happily.

Audrey zoned out at that point, hoping and praying and wishing more than anything that the pirate captain would just hang up already and get to bed.

She needed those sunglasses. They were special designer glasses, and they were her favorite pair. They were one of the few material items in her life that she could not replace.

“ _I assume yer at the farm, unless ye picked up the wee rat on the side of the road_ ,” Harry pointed out, obviously questioning whether Uma was still really at the farm. Audrey rolled her eyes, biting back a response of her own as she looked at the pile of hay not too far away. Of course they were still there. Couldn’t the moron see that Uma was in a barn backdrop.

“Are you doubting me?” Uma questioned, raising an eyebrow as she attempted to look haughty.

“ _Ne’er. But for the sake of, eh…. Research, show me the place_ ,” Harry informed her, his hook coming into view as he gestured. Uma just glared at him for a moment, before letting out a puff of air.

“When I get home, you’re getting your butt kicked,” Uma threatened, her tone harsh but her eyes somewhat softer to indicate her lack of seriousness surrounding the subject.

“ _I’ll be lookin’ forward to it_ ,” Harry flirted, winking at her, and Uma rolled her eyes before turning the camera.

“ _They got ye sleepin’ in a barn_?!” Harry cried, and started to giggle hysterically, and Uma cut her eyes over at him with only mild irritation.

“Oh, shut up. You are the one that slept in a shed one time,” Uma told him, raising an eyebrow, and Harry nodded, quieting a little.

“ _Yeah… I s’pose so_.”

“ _Uma?”_ a voice sounded off, and Uma resisted the urge to chuckle at the utterly annoyed look on Harry’s face.

 _“Uma?! Oh, Uma! Hi_!” Gil suddenly greeted, his face barely entering the range of the camera before Harry put his hand on the boy’s head and shoved him away.

“ _Oi, get on now! I’m tryin’ to talk to me lady. Don’t be interruptin’, ye scallywag! Ye’ll ‘ave yer turn soon enough_!” Harry proclaimed, and Gil protested in a whine. Uma just chuckled at the two, shaking her head.

“You could be a little nicer to him,” Uma informed the Hook boy, and Harry just shrugged, throwing Gil an unimpressed glance.

“ _Like I said, he’ll ‘ave his chance one of these days to talk_ ,” Harry firmly spoke, and Uma grinned at him.

“Yeah. I guess. If we decide to call him, that is,” Uma joked, and Harry winked at her with a raise of his brow.

“Would you hurry up and get off the phone?! I’m trying to go to sleep!” Audrey proclaimed, and Uma threw her an unappreciative glare before exchanging her goodbyes with her first mate.

Mal was already lounged in her sleeping bag, and Evie was curled inside of it with the faerie. Ever since the rats on the first night, Evie had been sleeping in Mal’s bag with her because she was scared they’d come back. When Mal presented her with the fact that they hadn’t heard nor seen any evidence of them since day one, Evie just claimed that she wanted to be close.

Uma put her puppy down on the floor of the barn, and Audrey lay there in her sleeping bag, her mind racing with all of the possible locations of her sunglasses. Uma just wouldn’t move fast enough as she plopped down on her bag before snuggling into it.

“Ready for me to hit the lights?” Mal asked, Evie already nearly asleep right behind her.

“Yeah,” Uma replied, and Audrey didn’t say anything, pretending to be asleep instead. It was believable enough. After all, Audrey could go to sleep miraculously fast.

Mal turned off the light, and the dimmer moonlight came in through the window, not as pronounced as it was several days ago. Audrey impatiently watched Jane’s breaths in front of her, and she noticed that they were slowly and steadily growing more even and deep.

However, something inside of her knew that Uma wasn’t asleep yet. Audrey furrowed her brow, keeping her eyes open determinedly as she attempted to avoid sleep.

She soon heard Mal’s soft snores, and she was certain that Evie was long gone as well, if her stillness had anything to do with it. So, Audrey waited for Uma.

Uma turned a few times in her bag--- Audrey could hear it--- and the pink princess couldn’t help but offhandedly wonder if the pirate knew of her plans to go out after dark.

But before she knew it, Uma was asleep, too, her snores adding to Mal’s as they symphonized in a sleepy harmony.

Audrey very slowly and carefully arose from her bag, looking at all of the resting bodies around her. There were no hints of awareness and consciousness, so Audrey eased out of her sleeping bag. The princess hesitantly slipped on her slippers, thankful that they were not a pair of important ones or that they were at least easily replaceable unlike her sunglasses, and she went down the ladder carefully. She crept over to the barn door, opening it ever so softly, and nervously noticing the squeak and subsequent creak it made when she moved it.

As soon as there was a large enough crack to permit it, Audrey slipped out the door, starting out across the grass as she looked for that horrid little goose.

Audrey reached into her pocket and withdrew her phone, turning on its flashlight. She held it out in front of her so she could see the culprit. Audrey considered for a moment where she thought the goose would bed down.

Audrey had noticed that so far, the goose always seemed to linger around the barn when Evie first got up. She wasn’t sure if it was because Evie was sleeping just upstairs inside or if he had a nest nearby. Audrey finally decided to look around the barn and try to find the creature.

She headed around, shining her flashlight all around the nearby area. However, just as she almost reached back where she started, she spotted a hole in the bottom of the wood of the barn. Audrey stopped, kneeling down as she shined her light inside. There in the nest was the goose, wide awake as it stared at her, her sunglasses inside its nest.

“There you are, you little stinker,” Audrey scolded it, trying to work up the nerve to reach down and grab the sunglasses from the goose’s nest. After several faux reaches, she finally managed to grab them.

“Aha!” Audrey cried as she stood up, holding her prize victoriously, but the goose suddenly came rushing out from its hole. Audrey yelped as she jumped back, accidentally dropping her sunglasses in the process. The goose grabbed them and took off across the moonlit yard. Audrey’s eyes widened and she started after him.

“Come back here, goose!” Audrey whispered angrily, rushing after the creature as it went behind the farmhouse.

“When I get my hands around your little neck, ooh, hoo, hoo, you’re gonna get it!” Audrey threatened, the creature still running incredibly fast considering it was on two legs and much shorter ones than hers.

However, as they reached a nearby pen, the goose lifted up, taking off in flight. Audrey’s eyes widened in disbelief, her gaze locked on her glasses, and she watched them fall down into the fence. Audrey froze as she realized exactly what pen they were inside of.

It was the pig pen.

Audrey stared at the goose as it landed some distance away, running as fast as it could. Audrey then returned her gaze to her sunglasses that were somewhat sunken into the deep mud of the pig sty.

Her instant reaction was to panic. After all, things weren’t looking good for her and her sunglasses. However, after a moment, Audrey sighed, knowing that she needed to control herself so that she could think properly about what to do.

Her sunglasses were now only a few feet in front of her, but they might as well have been fifty miles away. She knew from Evie’s prattling on with that research of hers that pigs were very dangerous at night. If one got in their pen and they happened to wake up, then the person would likely only be bones or less when they were found the next morning.

Very begrudgingly, Audrey realized that she was going to have to request help from one of the other girls. All dramatics aside, there was a serious risk to her life if the she retrieved the sunglasses by herself.

However, the big question was who she should pick.

Uma was obviously not the choice that Audrey should make. Uma would pick on her terribly for the goose dilemma. Especially when she found out that the glasses were in the pig pen. Audrey was sincerely afraid that Mal was going to act in a similar manner. Jane was a chicken, so she was obviously not a good choice.

Evie, on the other hand, was not an entire chicken, and she was extremely compassionate. Evie would never laugh at her situation and would likely sympathize fully. But she knew Evie was terrified of the pigs…

But Evie was the best option, and she certainly didn’t want to go through the humiliation that would naturally come about as a direct result.

So Audrey headed back for the barn, hoping that the goose didn’t come back and steal her glasses from the pigpen just to mess with her.

She slipped through the crack that she had left in the door, and she climbed up the ladder quietly, trying to keep as silent as possible. Audrey immediately turned left, kneeling down beside the two girls lying there.

Audrey placed her hand on Evie’s shoulder, shaking her gently. Naturally, with Evie being such a light sleeper, the bluenette was easily awoken.

“Wha- huh?” Evie bewilderedly asked, pulling back from her position lying on her side as she squinted at Audrey.

“Evie, I need you,” Audrey informed the bluenette in a whisper. Evie furrowed her brow, considering this statement in her tired mind.

“What is it?” Evie questioned weakly, her voice deep with sleep. Obviously, Evie had fallen deeply into the hold of sleep during the time that Audrey had been outside. Audrey sighed, looking down as she tried to work through her pride that was about to take an increasingly large amount of injury.

“I need you to help me,” Audrey told the other girl shortly.

“Is it of immediate need?” Evie inquired not impatiently but with as much kindness as could be mustered considering the fact that she had been woken up way too fast after falling asleep.

“Well, _I_ think so.”

“Okay, then. What is it?” Evie questioned softly, turning over so that she was on her back to better look at Audrey as she placed her hands on her face in an attempt to gather herself. Audrey spared a glance in Mal’s direction, making sure that the faerie just beside the bluenette wasn’t waking up.

Fortunately for the pink princess, Mal was out like a light.

“I lost my sunglasses,” Audrey started, and Evie took one hand away from her face.

“You know I value fashion, but can’t it be searched for in the morning? I’m losing beauty sleep,” Evie whined quietly, and Audrey rolled her eyes.

“They’re in the pig pen, and I need you to come out with me to get them,” Audrey told her immediately, and Evie’s eyes widened as she grew immediately more alert.

“Pig pen?!” Evie cried, and Audrey dove forward, covering Evie’s mouth with a hand as she immediately shushed Evie. Audrey glanced about at all of the sleeping people around them to ensure that Evie hadn’t awoken them. She removed her hand from Evie’s mouth after a moment, allowing her to speak.

“The pig pen!” Evie whisper-yelled, gaping at Audrey. Audrey rolled her eyes and nodded.

“Yes, the pig pen,” Audrey replied simply.

“Okay… Well, I’ll be going back to bed,” Evie started, starting to turn back over on her side. Audrey grabbed her shoulder quickly, stopping her from moving.

“That goose took my sunglasses, and he dropped them in the pig pen,” Audrey explained quickly, and Evie immediately froze, returning to her position on her back as she looked at Audrey with a serious expression.

“Elmer?” Audrey just nodded, knowing that she now had Evie hooked. Evie furrowed her brow and considered this for a moment. “I’ll help you. I won’t let that stupid goose mess up my friends.”

“Okay, let’s go,” Audrey whispered, and Evie scooted out of the sleeping bag, careful not to disturb Mal, and she searched through her nearby suitcase before pulling out a pair of slippers.

They both left the barn, Evie in her nightgown and slippers, and Audrey in her pajamas and slippers. The two girls hurried out into the night, silently going over to the pig sty.

However, when they reached the fence, Evie was having second thoughts. Audrey quickly caught sight of her sunglasses, and she pointed them out to the bluenette. Evie hadn’t taken her eyes off of the pigs laying over on the other end of the fence asleep.

“Well, Evie, go on in. I’ll stand watch and make sure they don’t get you,” Audrey proclaimed in a tone that she hoped sounded generous. Evie raised an eyebrow at her and shook her head.

“No. I’m not going in _there_ by myself. Those things will eat you,” Evie informed Audrey. The pink princess sighed, knowing that there was no way that she was going to get out of stepping through the pen.

“Okay. We go in together, then,” Audrey finally agreed, and Evie nodded resolutely.

They were quiet for a few minutes, just staring at their task. After the silence and stillness had dragged out for too long, Audrey decided it was time to go in.

“Alright. Are you going in first?” Audrey asked, really hoping that Evie would take one of those stances of compassion and be the sweet self-sacrificer that Audrey knew she could be.

“Oh, beauty before age,” Evie curtsied in her nightgown, gesturing at the pen.

“Age before beauty,” Audrey replied just as politely and sweetly as she could muster.

“Pink before blue,” Evie responded.

“Sweet before sour,” Audrey told her, more than willing to call herself sour in this situation.

“English before math.”

“Designers before wearers.”

“Gucci Flora before Chanel Number Five.”

“Chipped nail polish before no nail polish.”

“Taken before single.”

“Okay, this is getting ridiculous. Let’s just both get in there,” Audrey told her, trying to keep quiet as she could as she hesitantly started to attempt to climb the fence. Evie easily started up the fence but paused as she was about to step down on the other side.

“Come on, Evie, it’s not that deep, I’m sure,” Audrey reassured her, hoping for Evie to step in first. Audrey honestly had no idea how deep it was, but it couldn’t have been that deep because her sunglasses didn’t sink in.

“What about my slippers?”

“I’m sure they’re not going to get that muddy. It’s thin enough to protect your shoes, I bet,” Audrey asserted.

Evie looked at her uncertainly but stepped down from the fence into the mud with both feet before she realized just how giant of a mistake that was. Evie froze as her entire foot up to mid-calf was submerged in mud. Evie winced and resisted the urge to whine.

Obviously, the only reason that Audrey’s glasses hadn’t sunk was because it was so thick.

“My shoes!” Evie cried in a whining whisper, and Audrey rolled her eyes with a sigh, making sure that she took off her slippers before she stepped in.

“You have four more just like it at home!”

“How do you know?” Evie questioned, huffing.

“I’ve been in your closet a million times,” Audrey whispered back. They both jumped suddenly when they heard one of the pigs snort. They stared at the group of hogs, and they realized that the creatures were only snoring. At that point, Evie almost turned around and got out of the fence, but Audrey caught her gaze pleadingly.

“Evie. Please? For me? And revenge on Elmer?” Audrey requested, and Evie’s eyes hardened at the thought of the goose that had so aggravated her those past few days.

“Okay, let’s get them,” Evie replied quietly, and they started through the mud. However, before long, Evie figured out that it wasn’t efficient to keep walking in the slippers that only seemed to be weighing her down.

So Evie carefully stepped out of them as she walked along beside Audrey, bare feet and partially bare legs alongside the pink princess’ pajama-clad legs. They tried to very quietly squelch through the mud, and after a few moments they finally reached the sunglasses.

“Yes, yes, yes!” Audrey whispered enthusiastically as she bent over carefully, snatching them up and grinning widely as she examined them. There was not a single scratch or any harm done to them outside of the mud that could be washed away.

Evie offered her a happy thumbs-up, but Audrey could easily tell that the bluenette was scared to death of the animals sleeping not too far from them. Audrey was, too, but she was currently too absorbed in the reacquisition of her sunglasses to be too worried.

“Let’s get out of this hole before they wake up,” Evie told her softly. Audrey nodded in response, and they started back toward where they had come.

But before they got to the fence, Audrey’s foot caught on something in the mud. Before she could grab onto anything, she lost her balance and down she went into the mud, face-first as she covered her whole front including her face in the mud.

Evie’s eyes widened, and she gaped at the princess. Audrey raised her mud-covered face from the muck and she instinctually yelled in pure frustration.

“Evie! Your dang slippers!” Audrey screeched, and Evie’s eyes went wide as her gaze shot to the pigs.

The creatures were starting to stand up, looking around wildly as they attempted to spot the source of the noise.

“AUDREY, RUN!” Evie screamed, forgoing all semblances of silence in favor of grabbing Audrey’s arm and pulling her up from the mud as fast as she could. They were moving much too slowly through the mush, and the more they struggled, the slower they seemed to go.

“HOLY CRAP, WE’RE GOING TO DIE!!!” Evie screeched, and Audrey almost screamed as well as she heard the pigs’ snorting not too far behind them. They rushed through the mud as fast as they could pull their feet from its nasty hold.

Evie was the first one over the fence, and she nearly jumped it in her haste to escape. She swiftly turned around, beckoning Audrey over as she fearfully spotted the pigs approaching behind the pink princess.

“AUDREY, HURRY!” Evie yelled, and Audrey kept trying as she grew ever closer to the fence. The fact that her entire front was covered in mud and weighing her down wasn’t helping her situation.

“I’M HURRYING!!!” Audrey shot back at her in a scream as she reached the fence. Evie grabbed the princess’s arms and yanked her over the fence, her body flopping over the wood.

Audrey landed hard on her back, and Evie ended up on her behind as they stared at the pig sty, the hogs hurrying about to investigate for them. Audrey gasped for breath, blinking through the absurd amount of mud on her face, and she victoriously noted that her sunglasses were still firmly in her hand.

Evie just giggled somewhat hysterically as she laid back on the grass, her mud-covered legs sprawled out in front of her. Audrey wiped the mud from her eyelids, and she couldn’t help but laugh with Evie, albeit breathlessly.

“We’re alive,” Evie informed her, her voice a bit hoarse from all of the screaming, and Audrey nodded as she tried to get the mud out of her face in the midst of her laughing.

However, before they could consider this wonderful fact in its full glory, there were lights starting to illuminate the dark of the night. The two girls looked toward the light, Evie never getting up as several figures came into view.

To Audrey’s complete and utter embarrassment, Mal, Uma, Jane, George, and Anne were all approaching them, gathering around the two as they stared at them. George and Anne looked extremely bewildered, Mal had a bit of panic in her eyes, Uma had some worry in her features but was mostly tired, and Jane was wide-eyed and completely freaked out.

“Evie? Audrey?” Mal questioned, completely confused as she took in their appearances on the ground.

Evie held up her hand, waving just barely as she used her other hand to ensure that her nightgown was pulled down and not disheveled. It wasn’t that she was embarrassed around the girls, but it’d be a little awkward with the two old people seeing her underwear or something.

“What are you two doing out here?” Mal demanded, her worry shining through.

“And why is she covered in mud?” Jane asked, Uma still rubbing the sleep from her eyes as she took in the sight.

“Well, you see, it’s a funny story… We were in deep doo-doo,” Evie started, and Audrey’s eyes went wide as she paused in the wiping of her face.

“Wait, just stop there now. Did you just say doo-doo?” Audrey questioned, and Evie’s eyes widened as she realized she revealed too much.

“Maybe… Figure of speech?” Evie tried, and Audrey just stared at her strangely for a moment as Mal tried to decipher what had happened.

“Evie, what does that even mean? Did you two get in the pig pen?!” Mal suddenly yelled, completely freaked out as she put two and two together to realize that they were covered in mud right next to the pig enclosure. Evie just grinned one of those one-thousand-watt smiles, all of her teeth glittering as she looked at her best friend guiltily.

Audrey rolled her eyes before finally deciding to admit at least a little of what happened. She was already terribly humiliated, and there was absolutely nothing she could do about it at this point.

“I lost my sunglasses and they ended up in the pig pen,” Audrey informed the group. Anne and George shared a glance, worried, but it suddenly seemed to dawn upon them exactly what had happened as their worried looks melted away in favor of amused expressions.

“How exactly?” Uma piped up finally, an eyebrow raised as she looked at the princess with the slightest hints of a grin on her face.

“It just happened,” Audrey replied firmly, and Evie started to raise up just barely, propping up on her elbows as she looked between the pirate and the princess. She was curious how Audrey was going to avoid explaining this one.

“I’ll bet that our goose took her sunglasses when she wasn’t looking. He’s been known to steal,” George piped up, and Audrey resisted the urge to shoot him an ungrateful glance. After all, she was taught to be mindful to her elders.

Uma’s grin started to very slowly spread across her face as she no doubt considered all of the options that this situation gave her.

“So why did you fall in the mud?” Mal prodded, still wondering about that fact.

“Because Evie with her dumb slippers left them in the mud for me to trip over!” Audrey explained exasperatedly, terribly embarrassed as she glared at Evie. Evie’s eyes widened as she looked at the princess.

“What? I tried to help you!”

“Well, you could’ve taken them off outside the fence!” Audrey told her, and Evie sat up, furrowing her brow at Audrey.

“Excuse me, but I didn’t want to walk in pig poop mud!” Evie replied defensively, and both of the girls’ eyes widened. Audrey’s mouth dropped open and Evie winced, realizing that the damage had already been done.

“YOU DIDN’T TELL ME I WAS WALKING IN PIG POOP!!!” Audrey screeched, and Evie glanced at Mal helplessly. Mal was currently trying to hold back laughter, and Uma was grinning from ear to ear. Jane was giggling to herself quietly. George and Anne just shared a humor-filled glance.

“YOU DIDN’T TELL ME I FELL IN PIG POOP!!!” Audrey screamed, and Evie just winced, holding out her hands placatingly.

“It wouldn’t have been nice to tell you that when your whole front was coated in it!” Evie cried, and Audrey stood up, her hands on her hips as she glared at the bluenette. Evie got up behind her, approaching Mal, and Mal held out her hands, grabbing Evie’s shoulders before she got close to her with her mud-covered legs.

“Let’s get you two washed off so you can go get a shower,” Mal informed her, and Evie nodded with a slight smile that quickly dissipated as she noticed Audrey’s enraged face.

“There’s a couple of hose pipes over by the barn that y’all can use,” George pointed over in the general direction of the barn that the girls were sleeping in.

The girls nodded to him, and bade the two goodnight, apologizing for creating such a ruckus. Audrey was stomping along at the back of the group, and Evie walked alongside Mal, knee-deep--- no pun intended--- in a detailed narrative describing just how terrified she had been.

Uma listened to them for a moment before slowing her pace so that she was walking alongside Audrey. Audrey didn’t even have to look at her to know that she had an enormously smug grin on her face.

“Hey, Audrey?” Uma finally piped up.

“Don’t talk to me,” Audrey immediately replied, never taking her eyes off of the back of Evie’s head.

“I’ve got a lil’ something for you. Just a tiny nickname.”

“No.”

“But it’s wonderful!”

“Just don’t.”

“Can I tell you what it is?”

“No. Just shut up,” Audrey shortly responded, cutting her off. Or so she thought. After a few seconds, she suddenly heard Uma’s voice close to her ear.

“Miss Piggy.”

Audrey turned toward the pirate and Uma’s eyes widened, realizing that she had gone too far. Audrey started to come toward her, and Uma took off running, knowing that the princess was about to grab onto her and spread all of her pig poop mud on her.

Evie and Mal watched them running around like crazy people in the night, and Evie turned to Mal, her eyes wide as she reveled in Audrey’s fast movement.

“Where was that kind of running when she was in the pig pen?”


	13. Day Four: Morning

It was the next morning and Evie was the first one awake. It was earlier than they usually woke up, so she decided that she’d let the rest of them sleep. Evie slowly arose from her place inside Mal’s sleeping bag, running a hand through her somewhat tousled, silky hair that was washed just last night.

It had been so pleasant to take a shower after all of that mess with the pigs. She knew that they could have been in some serious danger with those creatures during the nighttime, and it was a real gamble to go out into their sty to get a pair of sunglasses. But she and Audrey had made it, and she was wonderfully thankful for it. It was even kind of thrilling and a bit fun after they were through. But not really that fun.

Evie raised her arms above her head, relaxing as she stretched them as far as they could reach. She looked down at Mal, a soft smile on her face as she gazed at the asleep girl.

Evie gently ran a hand through Mal’s hair before getting up from her place in the bag. She walked over to the window slowly, ambling in the aisle between sleeping bags, and she looked out of it.

It was gorgeous outside, and she noticed that the cows were gathered nearby the fence. She smiled widely as she caught just the barest glimpses of a calf that looked similar to the one that they had worked together to birth in the pasture. Evie angled her head, trying to see it just a bit better. However, she very disappointedly noted that she couldn’t spot it from her place in the barn.

So Evie decided that she’d go outside and look. Or at least look through the window at the bottom level of the barn so she wouldn’t spook them.

Evie snuck past the girls, and climbed down the ladder carefully, her bare feet not making a single sound as she crept. She reached the bottom of the ladder, and she stepped carefully over to the window, her eyes locked on the group of cows.

It was strange. The girls had never stopped to look out the windows of the barn before, much less actually walk up to them, and Evie was pleased to be the first one to make use of them. After all, it was their fourth official day here outside of the evening that they arrived.

However, she was not pleased at all when she suddenly stepped down on something that stabbed into her foot deeply, definitely breaking skin as it lodged itself deeply.

Against her greatest attempts not to, Evie cried out loudly in pain, hitting the ground as she grabbed her ankle tightly in an attempt to avoid her feet. Evie whimpered in pain, her eyes watering as she tried valiantly not to cry.

“Evie? Evie?!” Mal called, out of the bag and leaning over the edge of the ladder on her hands and knees as she looked down to where Evie was.

“Evie! Oh, crap!” Mal immediately climbed down the ladder and ran over to the girl. Uma was quickly behind her, Jane and Audrey coming after the pirate.

Mal got down on her knees next to Evie, grabbing Evie’s hands firmly in her own as she tried to pry the girls’ fingers away from her foot. She felt her stomach plummet as she spotted a board stuck to the bottom of the girl’s foot.

“Evie, let me see,” Mal informed her, trying to keep the panic from her voice. This strongly reminded her of when Evie broke her paw as a dog, and it wasn’t a good memory to call back at this moment. It turned out okay in the end, but as a human, there were a variety of consequences that could occur. Especially with a board hanging out of the girl’s foot.

“No, it hurts! M, I don’t know what happened, I stepped on something! And there’s a board!” Evie cried, and Mal noticed that there was blood pooling around the bluenette’s boarded foot.

Mal looked at Uma, her eyes wide as she stared at the pirate. Uma sighed, looking more awake than she had been earlier as she forcefully placed her hand on Evie’s ankle, holding down Evie’s hands on the leg. Mal reached for Evie’s upper body as she clung onto the girl.

Audrey almost gasped as the girls moved just enough for her to see the blood surrounding Evie’s foot along with the board. Jane’s eyes went wide with concern as she looked at Evie.

“What is it with you and your feet? You must have a size sixteen,” Uma attempted to make light of the situation a bit, despite the fact that she was very worried about what was wrong with the girl’s foot. She knew it had to have been a nail, but it was still very bewildering.

Uma lifted Evie’s ankle carefully to examine the bottom of her foot, and she immediately winced at the sight of a nail in the tiny crack between Evie’s foot and the board, just barely hanging out. Evie was now laying back into Mal’s arms against her chest, and she was trying not to whine as she held on tightly to Mal’s legs, arms, or anything that she could wrap her hands around.

“Uh… Well, I don’t really know what to say,” Uma started, very much not wanting to bring attention to the fact that there was a loose nail in the Evie’s foot.

“How about you start with what the heck is going on with her foot?” Mal demanded, her tones starting out sweet as honey and ending with a bit of a bite. Evie closed her eyes, pressing her head back against Mal’s chest as she agonized over the injury.

“Okay. She’s got a nail stuck to a board stuck in her foot,” Uma informed the other girl shortly, shrugging her shoulders sassily as she put it to Mal bluntly as a result of Mal’s attitude in her voice. Audrey started pacing upon hearing that, freaking out over Evie’s injury as she tried to think of the logical thing to do.

Evie immediately started belly-aching and panicking as she tried to catch sight of her foot in Uma’s grasp.

“A nail?! Is there blood? Oh, I don’t feel so good, M,” Evie informed the purple-haired girl, and Mal knew that Evie wasn’t far from passing out simply because of Evie’s track record with her own blood and needle-like things.

“Evie, don’t look at your foot,” Mal gently commanded, trying to protect her best friend from fainting.

But, as it is prone to happen when someone demands that one not look at something, Evie looked at her foot. Her eyes widened as she took in the sight of the board almost completely flush against it.

“Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh,” Evie just kept repeating to herself, almost passed out at this point as she leaned hard back against Mal. Mal looked between her and Uma, panicking as she held onto Evie tightly.

Uma swallowed hard as she examined the foot. She sighed, knowing that she needed to do something but not sure of what.

“We’ve got to get her to a hospital, a doctor, something!” Audrey proclaimed, and Uma sighed as she looked back at the princess. Jane was looking awfully pale, almost as pale as Evie, and she didn’t utter a single word.

“So, how are we supposed to do that?” Mal demanded, throwing a hand up as she used the other one to stroke Evie’s head comfortingly. “She’s got a friggin’ board hanging off of her foot.”

“Oh, my gosh, a board,” Evie broke her chant with an extra few words. Mal brought her other hand back to Evie’s face, stroking Evie’s skin with her fingers as she tried to calm her down.

“You already knew that, E,” Mal told her, but Evie was still stuck on her oh-my-gosh-ing.

“Well, I know the logical answer to the board,” Uma informed them, and Evie’s eyes widened as Uma placed her hands on either side of the board.

“No, no, no, no, Uma. When someone’s been impaled, you don’t pull out the object- OWWWW!!!!” Evie screeched as Uma yanked out the board swiftly. Uma winced, disgusted at the sight of Evie’s foot and the board that was covered in blood.

Evie raised her head up to look at Uma’s board that she had in her hands, and Evie’s eyes went ridiculously wide as she took in the sight of her own blood. Evie blinked a few times before her eyes rolled into the back of her head, and she fell backwards into Mal’s hold.

Mal furrowed her eyes, swallowing hard at the sight of the board. Uma threw it over toward the corner, disposing of it as she tried to avoid looking at it. Uma returned her gaze to Evie’s foot and noticed it was steadily bleeding quite possibly more than it was before.

“Okay, somebody get some bandages, and we’ll wrap this puppy up,” Uma told them, examining her bloodstained hands with some disgust. Mal looked down at Evie, running her fingers gently through the soft blue hair.

“No, we’ve got to go to the hospital,” Audrey insisted. “Look at the bleeding! Besides, now she needs a Tetanus shot!”

“Haven’t you ever heard of toughing it out? And besides all that, what’s a dang tetanus shot?” Uma demanded, and Audrey paused in her pacing to face the pirate.

“You get it after being exposed to rust in your bloodstream. That nail was probably rusty since it seems to have fell from some support above,” Audrey informed her, and Uma looked up, spotting the place that it must have fallen from.

“Well, we’re definitely going to the hospital,” Mal offered her verdict.

“She’s not nearly as weak as you think. She’d probably be able to last through it just fine,” Uma pushed through, expressing her opinion surrounding the subject. Uma was somewhat afraid to take Evie to the doctor, especially considering that she had no idea about going to one. Uma wasn’t sure if she was ready to entrust Evie to someone that none of them knew.

“Yeah, I know, but she’s a wimp,” Mal replied, and Evie slowly stirred back to life, just barely coming back as she raised her head up slightly.

“Wimp? Who’s a wimp?” Evie slurred a bit as she came back to consciousness. Mal rolled her eyes at the girl but stroked her head.

“You, honey, you’re a wimp,” Mal informed her sweetly, and Evie raised an eyebrow a bit as she took some offense to the statement, despite the fact that her mind was barely with them.

“I’m not a wimp.”

“Anyway, we’re going to get her a shot,” Mal informed them all as she looked back up. She offered a particularly pointed stare to Uma, and Uma looked away, not pleased with her decision. Evie was immediately infinitely more alert, and she jerked backwards, unconsciously putting her feet on the floor and pushing backwards as she tried to escape.

“No! No shots!” Evie cried, backing up and yelping as she hurt her foot in her haste.

“Ow! M, I don’t need a, uhhh… Shot,” Evie informed the other girl quickly, looking as if she might pass out again at the very thought of a needle penetrating her skin.

“Evie, tetanus can kill you!” Audrey told her desperately, and Evie furrowed her brow as she considered that statement, sinking into Mal’s hold comfortably. Mal felt her stomach twist uncomfortably with the thought, and she knew that she was ready to get Evie to the hospital as soon as possible.

“We’re leaving now. You guys get changed, and throw my and her clothes down,” Mal informed them all, and the girls headed up the ladder. Evie sat there on the floor, Mal lingering there with her as she stroked Evie’s head comfortingly. Evie leaned her head against her heavily. Mal kept a close eye on her foot, noticing that the bleeding was just slow and continuous instead of fast and flowing.

Uma threw them a pile of clothes from the top of the ladder, and Mal started to change quickly.

As soon as she was through, she turned and started to help Evie into hers. Fortunately, Evie had thought to pack herself some shorts, which Mal was eternally thankful to Uma for finding them and to Evie for thinking of them. Once Evie had her shorts and the rest of her clothes on, the other girls came down, fully dressed. Mal nodded to them, helping Evie sit up.

“Uma, help me,” Mal instructed, and Uma approached one side of Evie as Mal grabbed the other side. Between them both, Evie was soon balanced on one leg, holding onto the two girls beside her tightly.

Mal subtly looked down at the blood staining the floor and shared a glance with Uma. Uma subtly nodded as they both started toward the door.

Audrey held it open for them, and Uma and Mal guided Evie through it carefully, one of her feet on the ground as she limped along with them. Once they were out on the grass, they started for Evie’s Jeep.

However, before they could get too far, Anne and George came outside, worried looks on their faces as they approached.

“What happened?” George asked.

“Is she okay?” Anne added.

“We heard screaming at the house, so we came out to see what was happening.”

“Evie stepped on a nail hanging out of this board and we’re taking her to a hospital. We’ll be back, we’ve just got to get this taken care of,” Mal informed them all, and Evie held on to faerie a bit tighter at the thought of the nail that stabbed into her.

“Oh, my! Here, let me get you dears a towel to wrap around it,” Anne fussed over them, hurrying back to the house as George launched into directions to the nearest hospital.

By the time that Anne returned, George had finished his monologue, and Mal and Uma were growing a bit tired from holding the girl up.

“Here you go,” Anne told them, leaning down and wrapping the towel around Evie’s foot as she tried to tie the cloth around the front part of her foot.

Evie winced, biting back the groan at the tightening of the towel around her foot, and Mal stroked Evie’s back with her fingers comfortingly. Evie looked at Mal gratefully, her eyes locking onto Mal’s own.

_Honk_!

Evie looked down at the goose that was staring up at her inquisitively. It tilted its head as it eyed her strangely. Evie was a bit conflicted about how to feel toward him at first, but with the way he was looking at her, she couldn’t help but think that he must be feeling some sort of sympathy for her.

“Aww, are you actually worried about me?” Evie questioned sweetly, thinking that perhaps he had changed his ways after all. The goose tilted its head before rushing forward suddenly, biting her behind hard.

“OW! You little honker! Pick on a girl while she’s down, will you? Get out of here!!!” Evie sent him away, hopping up and throwing her good foot at the goose. He skittled away, honking as he went.

However, Evie landed on her bad foot, and she cried out with a wince. Mal and Uma held onto her tightly to keep her balanced.

George simply chuckled at the goose humorlessly before turning back to the girls.

“Alright… Well, y’all be careful,” George told them, and Mal nodded to him as they headed over to the Jeep.

Once they got to the blue Renegade, Evie leaned toward the driver’s door. Uma and Mal immediately pulled against her, and she looked back at them questioningly.

“I’m driving. Charlene’s my car,” Evie informed them as if it were the most obvious fact in the world.

“Yeah, but you are in no shape to drive,” Mal told her shortly as Audrey pulled open the back door.

“M, I’m good to drive, I’m telling you. I’m an excellent driver,” Evie insisted, and Mal rolled her eyes as they got her into the back seat in the middle.

“I am sure,” Mal heaved herself up into the Jeep so that she was sitting next to the injured girl, “that you are, but for safety’s sake, let someone else drive today.”

Audrey shut the door after Mal got in, and she started for the driver’s door. However, Uma was quickly in her way, her hand on the door handle. Uma raised an eyebrow at the princess.

“You ain’t seriously thinking that you’re gonna drive, are you?” Uma questioned, and Audrey put her hands on her hips, tilting her head slightly as she stared the pirate down.

“Go on now, get over there, shotgun. We don’t have time for this monkey business,” Uma shooed her away, opening the door and getting into the driver’s seat. Audrey furrowed her brow but quickly complied despite her personal thoughts around the subject, heading over to the passenger seat.

Before long, everyone was in and on the road to the hospital. Evie was in the backseat between Mal and Jane, and Mal was running her fingers through Evie’s hair gently in an attempt to keep her calm. Evie kept shifting uncomfortably in her seat as she attempted to avoid looking at her foot wrap.

Once they got into a nearby town that wasn’t the old-fashioned one that they had went to the other day, they were caught by a red light, and Uma had to stop quickly. It had come on before Uma really knew what had happened, and it was a rather abrupt halt.

Evie was immediately aware of the stress that must have occurred with her brakes, and she raised up a bit as she stared at Uma.

“Be careful with my brakes! I just got them replaced recently!”

“Okay, just calm down some, Blue,” Uma replied to her simply, somewhat amused at the girl but very glad that she didn’t seem to be dying on them.

“I’m telling you, I could drive, M,” Evie told the faerie, and Mal rolled her eyes and rested her chin on Evie’s shoulder fondly.

“I know.”

“She’s abusing Charlene,” Evie informed her, and Mal almost laughed in something between amusement and stress.

“You are aware that this thing’s not alive,” Uma stated in a manner that was more of a question. Evie was immediately huffy and somewhat offended as Uma took off as soon as the light turned green.

“Charlene has a soul, Uma.”

“How does an inanimate object have a soul exactly?”

“I don’t know. How does Mal have the ability to keep a dragon inside of her and call it out upon her every whim?” Evie questioned, and Mal was relieved to see that the girl was keeping her intelligent, debating spirit in the midst of her panic surrounding getting a shot.

“She does have a point,” Mal spoke up, and Uma rolled her eyes, but Mal noticed the small smile on her face in the rearview mirror.

Uma parked in front of the hospital, and they all got out carefully. A valet came up to them, and Uma reached to him, giving him the keys. Very unfortunately, Evie caught sight of Uma handing her keys to her car over to some stranger, and her eyes went wide as she started trying to hobble over to her.

“No! Hey, no! No stranger puts their hands on my Charlene!” Evie cried out, fighting against Mal, and Mal was barely holding her back.

The valet looked very much creeped out by Evie and mesmerized by the sight of the queen, so Uma shrugged, patting him on the shoulder as she pulled him out of whatever thoughts he must’ve been having.

“It’s okay. She’s not feeling so good. That’s why we came,” Uma joked with a slight grin before pushing past him to help Mal drag Evie into the facility.

“No! That’s my car! Charlene, baby, Mama’s sorry!!!” Evie reached her hand out to the Jeep as Uma and Mal successfully pulled her inside of the hospital. Audrey looked like she was going to melt to the floor in pure mortification, and Jane was just following along, her face white as a sheet.

When they finally went inside, they were in the emergency room area, and they sat Evie down in a chair, her still whining about her car but now bellyaching about her foot that was hurting as well.

“Be a good girl and stay,” Mal commanded gently, pointing her finger at the bluenette. Evie just pouted at her, and Audrey and Jane sat down not too far from the girl as Uma and Mal headed up to the front desk.

“Hello, how can I- Queen Mal! Queen Mal! Oh, how can I be of service, your majesty?” the man questioned, standing up to bow to her, and Mal smiled tight-lipped at him as she leaned forward. Uma just looked at the faerie with some worry as she stood strong next to the girl.

“My friend stepped on a nail earlier this morning and could have gotten rust in her bloodstream. We need someone to take a look at her, please,” Mal informed him, and he nodded eagerly.

“What’s the patient’s name?” he questioned.

“Genevieve. We all call her Evie, though,” Mal told him, mentally hitting herself at how stupid that must have sounded, and the man smiled at her.

“Of course! We’ll have a room ready for you in just a moment,” he told her quickly, and Mal thanked him kindly before going back over to sit next to Evie.

“Hey, I gotta go to the little girls’ room. I’ll be back in just a sec,” Uma said to Mal, and Mal simply nodded as Uma walked over to the restrooms that she had spotted.

She laced her fingers in Evie’s comfortingly, and Evie rested her head against Mal’s shoulder as she looked around the place somewhat worriedly as she looked down at her foot. One of her feet was clad in a shoe while the injured one simply had the towel wrapped around it. Evie sighed as she shifted her gaze up to Mal.

“Y’know, this reminds me of when I broke my hand- well, paw- as a dog,” Evie acknowledged, and Mal nodded in agreeance, actually having similar thoughts herself.

“Yeah. It really is,” Mal replied as she looked at Evie. At that point, she happened to notice that Audrey was bouncing her leg nervously, her hands folded in her lap in that perfectly princess-like manner. Jane was looking as if she might throw up or pass out from pure nervousness.

Evie followed her gaze, and she reached out to Jane, placing a hand on her knee comfortingly. Jane looked up at her quickly and smiled at her slightly.

“I’m fine, guys. It just hurts a little,” Evie told them, placing her foot on the floor experimentally and pressing down a bit to test its ability to bear weight, but gritted her teeth at the immediate pain. “Well, kind of a lot. But I’ll be okay.”

“We know. We’re just worried about you,” Jane told her, and Audrey nodded, barely stopping in her nervous fidgeting to agree with Evie. Evie’s eyes softened, and she was about to say something else before Uma suddenly rounded the corner, obviously out of the restroom as she winced, looking down at her shoe.

Evie settled her gaze upon her, raising an eyebrow at the pirate as she approached the group.

“Okay, so I think I picked up some disease on my shoe,” Uma announced as she came to a stop in front of them.

“Great, we get our daily update with Uma,” Mal commented sarcastically, and Uma furrowed her brow as she looked down at her shoe.

“No, seriously, my foot’s sticking to the floor. Listen,” Uma instructed as she tapped her foot on the floor. Sure enough, a sticky sound was emanating as she pulled her boot up from the floor.

Mal looked up at Uma, really not understanding why this was such a big deal, but it quickly occurred to her that the pirate was just doing it to distract everyone from Evie’s issue. Everyone was nervous and scared for Evie, and Uma quite apparently realized it since she was resorting to ridiculous things to remove their attention from the situation at hand.

“That’s wonderfully gross,” Audrey expressed, and Mal noted that Uma’s tactic worked wonderfully to pull Audrey from her nervous movement.

“Look, all I’m saying is that y’all don’t go licking my shoes now,” Uma informed them, and Audrey scrunched her nose in disgust as Uma headed over to lounge next to the princess.

“What is wrong with you?” Audrey questioned in disgust, and Uma just looked at her, deadpan.

“I’ve got disease sticking on the bottom of my shoe. Here, look for yourself,” Uma told her, pulling her foot up into her lap as she aimed it at the princess. Audrey immediately started flailing around, trying to knock Uma’s foot back down onto the floor where it went.

“Stop! You are so disgusting!” Audrey cried, finally managing to get Uma’s boot back down. Uma just kept that deceivingly innocent look on her face as she kept trying to show Audrey the bottom of her foot.

Mal smiled as she noticed that Evie was much more relaxed as she watched the two wrestle back and forth. Evie actually looked like she might do what she normally would, and either reprimand them softly or chuckle at the two.

“Excuse me,” a woman suddenly piped up, and Uma and Audrey immediately stopped in their struggling as everyone stopped to look at who had approached them.

It was a middle-aged woman holding a clipboard that looked very nervous to be in the presence of the queen herself.

“If you’re ready, we have a room prepared for you,” the woman informed Mal, her voice a bit shaky as she spoke. Mal smiled at her kindly before standing up with Uma to help Evie out of her chair.

Uma took Evie’s right arm and pulled while Mal took her left arm, and they swiftly hauled her to her feet. Evie wrapped an arm around both of them, and all of the girls made their way into the back in a room.

Evie was soon seated on a hospital bed, and Mal couldn’t help but wonder if she’d be asked to change into a hospital gown. Evie looked terrified, and honestly, Mal couldn’t blame the girl. It was a scary thing to have a nail stabbed into one’s foot and then have to enter this sort of place just to get a shot.

Uma, Audrey, and Jane were awkwardly crowded against the wall, trying to find a place they could

Mal walked to one side of Evie’s bed and took her hand gently. Evie’s eyes were wide and she was nearly pale as the sheets she was lying on. Evie looked at the faerie as she swallowed hard.

“I don’t want a shot, M. Shots are like my kryptonite,” Evie told her best friend, and Mal just nodded, knowing there was nothing she could say that would alleviate Evie’s fears.

Jane pulled out her phone and pointed it at Evie, and Audrey furrowed her brow at the girl as she took a picture.

“What are you doing?” Audrey demanded, her voice a harsh whisper as she looked at Jane.

“Getting a picture for the boys,” Jane told her defensively, and Audrey rolled her eyes, personally thinking that it was a very bad time to pick for gaining evidence.

Before long, a doctor came in, and he had a bandage to wrap around Evie’s foot as well as a syringe in his hand. Evie looked like she might pass out upon the very sight of the syringe, despite the fact that it did not have anything in it or a needle in it yet. Evie’s grip tightened on Mal’s hand, and Mal winced slightly as her hand was uncomfortably crunched in Evie’s grip.

“Don’t worry, Miss Genevieve, we’ll have you in and out of here in no time,” the doctor jovially assured her as he worked at the nearby counter. Evie could commend him for his speediness and his bedside manner, but she really wasn’t pleased with the fact that she’d be getting a shot so soon.

The doctor turned toward her, some disinfectant wipes in his hand as he gently removed the towel wrapped around her foot. Evie squirmed a bit at the sight of the smeared blood on her foot, and Mal could see that she was starting to look a bit weak.

He wiped at her foot gently before throwing the wipes into the nearby garbage can. He turned to the counter and took the wrap before starting to wind it around her foot. Evie tried her best to keep her foot still, but she was having a hard time doing so as she gritted her teeth hard.

Despite all of that, she was handling it better than Mal expected. Mal guessed that Evie was indeed tougher than Mal had originally thought.

“Alright, now. That’s taken care of,” the doctor happily told them, and Evie nodded slightly, almost forgetting about the shot now that she had went through so much discomfort with her foot getting wrapped.

“Now for the fun part,” he told them in a bit of a mumble. Mal suspected that he had seen the way that Evie had looked at the syringe in his hand.

He turned to her once again and exposed her shoulder underneath her short-sleeved shirt before wiping her arm with a disinfectant wipe. Evie’s eyes went wide as she started to realize exactly what the man was preparing for. Evie started to back up instinctively, and Mal held onto her a bit tighter. Uma, Audrey, and Jane stepped forward a bit, ready to help Mal if Evie got too out of hand.

Once he had the substance and the needle in place, he turned toward Evie carefully, looking genuinely regretful of what he was about to do to her.

“Oh, sir, please! I don’t need a shot! I’m not dying! I’m healthy as a horse! Healthier than a horse, actually!” Evie insisted, and Mal could feel the girl’s grip weakening in her hand as Evie kept her gaze locked onto the giant needle. Mal knew Evie would likely be passed out by the time that the man actually stuck the needle into her.

“I’m sorry, ma’am, but you have to have this. Tetanus causes your mouth to lock shut from muscle spasms,” the doctor told her, approaching closer.

“Sir, listen, I am sure that it does, but is there another way to avoid the, um… Really big shot?” Evie questioned, and Mal gazed at the girl sadly.

“There’s really no other way,” the man chuckled a bit at her, and readied the injection as he neared the skin of her shoulder.

“Don’t poke me! Please! That’s way too big of a needle! M, that’s… that’s a big needle. A big… big… needle,” Evie told her as she fixated on the pointy object that was nearly touching her skin. Evie was breathing hard and as soon as it actually broke skin, Evie fainted.

The man administered the injection quickly and wiped her skin carefully with disinfectant once again as he looked for something to place over where he had given her the shot.

Uma chose that moment to lean over near Mal and whisper as she watched the doctor’s back carefully.

“Do you think we could infect her with lockjaw without the deadly consequences? She sure talks an awful lot.”

Mal actually laughed out loud at that comment, earning several strange looks.


	14. Day Four: Afternoon

“Seriously, you guys, I feel better than ever before. I don’t know what he gave me at the hospital, but I feel like Wonder Woman,” Evie told them, practically bouncing as she got out of the car in a flourish.

Mal shared a somewhat bedraggled glance with Uma, wishing that the bluenette would shut up. Between her nervous breakdown about the shot and her painkillers--- that were obviously too strong, by the way--- Evie hadn’t stopped talking since they got in the car. And she was talking when they got lunch at a fast food restaurant. And she was talking the whole way back.

And Mal honestly wasn’t sure how much more she could take of this.

“It’s a true miracle, you know. I could take on the world right now,” Evie explained to them, but stepped a little too hard on her right foot and she winced hard.

“Well, maybe not the world. Let’s settle for the nation,” Evie amended, and she turned to Mal with a giant grin.

“We’re all glad you’re feeling better, but could you please not feel so good for about five seconds? I need to empty my ears after the overload of words that have went into them,” Uma told the bubbly girl. Evie just smiled at her happily, staying silent for a moment and Mal heard Evie counting under her breath.

Mal rolled her eyes at Evie’s ridiculousness, noticing that George and Anne were coming out of the farmhouse to see them.

“Oh, look! There’re our favorite friends! How are you guys?!” Evie cried out to them, waving excitedly as they approached.

“You sure we couldn’t get her jaw locked?” Uma asked, and Mal just elbowed her since the pirate hadn’t used as much discretion as she had before, and Evie could possibly hear her. Of course, the elbowing was half-hearted, because by now, Mal was ready for Evie to shut up at all costs. She loved the girl, but good grief, she could be positively irritating with all of the incessant blabber.

Audrey came over to the other side of the car, her nostrils flared and her eyes having a positively crazed look to them. Ultimately, she seemed like she might start tearing her hair out at any moment.

“You ain’t looking so good,” Uma pointed out unhelpfully after a moment. Audrey’s gaze snapped to Uma’s own, and Uma looked a bit worried as the princess glared at her.

“I don’t know if I’m going to make it for the rest of the day, much less the rest of this bet,” Audrey proclaimed to Uma and Mal.

Even sweet, innocent Jane seemed like she had enough of Evie’s yammering, her miserable face telling all that they needed to know.

“Hey, Anne! Hey, George! I lived to see today!!!” Evie called, and Mal resisted the urge to facepalm after Evie’s statement.

“Good for you, dear,” Anne replied as they grew closer, and Evie smiled widely as she clasped her hands in front of her.

“I didn’t bleed out or get lockjaw and die! Gosh, imagine if I would’ve gotten lockjaw! I would have probably fell over and died just from not being able to talk! Can you imagine what a day that would have been?” Evie marveled aloud, a sparkle in her eye as she looked at the old people. They shrugged at her, nodding along as they realized that she was very obviously on some sort of painkiller.

“No, I could not imagine the beauty and the gloriousness of that day,” Uma uttered in response, high enough for Mal and Audrey to hear but just low enough to keep Evie from overhearing it. Mal bumped the pirate with her shoulder in a scold, but she couldn’t help but agree with Uma. Audrey nodded wholeheartedly in agreeance with Uma.

“M, thank you for not letting me die,” Evie heartfeltly expressed, and Mal could see that look in her eyes that was so not Evie and so not present with them right now. Mal smiled at her, a bit strained as she walked over to the bluenette and the two old people.

“Evie got some pain medication and she’s not quite herself,” Mal explained to Anne and George. George shared a fond glance with Anne as they watched Evie just look around at the farm and grin widely.

“Yeah, I’m guessing she doesn’t handle medication well?” George questioned, and Mal chuckled a bit as Evie strode over to the cows.

“Hey, M?! There’s our baby cow!” Evie cried as she pointed out into the field. Mal leaned sideways as she tried to see past Evie and the tree nearby her out to the cows.

Sure enough, there was a calf out in the pasture, lying down next to its mother as it snoozed in the sun. Mal couldn’t help but smile at the sight, and Uma, Audrey, and Jane hurried over to the fence to look with Evie.

“Y’know, she’ll stop talking soon enough. When that pain medication wears off in a few, she’ll be tons better,” George informed them, and Mal nodded to him.

“I guess so. I kind of wish I could convince her to go to bed,” Mal expressed with an awkward smile. They both laughed at her in enjoyment of her statement.

The three watched the girls as a white puppy came running over to the group. Uma immediately knelt down with her arms spread out as she let the puppy tackle her front. She allowed herself to fall on her behind as the puppy wagged all over and licked her chin as best as it could, her face angled up so it wouldn’t put its tongue on her mouth.

“She’s awfully fond of her, isn’t she?” Anne pointed out, and Mal looked at her with an eyebrow raised.

“Which one?”

“Either way,” Anne replied with a slight laugh as they watched Uma play with the puppy lovingly. Evie knelt down with her, and the puppy licked her face as well as it could. Evie just laughed almost drunkenly, allowing it to lick her cheeks and nose.

“They love each other a lot, don’t they?” Mal acknowledged with a smile as she watched Uma light up over something in a manner that Mal had never seen her with anything else. Mal couldn’t help but feel a deep sadness for Uma, absently wondering how it would be when Uma had to leave the poor puppy behind.

George just nodded in response as they looked at the four.

“Hey, there’s a donkey in the yard!” Evie yelled, pointing to something that must have been blocked by Charlene. Mal, George, and Anne shared an odd glance as they rounded the edge of the car, and George immediately got a sour look on his face as his eyes rested upon a gray donkey there, pulling up his grass as it grazed.

“Dangit! I told Lester to keep his donkey where it belongs!” George growled, frustrated as he looked at the creature angrily. Mal tilted her head slightly as she eyed the creature. It was strange looking with its way too big ears. It was much smaller than a horse, but it sort of resembled one.

Evie came up to the donkey, looking it over as she smiled at it dopily. It barely spared her a glance as it continued chomping on George’s lawn.

“Dang old Willis,” George muttered as he headed off toward the horse stable, and Mal snorted at the name of the donkey. It was a little strange for an animal to be named that, but Mal guessed that out in the country, things were a little different.

However, Evie did name her car Charlene…

“Willis!” Evie cried, obviously hearing George’s grumblings as she looked at the creature. Uma hesitantly approached Mal’s side as she looked at the donkey, the puppy in her arms.

Mal didn’t even have to look at Uma to know that the girl was scared of the creature. Uma’s body language was much too stiff to be anything but completely uncomfortable with Willis.

“That’s a heck of a name,” Evie pointed out happily, and for the millionth time, Mal wished that the painkillers would wear off.

“Let me get a picture of you!” Evie smiled widely, pulling her phone from her pocket as she aimed it at the donkey. She snapped a picture quickly before texting someone on her phone.

“I sent it to Carlos!” Evie told Mal, a ridiculous look on her face as she gazed at Mal lovingly.

“Good for you,” Mal replied, offering her a thumbs-up.

Just then, George returned with a rope halter and a rope lead for the donkey so that he could be taken back to the neighbor.

George, very irritated, moved to the front of the donkey and put on the halter, the donkey just standing stock-still as it refused to work with him. George finally pulled it on, and he eyed the creature, his jaw set, and Mal immediately knew that he wasn’t in any shape to take the donkey back to the neighbor’s house.

Somehow or another, Evie managed to catch onto this fact as well, and she turned to George, a somewhat silly look on her face.

“Where does Willis’ owner live?” Evie inquired sweetly, and George pointed across the road gruffly. Evie nodded, taking the lead from him gently as she smiled.

He looked at her questioningly, and Uma really wished that Evie hadn’t said anything to the old man. However, he did look like he was ready to punch his neighbor. It must have been an ongoing issue that just kept building in intensity until he was prepared to get physical with the other man now.

“We can take him over,” Evie offered happily, and the old man looked at her strangely.

“Are you sure? He can be a bit of a… well, you know,” the old man told her somewhat sheepishly as he scratched behind his neck. Evie just nodded goofily, assuring him that they could handle it.

The old man headed back for the house, Anne trying to calm him down, and Evie looked at the donkey kindly.

“Come on, Willis, let’s go home,” Evie told him, and started to pull at the lead, heading toward the house across the street.

However, his hooves were locked into the ground, and he wouldn’t budge. Evie stopped abruptly as her arm was stretched in her attempts to pull him. Evie furrowed her brow but yanked a few times on the lead as she tried desperately to make him move.

Audrey and Jane by now had joined Uma and Mal in their watching of Evie, her foot in a bandage and a loose boot as she pulled with all of her might against the sturdy force of the donkey. Uma was almost laughing as she stroked the pup’s head, and Audrey was even snorting somewhat. Mal raised an eyebrow at Evie as she heaved against the force of the donkey.

“C’mon, Willis!” Evie continued to coax, leaning all of her weight into the pull. If Evie’s slight wince was anything to go by, Mal guessed that the painkiller’s effects were starting to wane a bit.

Mal finally took pity on her sister, sharing a pointed glance with Uma. Uma just gazed at her with wide eyes, not wanting to participate in this endeavor at all. She was not prepared to tangle with another animal of the equine family.

Mal just stared at her for a moment, and Uma finally put the puppy down, following Mal and making sure that the faerie was between her and the donkey. Audrey and Jane approached carefully, but Audrey stopped the both of them at Evie’s Jeep.

“Aren’t we going to help them?” Jane questioned confusedly, and Audrey just watched Uma with an evil grin.

“No, we’ll hang back here, I think. I have a feeling that Uma’s about to get in over her head,” Audrey informed the girl quietly as she chuckled under her breath, and Jane just looked at the other three worriedly.

Uma awkwardly stood off to the side of the donkey, trying not to look it in the eye or anywhere near there. Mal, however, walked right beside it and watched Evie straining.

“Mal! There you are! Do you think you could help me?” Evie questioned sweetly, a big grin on her face as she looked at Mal. Obviously not all of the painkiller had dissipated, but she was looking more like herself as she spoke.

“Yeah. Are you sure? You seem to be having such fun,” Mal expressed with a barely held back laugh, and Evie just held onto the lead, allowing herself to hang backward by her arms.

“Yes, please. Go to the back and push,” Evie instructed. Mal went around to the rear end of the creature, not liking her assignment but deciding that the creature wasn’t in any hurry to move which reduced her likelihood of getting kicked.

Uma smiled, allowing herself to relax a bit in relief. Evie didn’t seem to notice her so far, and she might could get out of this entire thing.

“And, Uma, can you pull the lead? I’m going to try getting on top of it to make it move,” Evie informed the pirate, and Uma winced, knowing that she had been spotted. So, Uma very slowly and hesitantly approached the lead.

Evie gave it to her quickly, and she approached the side of the creature, trying her best to mount it bareback. Mal ended up having to push on her behind to help her climb up the creature. Once Evie was finally on its back, she smiled at the donkey, grabbing the short hair of its mane as she lightly kicked its sides.

“Okay, Willis. Mush!” Evie cried, and Mal stopped in her pushing of its behind to stare at the girl.

“Mush? That’s sled dogs,” Mal told her, and Evie’s mouth made a little o as she realized her mistake.

“Okay. Hi-ho, Willis! Away!” Evie cried, making a pose like a real Western star. Mal stopped to see if the donkey seemed to be making any progress, but after realizing it hadn’t budged, she rolled her eyes and kept pushing.

Uma, on the other hand, was trying to work up the courage to pull the lead.

“Uh… No hard feelings, okay?” Uma checked with the donkey, grinning widely in the midst of her nervousness, and the donkey didn’t even look at her as he stood there completely sullen.

Uma then proceeded to yank hard on the lead, leaning her weight into it as she hauled. Mal was pushing on its behind with her shoulder, and Evie kept lightly kicking its sides in an attempt to spur it along.

“Hi-ho, Willis!” Evie called again, kicking its sides a bit harder in an attempt to garner some sort of reaction.

And a reaction they received.

Suddenly, there was this strange whistle building in the donkey’s throat, and Uma stopped what she was doing to look at the creature.

“Look here, donkey, if you start whistling a little tune, then I’m afraid I’ll have to-”

The donkey chose that moment to let loose with one of the loudest and most offensive noises that Uma had ever heard. All three of the girls jumped in surprise, their eyes wide as they stared at the creature. It brayed several times before finally quietening.

Audrey was nearby the Jeep just snorting as she took a picture of Uma’s positively terrified face.

Uma looked at the creature for a moment, still on guard in case it decided to make that gosh-awful racket again. After a moment, she nodded slowly, finally deciding that it wasn’t going to happen again.

“Okay… _Don’t_ do that again,” Uma informed it firmly, and the donkey looked at her in a fleeting glance.

They all started heaving and pushing with all of their might.

However, before long, Mal picked up the most disgusting stench she had ever smelled.

“Oh, my gosh! What is that?!” Mal cried, covering her nose with her free hand as she leaned back against the donkey. She was still pushing, but with not quite as much force. Evie furrowed her brow, sniffing a few times before wrinkling her nose in disgust.

“That is horrible! It’s worse than cow-giving-birth smell!” Mal cried, gagging as she pushed against the donkey.

“Uma? Did you do something I need to know about?” Mal questioned, and Evie looked at Uma questioningly.

“Oh, ho, you’d know if it was me. If it was me, you’d all be dead,” Uma assured them as she yanked at the donkey’s halter. Evie nodded emphatically in agreeance as she turned on Willis’ back to look at Mal.

“It’s true! She almost made me pass out the last time that she pooted,” Evie told them, and Uma and Mal both froze as they considered her phrasing.

“What the heck was that?” Mal questioned, a laugh in her voice as Evie suddenly straightened and attempted to look more proper. Mal knew that Evie was definitely back to herself mostly now. There was no question simply because of how she phrased her sentence and how the bluenette was attempting to look so ladylike in that Evie way.

“I was trying to be a lady.”

“Well, there ain’t no ladylike way to say somebody cut the cheese, so just do like a normal person and say a fart,” Uma told her, pulling on the donkey once again with a large heave. The creature didn’t move, just standing there as still as it had been throughout this entire effort.

“Anyway, she nearly made me pass out, M! We were waiting for you to come to my place, and we were hanging out when she did it. I could have died,” Evie dramatically described to Mal and Uma’s eyes went wide as she considered Evie’s narrative.

“Is that all it takes? Good grief, I can arrange a shutting up,” Uma informed them, and Mal held out a hand in warning.

“No, please do not do that. I am not prepared to pass out,” Mal informed the pirate, and Uma just grumbled, disappointed at having the one chance of making Evie shut up taken away from her.

Mal started to push hard against the donkey’s behind once again, her hands around the donkey’s tail as she tried to gain purchase, and Evie kicked its sides slightly to help along Mal’s pushing.

However, after only a second, the creature’s tail raised up and Mal’s eyes widened as she realized that it was relieving itself.

“Woah, woah, woah!” Mal screeched, holding onto its tail tightly. At her sudden scream and the pulling on its tail, the donkey’s ears laid back and it jumped forward, completely frightened.

Uma screamed immediately, almost falling on her face in her haste to run away as her hands were still wrapped around the lead. Evie lurched forward, her fingers threaded through the donkey’s mane.

“Woah, woah, Willis! STOP!!!” Evie shrieked, and the donkey was even more afraid as Uma took off running through the yard. The lead was still in her hand, and in the midst of the donkey’s pure fear, it followed her swiftly.

Mal flew forward, her knees landing in the fresh pile of dung, and she ended up on her front, lying on the ground in the grass. She looked up, completely dazed as she watched the donkey take off down the road. The animal was hot on Uma’s tail as she ran for her life, casting back terrified glances. Evie was on top of the creature, screaming for somebody to help her and how the donkey took her entirely too seriously with her hi-ho-ing.

Audrey just smiled evilly as she videoed the entire thing.

“HELP!!! HELP ME!!! IT’S A WILD A-”

“LANGUAGE!!!” Evie reprimanded loudly in a scream as she held on for dear life, truly realizing just how much of a pain in the butt that the donkey was.

“I DON’T GIVE TWO FLIPPIN’ POOPS!!! IT’S GONNA EAT ME!!! HELP!!! HELP ME!!!” Uma screamed at the top of her lungs, running down the road as fast as she could as she was completely unaware that she was still holding the lead and essentially guiding the donkey behind her, and Evie screamed along, clinging onto the donkey tightly. Mal let out a deep breath before getting up off of her knees and hurrying after them as well as she could considering that her knees were hurting and the breath was knocked out of her.

“Hee, hee, hee,” Audrey chuckled under her breath, joyful that she had finally managed to get something to use against the pirate captain. And even better, she had managed to get Mal in it as well. Mal hadn’t done anything to her, but it was still fun to use against her just in case.

“Are you sure we shouldn’t help them?” Jane questioned, and Audrey shook her head slowly, her giant smile illuminating her entire face as she got the vengeance that she had so hoped for against the pirate.

“ _Nope_.”

And to top it all off, Uma’s puppy was running after them all, barking as it chased and tried to help in the only way it knew how.

Yes, Audrey definitely got her vengeance.


	15. Day Four: Night

All was quiet that night, but anyone with any intuition could feel the tension in the air. There wasn’t any particular reason for it, but it nevertheless was very much present as they all sat in their respective places.

It could have been the fact that they were all fried from this difficult, stupid bet. It could have been that they were all stressed after they thought Evie was going to die that morning. It could have been how they were not used to spending so much time together in such close quarters that they couldn’t even get a slight bit of alone time outside of a shower or a bathroom trip.

Either way, the tension was most certainly there.

Mal and Evie were sitting nearby one another, Mal looking on her phone while Evie assessed the damage done to her nails. Uma had the puppy upstairs with them once again, and it kept making these little barks as it played. With each yip, Audrey’s body stiffened a little more, and she found that she was getting increasingly irritated with the sound and simply the situation with Uma and the pup.

So finally, Audrey couldn’t stand it any longer- the tension, the barking, farm life, being together too much for too long. She had enough.

“Would you put that stupid dog down on the floor?” Audrey demanded suddenly, and the three uninvolved girls looked up from whatever they were doing as they gauged Uma’s reaction to Audrey’s statement. Uma slowly brought up her gaze from the puppy as she stared at Audrey. Audrey maintained eye contact firmly and confidently, and Uma just tilted her head sideways as she gazed at Audrey offendedly.

“What’re you talking about? She’s staying up here. She’s come up here every night,” Uma pointed out, and Audrey huffed as she narrowed her eyes somewhat haughtily.

“Yeah, that’s exactly my point. It’s been up here every night, and I’m sick of it,” Audrey told her, and she glared at the puppy as it started trying to play with Uma again, its small barks emanating through the room and grating on Audrey’s fried nerves.

“Okay, so let me just ask you, who died and made you Queen?” Uma questioned, offering the puppy the barest of strokes as she watched the pink princess carefully. Audrey took in a breath to respond, but the puppy started to bark, and Audrey grit her teeth.

“Make it shut up!” Audrey raised her voice, and the puppy froze in what it was doing, looking at Audrey somewhat fearfully because of her sudden scold.

Uma’s eyes immediately hardened, and her eyes narrowed as she glared at Audrey. Audrey knew she had gone too far with that, but her pride couldn’t let her apologize for it as quickly as she should have.

Uma wordlessly picked up the puppy, and she walked over to the ladder before climbing down and putting the puppy on the barnwood floor. It looked at her with a confused expression, and Uma only spared it a slight glance of compassion and love before her eyes turned cold as she climbed back up to face off with the princess.

“Audrey, don’t you think you should be a little easier on Uma? The puppy wasn’t hurting anything,” Jane somewhat weakly defended the pirate, and Uma felt her heart soften toward the meek girl. However, Audrey quickly huffed irritably as soon as Uma got to the top of the ladder.

“Great! You’re going against me here, too, huh? Always taking the VKs’ sides. Do you ever think about how I feel?” Audrey snapped, her feelings legitimately hurt that Jane didn’t take her side and that Jane never did seem to take her side. Jane just clammed up immediately in response to Audrey, turning over to face the wall as she curled into her sleeping bag dejectedly.

Uma felt that same softened heart light up in a pure inferno as she glared at Audrey with fire in her eyes. Mal and Evie shared a glance as they watched the exchange.

“Okay. So you want to tell me what the heck you think you’re doing talking to Jane that way?” Uma demanded aggressively, purely angry as she adamantly defended the poor girl.

“This is a fight between us, and she never takes my side or tries to help me in arguments!” Audrey proclaimed, and Uma scoffed, rolling her eyes as she approached the princess more closely.

“Have you ever considered the fact that might be because you’re always the one in the wrong?” Uma questioned somewhat cruelly, and the hot-headed facet of Audrey’s personality flared as she rose to meet Uma’s challenge.

“Oh, you’re one to talk, Miss I-Spelled-The-King-Just-To-Get-Back-at-Mal.”

“That’s funny, as I recall, you were the one that spelled the king just to get back at Mal,” Uma pointed out, and Audrey was growing angrier as she started to get much more invested in the fight.

Evie and Mal, neutrally watching, were both experiencing mixed feelings about this entire subject. Evie felt that both of them had thrown blows that the other didn’t deserve, and that they needed to get along and discuss their differences. However, Mal felt that Audrey caused this whole thing, they both were being inconsolable brats, and on top of that, Mal wasn’t very happy with the fact that they were talking about her in front of her as if she weren’t there at all.

So as Mal grew in her irritation and infuriation, Evie grew in her resolve to stop this fight. Finally, Evie spoke up, interrupting both of them before Mal could have her way with the situation.

“Listen, you both need to calm down-”

“Evie, you need to shut up. This is not your fight!” Audrey proclaimed to the brown-eyed girl.

“Don’t you tell her to shut up! And if it’s not everybody else’s fight, then why do you keep dragging them into it?” Uma questioned, boldly defending the bluenette as she verbally attacked Audrey.

“Yes, now both of you, let’s just sit down for a minute and-”

“Evie, shut up, would you?” Mal told the girl quickly as Uma continued in her argument with Audrey. Evie huffed in her somewhat hurt emotions as she eyed Mal.

“Hey, don’t you tell her to shut up!” Uma piped up suddenly, her irritation now turned to Mal as she spun to face the faerie. Mal glared at Uma determinedly.

“I’ll tell her to shut up if I want to. She’s mine!” Mal announced, and Evie furrowed her brow, not really sure if she liked this terminology. Sure, she liked for her friends to say that she belonged to them- it made her feel loved, wanted, and needed, after all- but she wasn’t sure if it was ideal in this context.

“What if I took her, then? You don’t seem to appreciate her. Share the wealth, stingy gut,” Uma told Mal quickly, crossing her arms over her chest as she didn’t even look at Evie.

“Yes, I do appreciate her! She’s mine! And I so won’t share her!” Mal practically snarled, almost as if she were fighting over her favorite toy, and Evie finally decided that she really didn’t like being referred to as if she could be owned. She liked belonging to someone, but not being owned.

“Guys, I’m not anyone’s property! I am my own woman,” Evie proclaimed, and Mal rolled her eyes as she waved Evie away.

“Shut up, you’re mine,” Mal informed her shortly, and the bluenette just shrank back a bit, feeling very much neglected as a result of her opinion being completely disregarded and uncared for in the face of conflict.

“I think we’ve lost focus on what this whole thing’s about!” Audrey cried, and Uma immediately spun around to face the princess.

“Yeah, it’s all about you, ain’t it, princess?!” Uma announced loudly, and Audrey growled under her breath as she glared at the pirate in pure irritation.

“No, but it’s certainly not about Evie!”

“What? You want to be somebody’s, too, huh, Jealous?”

“No!” Audrey replied adamantly.

“That was your problem with my puppy! You were jealous because nothing wants to get close to your bratty little self! Everything runs for its very peace of mind as soon as you come into view!” Uma pointed out, and Audrey rose to the occasion as she fought against the pirate.

Mal rolled her eyes in complete frustration as she checked her phone. She realized that it was starting to get late, and if she didn’t call one of the boys soon, they’d likely be asleep. Mal furiously tapped at her phone, sick of all of the arguing, hurt feelings, and everything else that they were putting up with right now.

She finally picked Ben out of her calling list, and she started to dial him for a video chat. Audrey and Uma kept picking up in volume, Evie was loud enough with her emotional drama, and Mal finally couldn’t stand it anymore.

“All of you just shut up! Every one of you!” Mal screamed at all of them but mostly at Audrey and Uma.

Evie looked at Mal, deeply hurt at Mal’s lack of consideration for her feelings, and her emotions started to bubble up as tears began to build in her eyes.

“ _Hello_?” Ben answered, a smile on his face as he gazed upon his wife.

“Hi, we’re still here,” Mal told him quickly, turning the phone to show off the chaotic atmosphere around her. Uma and Audrey were having a screaming fest, Jane was in the corner crying, and Evie looked like she was about to shed tears over it as well.

“ _What in the world is going on there_?”

“Nothing good. Love you, bye,” Mal told him quickly, hanging up as she realized that she was in no mood to conversate. Besides that, she couldn’t have even begun to talk because of the girls that were arguing more loudly by the minute.

“Stop! Just stop it now! Every one of you are acting like children! All over some stupid, dumb dog!” Mal screeched at the top of her lungs, her eyes glowing green as she gazed at each girl in turn, and Evie found that she just couldn’t take it anymore. Evie stood up, looking at Mal as her eyes flashed with a fury that was not at all characteristic of herself.

“You just don’t care! Every one of us is having her own personal issues, and all you can think about is getting us to shut up so you don’t have to hear it!” Mal’s eyes widened, and she tilted her head as she felt anger boiling in a pit in her stomach.

Audrey and Uma froze as they stared at Evie, their jaws slack as she told Mal exactly how she was feeling. Jane had even stopped crying in favor of listening to the bluenette.

“Moreover, you nor anyone else here owns me! I don’t think that you are offering us the respect that we deserve as your friends, Mal!” Evie pointed out loudly, and Uma couldn’t decide if she was impressed with Evie standing up for herself or scared that Mal had finally broken Evie’s ever-present calmness.

“I love you, but you’re being insufferable right now! You need to think about how other people feel! You need tolerance for other people, M.”

“Tolerance? Tolerance?! I have to have a whole friggin’ boat full every day just to handle you!” Mal announced, and Uma felt something constrict in her chest as she watched Evie visibly shrink at the words. Audrey was a bit dumbfounded at the fact that Mal had actually lost patience with Evie, the one person that she usually never attacked under any circumstances.

“With you, every day is a dang emotional roller-coaster!” Mal informed her, gesticulating at the bluenette standing there in front of her seated form.

“And about how other people feel, don’t even get me started on that one. I have to hear how you feel about your stupid fingernails of all things! You whine about everything, and I have to bite my tongue because you’re so sensitive that you can’t take the truth!” Mal snapped, and Evie swallowed hard, her throat bobbing with the motion as she raised her head up carefully in an attempt to keep her emotions at bay.

Evie then started for the ladder, not uttering a single word. Mal furrowed her brow.

“Where are you going?!” Mal demanded, and Evie shook her head silently.

“I’m sorry. I just can’t talk to you right now,” Evie finally replied, her voice thick as she spoke.

“That’s funny! You didn’t have any problem unloading just a minute ago!”

“I can’t talk to you right now,” Evie repeated her mantra, her voice shaking as she started down the ladder.

“Evie? Evie?! Come back here!” Mal called angrily, still having more to talk about and unwilling to accept the fact that Evie wasn’t going to discuss it more at this moment.

After a moment, Mal grew silent, just stewing quietly as she frustratedly thought of how everything had gone wrong and just how sick she was of being at this horrible place.

But she couldn’t get too lost inside of her head because Uma finally jumped into action, her emotions getting the better of her as she tried to keep a hold over the intense fury she felt toward Mal surrounding the way the faerie had addressed the bluenette.

“Nice! That’s just real nice!” Uma announced, and Mal immediately hopped up from her place on the floor, approaching the pirate.

“Why are you so worried, huh?!”

“Because you don’t talk to her like that! I won’t let you!” Uma yelled, approaching Mal as the slightly shorter girl’s eyes started to glow.

“Let me? I don’t need your permission to express my feelings! Nobody in this whole world is the boss of me! I do what I want to, when I want to, how I want to!!!” Mal screamed, her face only a few inches away from Uma’s at this point, green eyes locked onto brown ones.

“Yeah, that’s pretty obvious with how you treated your ‘best friend,’ now ain’t it?” Uma mocked, and Mal felt another bout of fury rise in her almost to the point that it blinded her to all else.

“You need to go and mind your own business, Shrimpy! Of course, you’ve never been great at that, have you?!” Mal demanded, and Uma leaned back from her ever so slightly, scoffing as she stared down the purple-haired girl. They glared at each other for a long moment, and Audrey was honestly a little scared that she was about to witness a fist fight. Jane was just staring, almost traumatized as the two loudest and most hot-headed people were in a fight.

“Okay. I’ll mind my own business. I think my business isn’t up here anymore with you people,” Uma informed her, pushing past the faerie. Some of the anger inside Mal dissipated as she truly realized what she had said to Uma. Mal watched her, some of the pure fury dissipated as she watched the pirate approach the ladder.

“I’m going to go out here with Evie, where I belong, and try to fix this. You think about that, Mal,” Uma spat, offering Mal one last glance full of anger and hurt as she climbed down the ladder wordlessly.

Mal breathed in and out deeply as she absently noted Audrey plopping down on her sleeping bag, pulling her knees up to her chest as she closed her eyes. Mal could feel all of the hot irritation escaping her in favor of something so much worse.

Guilt immediately started to eat at her as she slowly eased down on her sleeping bag.

Mal knew that hot-headedness was one of her major faults. It always had been. It was the fault that got her into almost every bit of trouble that she ever managed to find herself in at the Isle. She never thought she’d blow up on Evie or Uma like that, though. She had just gotten so frustrated with everyone, everything, and most of all, their circumstances. She knew it was no excuse, but she hoped that at least Evie could understand.

Evie. Sweet, unconditionally loving and caring Evie. Her most favorite person in the whole entire world outside of the boys. How could she have said those things to Evie when the girl was just trying to calm her down? Mal had been so careless, so hurtful.

The look on Evie’s face was burnt into her mind, and Mal couldn’t get the sight of the bob of Evie’s throat and that slight raise of the head with tears brewing in Evie’s eyes out of her mind. She had let herself down. She had promised herself that she would never have another big outburst at Evie after the whole situation with the dog.

As for Uma, Mal knew she went too far with the comment about Shrimpy, and she truly regretted snapping at the pirate that way when Uma was only defending Mal’s best friend from Mal. Mal honestly admired her and was grateful of the fact that Uma cared so much about Evie that she would step in and interfere if she thought Mal was being unjust. If she could find a way to express this to Uma, then Mal knew that Uma would soften considerably.

Yes, Mal was mostly sure she could gain Uma’s forgiveness.

However, Mal could only hope that she could get Evie to forgive her.

Just outside, Uma was making her way out in the moonlit yard, searching for Evie as she tried to push down her feelings of anger and hurt toward Mal.

She knew that the faerie had just been mad, but it still stung terribly.

Above all, however, she felt awful for Evie. There were certain standards held in Uma’s mind, and the first one was to always defend the defenseless person. That’s why she had practically attacked Audrey when she messed with Jane. Evie was also one of those people that Uma would defend the most. Especially from Mal, because Mal always seemed to deflate Evie the most when Mal had those moments.

Uma finally spotted a figure out leaning against cow fence, and her eyes softened as she realized it was the bluenette that she had been searching for. She very slowly and carefully ambled up to Evie, watching the girl quietly. Evie was just watching the cattle, still as death.

Uma reached the fence and she leaned on the fence nearby the girl. She looked at Evie. The girl had this strange look on her face, her eyes looking somewhat bloodshot and her face appearing just the slightest bit wet.

Uma was willing to listen to whatever the girl felt that she needed to vent or say, but Evie never acted as if she was standing there, her eyes locked on the group of cows gathered in the pasture. So, Uma then turned her gaze to the cattle as well.

They stood there together for a little while, not speaking, until Uma finally decided that she simply couldn’t stand the silence any longer.

“So… You picked a heck of a chick to buddy up with,” Uma acknowledged, and after a moment, Evie nodded in agreeance.

“Yeah. But you did, too, though,” Evie pointed out.

“That’s true,” Uma replied. “My friendship with her just didn’t start with getting shoved into a deathtrap.”

“Yeah…”

“But that’s the foundation of every great relationship, right? A conflict? Isn’t that what you said to me one time?” Uma questioned, raising an eyebrow, and Evie nodded slightly. However, Uma could easily see that her heart wasn’t in it.

“Look, I’m sorry for that whole thing inside,” Uma told her heartfeltly, and Evie nodded, smiling just barely as she glanced at the pirate.

“It’s okay. It’s been a hard week, and we’ve all been struggling with it,” Evie assured her in that calm, wise-beyond-her-years sort of way that Evie always managed to pull off flawlessly.

“You can say that again,” Uma agreed wholeheartedly.

“You, um… Wanna talk about it?” Uma questioned, really not good with this whole comforting thing. She could do it, but it was just very awkward for her since she wasn’t entirely sure how to make Evie feel better.

Evie was quiet, and Uma could see the gears turning in her head as she considered what to say. She also could see that steely resolve that she had to not cry in front of Uma.

“I don’t know, I just,” Evie started, her voice almost hoarse as she spoke, and Uma immediately paid attention to what she was saying, silently prodding her to continue.

“I just… I didn’t think she minded me telling her all of these things. I didn’t know that I irritated her so badly,” Evie expressed, her voice shaking as she sniffled ever so slightly. Uma just reached out, placing a comforting hand on Evie’s back as she rubbed it gently.

When she was sure that Evie was calmer, she slowly removed her hand from Evie’s back in favor of resting her arm on the fence. Uma sighed quietly, considering Evie’s statement for a moment as she tried to think of something wise to say.

After only a moment, the perfect piece of advice came to the pirate.

“Well, Evie, let me tell you a little something that I learned back on the Isle. Y’know, a tidbit I picked up along the way,” Uma told her, and Evie looked at her, her eyes slightly watery as they still threatened to spill tears.

“Those that mind don’t matter, and those that matter don’t mind,” Uma wisely spoke. Evie nodded, smiling softly as she looked off at the cows in the pasture that were all lying on the ground sleeping.

“That’s Doctor Seuss,” Evie finally piped up, and Uma tried to avoid looking surprised and embarrassed at having been discovered.

“Huh? Who’s that?” Uma questioned, shifting her gaze to Evie as she moved in her position leaning on the fence to better view the other girl.

“The person that originated that quote. Where did you hear it?” Evie asked, and Uma raised an eyebrow at her as she immediately thought of that stupid website on the internet that she had accidentally found one day that had all of those dumb inspirational quotes. To her credit, she kept her face neutral as she avoided telling Evie where she found it.

“Nowhere. He must have stole it from me when I wasn’t looking,” Uma informed her, and she victoriously noted the grin on Evie’s face and the slight chuckle that the pirate had managed to draw from the bluenette.

“So which one is Mal?” Evie finally asked, and Uma pursed her lips as she eyed Evie, knowing that Evie knew the true answer, but was just hurt right now.

“I don’t know. That’s up to you. But I think you know what she is,” Uma told her, and Evie nodded, and just from the look in Evie’s eyes, Uma could tell that the girl already knew the answer to her own question. Uma knew that nothing in the whole wide world could come between Mal and Evie.

However, while they were laughing and joking and healing, Mal and Audrey were suffering a much crueler fate.

They had been sitting there in silence for a while when Mal finally couldn’t stand the deafening tones of quiet. She could only hear her overwhelming guilt eating at her conscience, and she found she desperately needed to let it out.

“I can’t believe I said that to her,” Mal announced to the room. Audrey opened her eyes after a moment, bringing her gaze to Mal.

“Which one?”

“Evie! Well, both of them, but especially Evie,” Mal answered her, and Audrey pursed her lips.

“Well, I wouldn’t worry too much about what you said to Uma. She was being a jerk,” Audrey stubbornly pronounced, and Mal knew it was just because she didn’t want to be in the wrong. It was an issue of pride.

“Yeah, but it was in defense of herself, Evie, and Jane,” Mal explained, gesturing to Jane that was sitting in the corner quietly. Audrey sighed deeply as she considered what Mal said, an impassive look on her face.

“I was such a villain to her,” Mal acknowledged, and Audrey shook her head.

“It’s okay, Mal. Sometimes the way you were raised gets the better of you,” Audrey explained, and Mal would have gotten angry all over again if she hadn’t seen that remorseful shift of Audrey’s eyes. It told Mal that Audrey was really talking about herself when she made that comment.

“But the way you were raised is no excuse for how you act now. You have to grow up into who you want to be, no matter how hard it might be,” Mal explained adamantly, and Audrey furrowed her brow as she thought about Mal’s words.

“Evie didn’t deserve that,” Mal continued, pushing through all of Audrey’s defenses for the faerie and the princess. “And I don’t mind hearing about her stupid nails! Even if she is overdramatic about them.

“And Uma… She was just trying to defend Jane and Evie from us,” Mal pointed out sadly, and Audrey closed her eyes, not enjoying this conversation at all as she gritted her teeth.

“I deserved what Evie and Uma said to me. You started the entire argument, Audrey, which I’m not mad at you for anymore, but I didn’t have to add to it,” Mal expressed, and Audrey closed her eyes, feeling unbearable guilt creeping into her as well.

They were quiet for a few minutes before Audrey finally growled under her breath in frustration.

“Dang it, Mal. Now I’ve got to go and apologize to Uma quicker than I meant to! I _hate_ eating crow!” Audrey proclaimed with such emphasis that Mal would have laughed if she had been in a better mood. However, she did crack a small grin at the princess.

Audrey sighed, before turning to face Jane. Jane’s blue eyes locked onto Audrey’s and Audrey offered her barely a smile.

“Jane, I want to tell you I’m sorry for snapping at you. I know you’re on my side, and you have a right to try to reel me in when I’m going overboard,” Audrey heartfeltly apologized to the girl, and Jane nodded, her lips curling up in a happy expression as she accepted Audrey’s apology. Audrey reached an arm over, and Jane leaned into her as the princess squeezed her fondly.

Mal watched them for a moment before Audrey stood up, Jane following her. Audrey walked over to Mal, her eyes filled with a newfound determination as she gazed at the faerie on the floor. Mal looked up at her dejectedly, her face saddened as she wallowed in her guilt and depression.

“You ready to fix this?” Audrey questioned as she extended her hand to the faerie. Mal just looked at Audrey for a moment, not saying anything for a moment.

“C’mon. You can’t let me go out there and get vulnerable in front of Uma without some backup,” Audrey told the girl, a sideways smile lighting up her features, and Mal hadn’t admired the princess more than she had in that moment.

Mal sighed, nodding to Audrey before reaching up and taking her hand with a slight grin. Audrey pulled her to her feet, and Mal squeezed Audrey’s shoulder fondly as Mal, Jane, and Audrey started down the ladder and toward outside.

Before long, they had spotted Evie and Uma leaning against the cattle fence. Mal shared a glance with Audrey, and the princess nodded once, gesturing for Mal to go ahead.

Mal sighed to herself before approaching the two girls from behind. She must have made some sort of noise or Evie had a sick sixth sense, because the bluenette turned to face her quickly. Mal immediately felt a stab of guilt at the fact that Evie had that characteristic look in her eyes that indicated that she had been crying. It was the tremble of her lip, and the puffiness around her eyes that gave her away.

Mal swallowed hard, Audrey coming up beside her as she looked at Uma who had just turned around to face them.

Mal cleared her throat, looking away from Evie as she turned to Uma first. Uma crossed her arms over her chest somewhat defensively as she eyed the girl before her.

“I’m sorry, Uma. I… I shouldn’t have told you to mind your own business. Your business _is_ mine. We’re friends- great friends- and you have a right to keep me in check,” Mal told the pirate, and Uma nodded slowly, her expression softening as she eyed the faerie sympathetically. Mal offered her a slight smile that really didn’t meet her eyes. After all, she still hadn’t obtained forgiveness from the most important person there with her.

Mal slowly turned to face Evie again, and Evie’s glassy eyes met her own for just a moment before she looked away. Mal almost felt like breaking down into tears at the sight of Evie’s wet eyes, simply because it hurt her so deeply to know that she injured Evie as she had. Evie bit her bottom lip slightly as her sweet brown eyes locked onto Mal’s.

The faerie felt her face and eyes grow hotter as she tried to hold back the tears, and she turned her head firmly as she attempted to keep it together in front of everyone.

“Evie, I am so sorry,” Mal finally spoke, her heart aching as a lone tear rolled down her cheek.

“I shouldn’t have done this to you. You didn’t deserve it. You were just trying to do what’s best for all of us like you always do,” Mal expressed, not looking at Evie as she moved her head to face her shoes.

“I was stupid, inconsiderate, and uncaring.” Mal told her, admitting all of her faults. “A-and I care about everything you do! From dumb nails to dumb boy troubles!”

Mal quieted after a moment, just silently considering what else she could possibly say that could convey just how remorseful she felt for what she had said earlier.

“I’m sorry. I’m just so sorry,” Mal expressed as she tried to control the tears that were increasingly attempting to roll down her face.

But before Mal knew it, she was wrapped in warm, comforting arms that cradled her tightly yet gently into the body attached, and Mal leaned into them hard, bringing her arms up so that they encircled the body. Evie’s comforting scent surrounded her like a shroud of safety, and Mal sighed deeply, breathing it in as it calmed her down. Evie rested her chin on Mal’s head, Mal tucked fully into Evie’s embrace.

“Can you ever forgive me?” Mal mumbled, really hoping that Evie could because she needed more hugs like this one.

“Of course,” Evie expressed, nuzzling into Mal’s purple hair as she pressed her lips softly to Mal’s forehead.

“I love you,” Evie told her heartfeltly, and Mal let herself fall deeper into Evie’s embrace.

“I love you,” Mal replied, and Evie just held her there quietly.

“I really missed these hugs,” Mal murmured just barely after a moment, hoping to all things above that Uma hadn’t heard what she said. Evie just chuckled slightly, squeezing Mal tighter as she successfully made Mal feel so very safe.

Uma had, but she chose not to say anything as she, the pink princess, and Jane watched the two.

“Huh. We ain’t topping that one no matter how hard we try,” Uma pointed out, and Audrey almost laughed as she turned away from Mal and Evie to look at Uma.

“Uma, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have insisted that you put the dog down,” Audrey expressed.

“I was jealous,” Audrey informed her, and Uma nodded, agreeing with Audrey’s statement.

“And I was rude,” Audrey added, and Uma once again moved her head in agreement.

“And I was a total witch,” Audrey finished, and Uma raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah, you were. But there’s something else you were that you forgot,” Uma told her, and Audrey recognized that look from just the previous night. She immediately knew what Uma wanted Audrey to call herself.

“No… Please…”

“I want to hear you say it.”

“Please, don’t make me.”

“But I need you to.”

“It doesn’t even apply to this situation…”

“You want my forgiveness?” Uma questioned, and Audrey huffed, completely irritated, before mumbling something incoherently under her breath.

“What was that?” Uma grinned wickedly, putting a hand to her ear as she pretended as if she couldn’t hear the words.

“Oh, for the love of- fine! I was being a Miss Piggy,” Audrey told her finally, and Uma smiled, pointing a finger gun at the princess.

“And there it is.”

“Do you forgive me now?” Audrey questioned in a huff.

“Yeah… I will,” Uma told her, and Audrey growled under her breath as she pushed past Uma to lean on the fence next to her. Uma turned back to the fence quietly, nudging her shoulder into Audrey’s as she grinned mischievously. Audrey rolled her eyes, but the slightest hint of a smile came onto her face as she returned the bump playfully.

Evie finally released Mal, but not fully as she kept one arm around her still. Mal held her arm around Evie’s middle, and they both leaned on the fence alongside Uma and Audrey. Jane joined in on Audrey’s side, and they all leaned there, watching the cows.

It had been a painful night.

But with the way that Evie was holding Mal like she’d never let go, the reservedly affectionate glances that Uma passed the faerie, the camaraderie that she shared with Audrey in this endeavor, and the happy look on Jane’s face, Mal found that she was healing from it quite nicely.

Everyone was.


	16. Day Five: Morning

“So… let me just say that this has been officially the longest, but also the best week of my life,” Evie started, relaxing against the side of the barn as she started the conversation.

“I will miss all of the animals and people that live here just the exact moment that I leave tomorrow morning,” Evie expressed sweetly, feeling her heart warm at the thought of the wonderful beings she had the pleasure of meeting.

“It’s been super fun. Even the near-death experiences and the more disgusting moments that involved… feces,” Evie attempted to elegantly address.

“I think that it all will serve to enrich us in the end,” Evie acknowledged wisely and calmly, her chocolate, caramel colored eyes looking out at the horizon. However, a small frown came onto her face as she considered her next words.

“So please… Please. Please, don’t bite me on the butt again,” Evie implored, looking down at the goose that was standing there beside her as she raised an eyebrow at it. It tilted its head to better stare her down as she spoke.

“It’s my last official full day here, and I wanted to have at least one happy memory with you and me.”

The goose honked at her, and Evie took in a breath to continue when she suddenly heard a rustle behind the barn door. Evie glanced at it, and her eyes widened as her sister’s head poked out from between the door and the doorway.

“You aren’t seriously talking to the goose, are you?” Mal questioned, and Evie offered her a large grin as she cast one last warning glance in the goose’s direction.

“Of course not.”

“Okay, because you know, the last time you did that, he got you anyway,” Mal informed her, and Evie just smiled widely as Mal leaned into her fondly, looking at the horizon with her.

“Last day… You ready to take it on?” Mal questioned, shifting her gaze to the bluenette. Evie rested her head against Mal’s as she contentedly closed her eyes, just enjoying the other girl’s presence.

Ever since last night, Mal had made a point to get closer to Evie and allow herself to be even more openly loving than she usually was. Evie knew that she was expressing her repentance, but she was unashamedly enjoying the attention that it brought to her. After all, Evie was very much a hugger, and she loved affection quite possibly more than anyone else in the whole group.

“Definitely,” Evie expressed, completely sure of herself. She knew she could take anything on when she had Mal by her side.

“Girl, I’m serious. I’ll bet you twenty bucks that you’re going out to that chicken pen. And I’ll bet another ten that you find a snake,” Uma’s voice suddenly sounded off, and Audrey, Uma, and Jane started out the door, accompanying Evie and Mal.

“Yeah, sure. I bet that I won’t.”

“What amount, princess?” Uma questioned, and Audrey just huffed at her, but Evie could easily see that the brunette was enjoying Uma’s easy bantering with her.

“Ladies don’t bet money, Uma,” Audrey replied simply as they started to amble toward the farmhouse. Evie watched the goose carefully to ensure that he wasn’t planning any sneak attacks, and Evie noted with satisfaction that he didn’t seem to be following her at all.

“I think you’re just chicken,” Uma told her with a much too large grin, and it quickly occurred to Audrey precisely the joke that Uma had made.

“Oh, ha, ha, so funny,” Audrey responded to her, scrunching her nose as she smiled falsely at Uma.

The group headed up the steps, and as soon as they came in, Anne was standing by the frying pan, preparing it to cook. Audrey’s eyes widened and she hoped that Anne wasn’t preparing for what Audrey thought the old woman was.

“Oh, there’s my star egg-gatherer,” Anne cheerfully greeted, and Audrey felt her stomach fall to her feet as she practically felt the smirk on Uma’s face.

“You owe me twenty bucks,” Uma whispered, leaning near the pink princess, and Audrey closed her eyes, willing away the frustration towards Uma’s victory over her, before reopening them with a big grin.

“Of course, Miss Anne. I’ll go take care of it for you,” Audrey agreed easily, much easier than she actually felt like responding. She really felt like screaming. With the way things had been going, there was no telling what would happen to her in that stupid chicken pen.

“And do hurry back, dear. I have a special task for you girls to complete before breakfast,” Anne expressed to her, and Audrey suddenly found herself very worried about what that particular task could be.

With these people, it could be anything.

Audrey went out the door, heading for the fence, and she heard footsteps thudding behind her quietly in the grass. Audrey turned to face whoever had come outside with her, and she quickly spotted Uma standing there.

“What are you doing? Coming to gloat about how you were right?” Audrey huffily questioned, crossing her arms over her chest.

“No. I’m not,” Uma oddly sincerely spoke, and Audrey allowed herself to let her guard down just a bit in her pure surprise at Uma’s seemingly genuine sentiment.

“I just wanted to make sure that you won’t be shirking me of my other ten bucks,” Uma proudly proclaimed with a smirk, and Audrey immediately put back up her defensive walls as she harrumphed all the way to the gate of the chicken enclosure. Uma followed along, chuckling to herself.

Audrey went in the gate mostly fearlessly, and as soon as she shut it behind her, she realized that she hadn’t went through her mental pep talk that she always had before facing these creatures.

But with Uma just behind her, Audrey knew that she couldn’t even begin to act as if she were suffering any sort of fear as a result of the foul.

Audrey bravely continued about her way, but paused as she spotted a particular scene nearby the building. Her eyes softened significantly as she spotted the baby chicks nearby the building. Audrey smiled widely as she was consumed by the adorable fluffy puffballs, and she knelt down beside the building.

“What are you doing? Falling sucker to a baby animal, huh?” Uma questioned, and Audrey looked back at the pirate only to see that she had picked up her own big white fluffball that was currently licking the pirate’s chin happily.

“Yeah. Look who’s talking,” Audrey shot back at her, and Uma quickly dropped her grin. Audrey turned back to the chicks, self-satisfied that she had managed to quieten Uma so effectively.

“Hello, little chicky babies,” Audrey cooed sweetly, her voice getting high-pitched as she baby-talked the birds. One of them was braver than the rest, and it took a few steps forward, looking up at her curiously as it tilted its head.

“You are just the cutest little thing!” Audrey told it, and the tiny bird stayed still, watching her. Audrey finally couldn’t resist it any longer, and she reached down, aiming to pick up the fluffy little angel.

But then its sleek big devil mother came running over.

Audrey barely noticed the chicken before it was flapping at her, flying down toward her. Audrey let loose with an enormous scream, taking off through the chicken pen with the bird right behind her.

“STOP!!! NO!!! GET AWAY FROM ME!!!” Audrey screeched at the top of her lungs, and she didn’t even notice Uma laughing at her from the fence, pulling out her camera as she took a selfie with the pink princess in the background.

Audrey tore across the dirt-covered lot, chickens scattering in front of her and that crazy nut bird flapping behind her at the speed of light as it chased her.

“HELP!!! GET AWAY!!!” Audrey screamed, waving her hand behind her as she ran in an attempt to send the chicken away. It continued to pursue her, flying up into the air every few seconds as it hopped off of the ground. Audrey rammed into the chain-link fence, and she quickly grabbed onto it, pulling as she attempted to drag herself back into momentum.

Uma allowed herself to just laugh and watch Audrey for a moment, putting her camera away after a few moments as she held the puppy in her arms lovingly.

However, after a while of this, Uma finally felt sorry for the poor princess, and she sat the dog down on the grass before coming into the chicken pen. She walked into the hen house, gathering the eggs and noting that there was very unfortunately a lack of snakes. Uma then came out of the henhouse, watching as Audrey raced around and chickens dodged her wild footsteps. Uma sighed before taking in a breath to yell at the princess.

“Audrey, over here! The gate’s over here!” Uma called, pointing at the gate with her free hand as she made a pouch with her shirt. Audrey screeched as the chicken attempted to flog her once again, and she barely glanced in Uma’s direction before charging toward the pirate. Uma braced herself, moving out of Audrey’s way as she opened the gate.

Audrey ran out of the gate and Uma swiftly came out with her, successfully shutting the chicken in the pen.

Audrey was breathing hard, her hands on her knees as she tried to regain her breath. She closed her eyes and when she wasn’t looking, Uma’s puppy reached up on its hind legs and licked her nose. Audrey giggled slightly, not really liking the dog slobber but appreciating the puppy all the same. Audrey tentatively reached out, running her fingers through the puppy’s poofy hair as she scratched her neck gently.

“Don’t be getting too attached now,” Uma playfully warned, and Audrey looked up at the pirate with a relieved grin. Uma offered her a hand, helping the princess straighten as they started back toward the house.

“Well, Uma, I only owe you ten dollars,” Audrey told the pirate, and Uma raised an eyebrow.

“Huh?”

“I had to go to the chicken pen which was twenty dollars, but I didn’t run into a snake, which is ten dollars I get. I pay you ten dollars,” Audrey explained, and Uma grinned, proud of the princess for keeping track of her debts so well.

“So, you do… So, you do,” Uma replied with a sly grin, and they walked up the porch. Uma opened the door and they both entered the room. Mal and Evie were seated nearby one another. Mal absentmindedly tugging on strands of Evie’s hair that had fallen down in front of her shoulder as she listened to Anne speak. Jane was seated nearby Mal, fiddling with the tablecloth.

“There you two are. Now, give me the eggs, and I’ll tell y’all what you’ll be getting up to,” Anne informed them, and Uma offered her all of the eggs in her pouch that she made with her shirt. Anne took them swiftly and she started to crack them.

“Alright, girls, do any of you know anything about milking?” Anne finally asked, looking back at the group, and Evie’s hand instinctually shot up sky high as she volunteered the input of her knowledge. Uma just raised an eyebrow as she watched the bluenette.

“Yes?” Anne questioned with a slight chuckle, enjoying Evie’s antics thoroughly.

“Milking involves the steady and firm downward force upon a cow’s udders in order to reap the natural bounty of the bovine,” Evie explained, and Mal was honestly beginning to question whether she had chosen a textbook for her best friend or an actual human being.

“Great description, but I was wondering if y’all know how to milk,” Anne uncertainly told them, almost sounding as if she didn’t quite understand what had spilled from between Evie’s lips. But none of them really knew what Evie had said since it came out so fast and so complicated.

“Of course,” Evie replied confidently.

“Yeah, in theory, for sure. But in practice? Heck, no,” Uma shot down Evie’s optimistic attitude, and Evie drooped a bit with the negation.

“Well, just grab the udders, squeeze, and pull down,” Anne informed them.

“So, why are we getting the talk? Are we going out to milk or something?” Uma asked, and Anne nodded happily.

“Yep. George already has you girls set up over yonder in the milking shed,” Anne pointed in a direction, and the girls all raised their eyebrows, surprised that was what they were doing.

“We’ll be using that milk for our breakfast this morning,” Anne informed them, and Audrey’s eyes almost fell out of her head as she gaped at the woman. She didn’t say anything to the old lady, though, and instead shut her mouth from her jaw’s current position on the floor.

“I guess we’ll be going out then. Be back in a few minutes,” Mal told her, and all of the girls arose from their seated positions as they followed the faerie out the door.

Evie hurried over so that she was even with Mal, taking her hand and lacing it with her fingers as they headed for the area where they would be milking the cows. Mal squeezed her hand in return, enjoying Evie’s presence and the fact that she hadn’t hurt her irreparably.

Soon enough, they entered the door to the building, and there were five cows, three in a row and two in a row that was parallel to the group of three. There were five stools next to each of the cattle, and as it appeared, two sets of two girls were going to be sitting back to back while one of them would be sitting at the last cow in the row of three.

George was standing there, watching the creatures carefully, and he looked up at the girls with a kind smile.

“There y’all are. Just pull you up a stump on one of these here stools and you can get started. Anne did tell you girls how to milk, right?” George asked, and they all expressed varying forms of agreement as they started to get in their respective positions.

Naturally, Evie and Mal sat back to back. Next came Audrey and Uma, and then there was Jane sitting at the last cow in the row of three.

“Good. Alright, well, it shouldn’t take you long. Just bring the buckets up to the front porch when you’re through,” George informed them, and he left out the door, pulling it shut behind him.

Evie immediately started to examine the cow before her, the scientist at heart getting the best of her as she leaned up under the animal, looking underneath it. Meanwhile, the rest of the girls except for Audrey actually started to milk the cow before them.

“Wow, M! Look at this! I’ve never seen anything like it,” Evie expressed to Mal, and the faerie pushed back into Evie fondly from her place just behind the bluenette.

“I’m seeing the same sights you are,” Mal joked, and Evie didn’t even pay attention to what the faerie was saying to her as she continued right on through her intense studying of the cow.

Uma started squeezing the udders, dragging downward as Anne had instructed them, and she winced as she realized just how difficult the task was.

However, after a moment, she realized that the pink princess behind her wasn’t doing any milking whatsoever. Uma turned so that she was looking back at Audrey, and she raised an eyebrow.

“Ain’t you gonna milk?” Uma questioned, and Audrey immediately started to complain, but she did reach forward and tentatively start to try to grab the udders before her.

“Ew, I can’t believe I have to touch cow boobs!” Audrey whined, and Uma rolled her eyes, and chuckled as she fully enjoyed the princess’ fit-throwing.

“Don’t think of it that way. Think of it as… Reaping the natural bounty of the bovine,” Uma announced before cackling at Audrey’s expense, looking to Evie with a wide grin as she used the bluenette’s terminology.

Evie looked up at the pirate just barely, offering her a smile before returning her attentions to the cow’s udders.

“And furthermore, I can’t believe we’re drinking cow juice straight from the cow!” Audrey complained, actually squirting some into her pail.

“It’s so… thick,” Audrey acknowledged, sounding like she might puke over the texture of the milk.

“Well, I really don’t think there’s anything wrong with it,” Uma told her, and Audrey winced as she immediately thought of everything that was wrong with it. “I’ve had worse.”

“That black mud coffee?” Mal questioned, and Uma pointed a finger-gun in the faerie’s direction.

“But seriously! Mud is great and all, but milk has to be processed so that it’s safe for human consumption! This stuff hasn’t been pasteurized!” Audrey cried, and Uma grinned wickedly as soon as a positively wicked thought came into her mind

“Well, technically, it’s already pasteurized. It’s been out there in the pasture, after all,” Uma informed the princess, and she laughed as Audrey reached back and smacked her leg the best that she could.

“That is so gross!” Audrey cried, and Uma shook her head, settling for just milking her cow.

“M, this is so amazing. Can you imagine the experiments that I could be performing on this? Like, I could invent a milk extractor based upon the speed of the trajectory of the milk out of the udders!” Evie grinned widely, purely thrilled as she immersed herself fully in her scientific endeavors. Mal thought it was sweet how involved that Evie got, and she even admired her sister for it, but Mal honestly didn’t have a clue what Evie was talking about.

“Well, I have no idea, and I’m honestly scared to think of what you could come up with,” Mal told her, but Evie had leaned underneath the bovine, successfully closing herself off from the normal world outside of her studying. Evie hadn’t really had a chance to fully examine something that was this close to what she had studied at the Auradon Prep, and Mal knew better than anyone that Evie treasured field trips and tests.

So Mal resolvedly decided to leave Evie alone and let her enjoy her time looking at the cow.

“Is there some reason that she’s getting such enjoyment out of this?” Audrey asked Mal, looking at Evie strangely, and the faerie just shrugged.

“She’s a scientist and a mathematician at heart. Some things can’t be helped,” Mal joked, nudging Evie slightly, but Evie wasn’t even listening as she milked the cow carefully. Mal rolled her eyes fondly and started milking her own cow once again.

The four started to get more immersed in their tasks, focusing on how their hands were starting to kill them and how they didn’t understand why any person would go to this much trouble when they could just go and buy a gallon of milk at the supermarket.

They were so focused on these tasks that they didn’t pay attention to Evie’s mumblings. Despite the fact that they definitely should have been if they were wise.

“Hmm… In order to truly comprehend the extent of a cow’s ability to produce milk at a certain rate, I need to measure the speed of the trajectory,” Evie murmured to herself as she took an udder and aimed it to her left. She held onto it firmly before squirting it hard.

Uma was minding her own business and happily milking when Evie performed this test, and she very unfortunately became the dependent variable in Evie’s experiment.

“What the-” Uma reached up to her cheek and wiped it before realizing that there was milk on her cheek. She knew it had come from Mal and Evie’s direction, and she couldn’t help but already come to her own conclusions surrounding who she thought was guilty of squirting her.

Uma shot Mal a dirty look, and the faerie happened to glance at Uma when the pirate looked at her. Mal raised an eyebrow.

“What?”

“You squirted me,” Uma accusingly pointed out, and Mal furrowed her brow.

“I didn’t do anything to you,” Mal informed the pirate, and Uma just eyed her skeptically.

“Sure thing. ‘Cause it was definitely Evie,” Uma sarcastically spoke, and Evie was so in her own head that she didn’t even hear Uma.

They returned to milking, and Evie held up the udder again.

“Test two of trajectory,” Evie spoke to herself before letting loose with another squirt, and once again, it hit Uma’s cheek.

Uma spun around to face Mal, two udders firmly held in her hands.

“Stop doing that!” Uma demanded, and Mal just shook her head at the other girl, not knowing what in the world that Uma was talking about.

“Test three,” Evie murmured just barely as she squirted it once more, and as soon as it hit Uma, she turned around, aiming her udders toward Mal.

“Okay, you asked for it,” Uma told her before unloading on the faerie. Mal let out a surprised yelp, but she quickly caught on, returning fire wholeheartedly and wildly.

“Stop! STOP! You’re going to get it in my hair!” Audrey screeched, and Uma and Mal just kept shooting milk at one another. Audrey stood up quickly from her stool, screaming about how they were completely out of control and needed to stop what they were doing.

By now, Evie was drawn from what she was doing, and she was watching Mal and Uma as she wiped milk from her arms.

“What are you two doing?!” Evie demanded, worriedly noting that the cows were starting to shift and were giving off this nervous aura.

Mal and Uma continued to give each other everything they had as they wet each other with the milk.

“You guys, seriously, stop!” Evie told them, seeing how the cows looked as if they were about to start running. But Mal and Uma were too far into it now, each one refusing to back down.

Jane’s cow was the first one to run, and as soon as it did, pandemonium set about the shed. Mal and Uma nearly fell off their stools as the cows lurched forward and started acting insane. Audrey was screaming, which only served to set them off more, and Jane was trying to hide somewhere.

Uma and Mal got up quickly, and Uma grabbed one of the buckets that appeared to be at least a little intact. Evie took Mal’s hand, spotting a way out, and they rushed toward the door, Uma quick behind them. Audrey slipped around the side of the spooked cows, grabbing Jane and pulling her from her hiding place as they hurried toward the exit.

They all tumbled out the doors behind Evie with Mal in tow, and they shut the door quickly. Uma held the pail of milk in her hand carefully, noticing that it was only about half-full. However, she wasn’t about to go back inside to see if there were any more that weren’t knocked over.

They all leaned back against the door, breathing heavily as they regained their senses.

“Aw, man. I didn’t get to finish testing the trajectory of a cow udder,” Evie expressed to them, completely disappointed, and Uma’s gaze snapped to Mal’s. They both immediately realized that Evie was the one who had in fact squirted Uma with the milk.

Uma looked at Evie, a tight-lipped smile on her face as she barely controlled the urge to do something bad.

“Evie. I’m giving you a ten second head start,” Uma informed the bluenette, and Evie looked between Uma and Mal worriedly.

“What? Ten seconds?”

“Nine,” Uma counted down, and Evie furrowed her brow.

“What did I do?”

“Eight.”

“No, Uma, what’s wrong?”

“Seven.”

“Just run, E, run!” Mal instructed to help the poor confused girl, despite the fact that Mal was not at all pleased with Evie’s squirting Uma. Evie looked at Mal with confusion, but at Mal’s continued ushering, Evie started to run across the yard.

Uma hadn’t even gotten to five yet before she was speeding after the taller girl, the milk bucket firmly in hand as she readied herself to drench the other girl in the liquid.

As soon as Evie saw her with the milk pail, Evie started taking her running infinitely more seriously as they chased and raced around the yard, Evie screaming of peace and confusion.

Mal was sure to get a selfie with the other two girls while Evie and Uma ran in the background.


	17. Day Five: Afternoon

“I think they were just trying to get rid of us,” Audrey complained, and Uma just shrugged as they all started their trek down the road.

After Anne and George found out about their enormous mishap with the milking, they had proclaimed that the girls needed a break from farm life. So, naturally, they suggested what Audrey had officially dubbed a farm activity to draw them away from their troubles. After all, it was their last official full day there, and the elderly couple wanted them to enjoy it.

All five of them were dressed down significantly in only thin tank tops and short shorts as they walked down a dirt side road in search of a supposed creek that crossed the road not too far from the house.

Needless to say, Audrey wasn’t enjoying it all.

“If they were, it certainly worked,” Uma remarked, scratching at her bare shoulder absent-mindedly as they looked for any signs of a stream.

“But the thing is, I don’t get it. Why would they send us to a stream of all things?” Audrey questioned, and Mal just shook her head nervously.

Evie quickly noticed the smaller girl’s fear, and she squeezed Mal’s hand in her own tightly and comfortingly. Evie knew that Mal was terrified of any body of water. Evie was sure that she would have an extremely hard time getting Mal to get in water that reached her mid-calves, which was approximately how deep this stream was supposed to be.

“It’s going to be okay,” Evie assured Mal reassuringly, and Mal looked at Evie somewhat worriedly but nodded trustingly.

“Hey, y’all, there it is!” Uma called from the front of the group with Audrey. Uma pointed down the road, and the rest of the girls approached where Uma and Audrey were standing.

“It really is crossing the road,” Audrey remarked in suprise, and Uma looked at her with an eyebrow raised.

“Well, did you expect any less?”

“No, but I’ve just never quite seen anything like it,” Audrey told her defensively.

“Let’s go see it!” Evie excitedly cried, and Jane nodded wholeheartedly, despite the fact that she really didn’t like the revealing clothes that she was wearing.

The five of them headed down the road and they approached the creek carefully, examining it with interest. However, everyone’s types of interests seemed to vary greatly from person to person. Mal’s was an interest in getting away from the water, Evie’s was an interest in viewing its beauty, Uma’s was an interest in getting into it, Jane’s was an interest to examine the little minnows dwelling within it, and Audrey’s was an interest in going back to the farmhouse.

“Oh, it’s so pretty! A babbling brook,” Evie pointed out, enthralled by the beauty of the stream, and Mal kept silent. Audrey’s eyes went wide as she realized just how muddy the water was and how undoubtedly disgusting it was.

“We’re supposed to get in this?!” Audrey demanded, and Evie shrugged and nodded slightly.

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Nope, nope, nope, I’m not doing it,” Audrey proclaimed loudly after only a moment, and as she was turning to leave in the direction from which they had all just came, Uma grabbed her around her midsection and pulled her back so that she was standing at the edge of the water.

“Now, now, you wouldn’t want to disappoint _Miss_ Anne and _Mister_ George, would you?” Uma asked, and Audrey shot her a dirty look for Uma’s ridiculing of her formal titles for people.

“Well… who’s getting in?”

“I definitely want to,” Uma told them, and before anyone could say anything, the pirate kicked off her shoes and stepped right in the water, walking over to the right side of the stream where it was off of the road and slightly deeper.

“What the heck are you doing?! What if people see us out here in the water nearly naked and wet on top of that when they’re driving by?!” Audrey demanded.

Uma shrugged, and started to follow the stream to the sharp bend not too far down. All of the other girls shared a glance and Evie picked up Uma’s shoes as they trailed along the embankment to follow the pirate.

It soon came to their attention that the embankment was getting perpetually steeper until the girls were looking down into a ditch that was about as deep as Uma was tall. At the bottom, there was a small sandy bank and the stream. Uma was standing in the middle of it, and there was a tree that was growing directly on the edge of the embankment facing the road, which covered up any views of possible passersby on the road. It was ultimately an area of isolation.

“Now you have no excuse to not get in, Princess Pansy,” Uma expressed to Audrey, performing a fake curtsy. Evie and Mal shared a glance, and Evie took Mal’s hand in her own tightly as she helped the faerie down the edge of the embankment. Audrey rolled her eyes with a huff, and hesitantly started to attempt to climb down onto the sandy edges of the water with Jane just behind her.

Once they were all on the sand, Jane walked forward, taking off her shoes, and stepped into the water with Uma, a huge grin lighting up her face as she enjoyed the water running over her toes.

Mal was just staring at the stream, looking at where it led and thinking of how far it likely stretched. Evie squeezed Mal’s hand as she positioned her mouth nearby the other girl’s ear as she whispered.

“It’s okay, M. It’s not going to sweep you away. It only reaches your calves,” Evie reassuringly told the girl, and Mal nodded, swallowing hard as she mustered as much courage as she could gather. Evie took off her shoes carefully nearby Jane’s and Mal followed along at Evie’s calm but insistent gaze.

Evie then stepped back from her, still holding Mal’s hand tightly in her own as she gently pulled Mal toward the creek. Evie stepped backwards into it, and Mal watched her carefully as she attempted to push through her fear and follow the slightly older girl.

Mal soon found herself in the water as well, and she stood still, letting it wash around her as she held onto Evie tightly. Evie let her hold on as tightly and as long as she wanted, willing to do anything that would make Mal comfortable with the water.

Uma just grinned at the sight of everyone in her natural element before realizing that Audrey was the only one not in there with them.

Audrey was standing on the edge of the stream, her arms crossed over her chest as she stubbornly and adamantly refused to get in.

“Oh, come on. Can’t you have any fun?” Uma asked, and Audrey just turned her nose up at the stream. Uma rolled her eyes, and she reached down, cupping a considerable amount of water in her hands. She then pushed forward, splashing the pink princess.

Audrey spluttered, her tank top and shorts successfully somewhat damp, and she glared at Uma.

“What is wrong with you?! I could get the leg-losing disease!” Audrey screeched, and Uma raised an eyebrow at her, completely unimpressed.

“What’s that?”

“You know! That disease! The one that you get when in streams or outside, unchlorinated water and it gets in your nose, in your ears, or in your mouth!”

“How does it work exactly?”

“The germs and stuff from the unclean water crawl into your body parts and eat at you from the inside out. Before you know it, the doctors are chopping off your limbs and you’re a legless, armless blob rolling around!” Audrey hysterically explained, and Evie raised an eyebrow at Audrey’s assessment, knowing there were a million more elegant ways to put it that weren’t quite so crazy.

“Like a turd in the wind?” Uma questioned curiously, and Mal snorted, which prompted Evie to smile due to the fact that it signified Mal’s growing comfort in the situation.

“Exactly!” Audrey cried, and Uma pretended to think about this for a moment. Uma pursed her lips before shrugging at Audrey.

“Huh. I think we oughtta take our chances on that one,” Uma told her before surging out of the water and grabbing the girl’s arms tightly in her grasp.

Audrey immediately started screeching, trying to yank her wrists from Uma’s hold. But Uma was too strong for the princess as she backed up into the water. Uma slowly turned around, before yanking Audrey so that she was the one backing into the water.

Audrey fought against her with everything she had, and Uma pushed as hard as she could against the force of the princess. Uma finally managed to get Audrey into the water where Uma was fighting to keep Audrey there.

“Well, well, well, what’s goin’ on here?” a strange voice rang out suddenly and Uma let go of Audrey. However, Audrey was still pushing against Uma and she flew forward into the water face-first. Uma instinctively got into a defensive sort of stance, her eyes hardening slightly as she looked in the direction that the voice came from.

To her complete and utter surprise, there were four boys standing on top of the high banks of the stream in rolled up jeans and nothing else. They had no shirts on and no shoes, for that matter, and every one of them had huge grins on their faces.

“Uma!” Audrey cried suddenly, interrupting Uma from her staring at the boys. Uma looked down at the princess, dripping wet from where she had fell into the water and her clothes clinging to her skin tightly.

Uma grabbed Audrey’s arm and hoisted her up with a slight smirk, letting her guard down as she realized that there was a perfect opportunity to embarrass the princess beyond all belief.

Audrey grabbed onto Uma’s upper-arm tightly, turning to face what Uma seemed to be looking at so intently. Her eyes went wide and her jaw went slack as she gaped at the group of boys standing there staring at the group of girls.

Uma grinned widely, expecting this reaction. However, she definitely didn’t expect it when Audrey backed up right into her in the midst of what Uma assumed was almost pure panic.

“Hi,” Evie was the first to speak, and Mal looked at her best friend. Mal almost groaned at the look that Evie had on her face. Her eyes were lit up with a sparkle, and her face had that flirtatious grin that she always had when she saw some boy that she felt attraction toward. Mal sighed deeply at the bluenette, really dreading what was to come next.

“Well, hi to you, too,” replied a dark-haired boy with a cute crooked smile and a very much affected accent. Mal just raised an eyebrow, having to admit that Evie did have good reason to be smitten. But that was just how the boy looked. Mal had no idea what these four creeps were doing out here while the three girls were swimming.

“What, um… What are y’all up to?” a sandy-haired one questioned somewhat shyly, his eyes mostly on Uma as he spoke. Mal almost wanted to laugh, knowing that boy was certainly barking up the wrong tree.

“Standing in the water. What’re y’all up to?” Uma sent back his question sassily, and the boy just laughed in response to her, looking enamored by her and very awkward at the same time.

“I don’t think I’ve seen y’all around here,” one in the back with pretty blue eyes addressed them as he leaned against the tree, gazing at Audrey. Uma reeled a bit as Audrey slammed into her again, and Uma immediately knew that Audrey was scared to death of these boys for some reason.

Honestly, Uma wasn’t scared of them in the least. They were a bunch of silly teenage boys that had spied up five girls dressed down in hardly anything. That was all that there was to it.

“Well, we just came here,” Evie told them with one of those much too big, much too toothy grins that she was so infamous for. That first boy with the dark hair seemed to really have his eyes on her, and he effortlessly hopped down so that he was down there with them. The other three boys wasted no time in following him.

One of them approached Mal, a boy with brown eyes that somehow reminded Mal of Evie’s. They weren’t as trusting, though, or as soft, and they had much more mischief in them.

“Where’d y’all come from? Heaven?” the boy completely unsubtly asked Mal, and Mal just scoffed at him, looking him right in those cocky eyes as she gazed at him brazenly.

“How long did it take you to come up with that one?” Mal questioned, keeping her fingers firmly laced with Evie’s, and the boy chuckled at her with a giant smile.

“Hank, don’t you got no manners?” the blue-eyed one that had picked out Audrey demanded.

“We all know you ain’t got none, Beau,” Hank pointed out, and Mal knew from her gaze that he was easily referencing the fact that Beau hadn’t taken his eyes off Audrey since he first looked at her.

The original dark-haired boy looked at the exchange before quickly turning back his attentions to Evie with a huge smile.

“So, what’s your name?” Evie’s dark-haired admirer asked, and Mal could feel Evie leaning hard against her as she melted into a puddle of giggly goo.

“Mal- no! No, she’s Mal!” Evie pointed at Mal as she practically lost all good sense in her brain. It was truly a shame, Mal thought, that Evie would lose her mind finally because of some random boy from the sticks.

“I’m Evie. What’s your name?” Evie questioned with a bat of her eyelashes as she giggled breathlessly.

“Aw, mine ain’t near as purdy as yours. I’m Bobby Ray,” he introduced himself sweetly and Mal almost rolled her eyes as she tried to keep a close eye on Evie’s situation and simultaneously watch her own admirer that was getting a little too close for comfort.

Mal narrowed her eyes at him, and purposefully exhibited her wedding band in a gesture in front of her face as she scratched her forehead gently. Hank obviously caught on fast and he backed away from her, instead deciding that he’d go and admire Jane.

“That’s cute,” Evie complimented as she looked at the boy, and Mal almost wanted to gag. Bobby Ray’s name was anything but cute. It was the corniest name Mal had ever heard in her whole life.

Bored, Uma stood there between Beau and Audrey as she unintentionally blocked Audrey from having to look or get near him.

The sandy-haired boy that had his eye on Uma the entire time was starting to draw a bit too close for Uma’s comfort, though, so Uma turned and looked at him, accidentally exposing Audrey to Beau.

“Whatchu doing, boy?” Uma questioned him, and he backed up quickly, his eyes wide as he admired her in all of her somewhat intimidating glory.

“I’m Junior, Lester Junior. But everybody ‘round here calls me Junior,” Junior introduced himself, stuttering as he gaped at Uma. Uma just raised an eyebrow at him, enjoying his speechlessness and absently noting that she had heard the name Lester somewhere before.

“What’s, what’s your name?” he questioned, and Uma shortly replied her name, and he looked even more starstruck. Uma rolled her eyes, but turned her attention to the scene that was unfolding beside her with Audrey and blue-eyed Beau.

“Hey beautiful, you’re mighty purdy. Anybody ever told you that?” Beau asked, those handsome eyes looking at her from underneath his serious-set brows. Audrey immediately wished that those were Jay’s eyes, because they never looked at her like they held the desire to just devour her whole on the spot. Well, they didn’t not ever, but when they did, it was usually a reciprocated desire and it was much more comfortable because she knew him and wanted him to look at her that way.

“It’s Audrey, and yeah. My boyfriend. Who’s really bad and who’d beat you up if he saw you flirting with me!”

“Where is he now?” Beau questioned, and Audrey swallowed, coming up with a lie on the spot in an attempt to get the boy to leave her alone.

“He’s back at the road in his truck. He drove us here, and he’s waiting for us to come back in a little while,” Audrey informed him confidently, and Uma raised an eyebrow at her, impressed with Audrey’s ability to lie so convincingly.

“That’s funny. We came from over that way, and we didn’t see no truck,” Beau pointed out the fault in Audrey’s yarn, and Audrey gaped for a moment before quickly thinking of another way to support what she was saying.

“Oh, well, he probably went to the, uh… Convenience store around the corner.”

“There ain’t no convenience store around the corner,” he pointed out with a bit of amusement.

“Well, you just haven’t been to the right corner,” Audrey told him, crossing her arms over her chest uncomfortably. She didn’t like how the boy was looking at her, and she was desperate to escape this situation.

“Good answer,” Uma remarked under her breath, and Audrey shot her a look before nervously returning her gaze to the boy before her.

“Where did y’all really come from, though?” Billy Ray asked, and Evie immediately grinned widely as she straightened a bit, unconsciously leaning just a bit closer to the boy. Mal pulled on Evie’s hand, trying to keep the girl from answering him. The last thing Mal wanted the boy to know was where they lived.

“We live at the Auradon castle,” Evie told him, and looked back at Mal questioningly as Mal yanked on Evie’s arm, trying to make her shut her mouth.

“That must be why you’re so beautiful. You’re a princess.”

“Oh, I don’t know if I’d go that far,” Evie giggled wildly, enjoying the praise, and Mal watched as Evie’s ego inflated ridiculously. Of course, it wasn’t as if it wasn’t always there, but it was usually less there until somebody puffed it up. Mal made sure to keep it inflated every once in a while. After all, Evie needed it like she needed air since she was so unbelievably self-conscious sometimes.

Mal tried to get a scope on Hank wherever he had disappeared to, and she quickly spotted him nearby a nervous and wide-eyed Jane that looked to be completely uncomfortable in the midst of his advances toward her.

“So what’s your name, purdy?” Hank asked, and Jane was almost clammed up completely, but she managed to squeak out a “Jane.”

“That’s real nice. I’ve got an aunt named Jane,” Hank informed her, easing his way nearer to her as Jane looked like she might pass out on the spot.

Mal immediately wanted to go and interfere but going all the way over there would leave Evie there to embarrass herself and get herself way in over her head.

Mal shared a glance with Uma, trying desperately to convey to her to go and defend Jane. Uma looked at her curiously, but quickly realized precisely what the faerie was getting at. Uma grabbed Jane’s wrist in her hand firmly and pulled the girl over behind the pirate. Uma then subtly tapped at Audrey’s hand and Audrey started to back up. However, when Beau tried to follow, Uma stepped in the way firmly.

“So what are y’all up to really? We never got a straight answer on that one,” Uma returned to business, and the boys all shared a big grin.

“Oh, we was out here gigging some frogs and catchin’ some crawdads for Pappy to cook up this evening,” Bobby Ray answered her as if it were the most normal thing in the world. Audrey wrinkled her nose impulsively and Jane frowned slightly. Uma raised an eyebrow, somewhat interested. Of course, that was likely due to the fact that she was willing to try anything that came out of the water.

Out of her peripheral vision, Mal quickly spotted Evie deflating and shrinking back at the words that her admirer was uttering. Evie backed up so that she was at least even with Mal, if not a bit further back.

“Well… That’s certainly… interesting,” Evie commented, and Mal could hear the evident disgust in her voice. There wasn’t a single bit of flirtatiousness left in the girl, and Mal knew at that point that Evie was most definitely over this boy.

Mal was almost ready to laugh. She could practically hear the thoughts running through Evie’s head right then, and almost all of them were definitely surrounding the fact that these boys were some sort of untamed, wild animals.

“Aw, don’t knock ‘em ‘till you try ‘em. They good! Real good!” Hank assured her, and Jane squeaked as he offered her a wink. Mal felt Evie’s grip on her hand tighten as she gazed upon the four boys.

“Hey, I-I got an idea!” Junior stammered a bit, still staring at Uma. Uma looked at him curiously, and the rest of the girls were honestly quite afraid of what his idea was.

“What if y’all came over this evenin’ and try out Pappy’s frog legs and crawfish chowder? We live just across from old man George’s house,” Junior suggested nervously, and all of the other boys nodded eagerly. Mal absently wondered if it had crossed the boys’ minds that the girls could not know where that was if they weren’t staying there.

However, what Uma had gathered from that statement was that she immediately knew how Lester was familiar. He was the man that owned the runaway donkey that tried to attack Uma.

“Well, we’re actually busy this evening,” Evie informed them with an apologetic tone of voice, and Audrey immediately jumped at the opportunity.

“Yes, yes! _Extremely_ busy! So unbelievably busy,” Audrey informed them, and Evie nodded emphatically, agreeing wholeheartedly with the pink princess.

“Yeah, we’re busy… But what do those frog legs taste like?” Uma questioned, and all of the other girls glared at her as they mentally slapped her.

“Aw, they’s the best thing y’all will ever put in y’all’s mouths!” Beau proudly proclaimed to them, and Junior, Hank, and Bobby Ray expressed varying forms of concordance with this statement.

“Can’t be. Shark’s the best thing in the world to eat,” Uma told them, and the boys shook their heads with wild, wolfish grins as they looked at Uma.

“Naw, naw, this stuff’s great!” Hank told her.

“It’s like chicken a-and fish all mixed into one!” Junior told her.

“And so, so good!” Bobby Ray expressed, and Uma raised her eyebrows, impressed at the praise that these boys were giving these frog legs. She was actually starting to feel an immense hankering for this food, too, and their talking wasn’t helping her in the least.

“Those sound nice and everything, but we’ve got to-”

“Those do sound nice. I think we might would come on over for a taste,” Uma informed them, and before Mal could even attempt to get the rest of them out of the invitation, the boys all got too excited to pay any attention to her protests.

“Honest?! Alright! Alright, then!” Hank grinned widely, punching Junior in the shoulder fondly.

“We’ll be seeing y’all tonight, then!” Beau pronounced.

“Yeah, we better be on our way to go gig some frogs for tonight,” Junior told them somewhat timidly and they all nodded eagerly.

“Yep, better be bringin’ in more than the usual haul!” Hank yelled as he, Junior, and Beau climbed up the embankment to go look for more frogs.

“Come on, Bobby Ray!” Beau called, and Bobby Ray looked at Evie with a big grin that reminded Mal a little of Ben’s stupid smiles that were so cute on him.

“Until tonight, Evie,” he wished her. He even dared to take Evie’s hand that was nearest to him, and he brought it up to his lips, kissing it gently as he attempted to look infinitely more suave than he actually was.

For her part, Evie just winced, but tried to cover it up with a smile as she felt her stomach get a little sick at the thought of this boy’s attraction to her, despite the fact that she had encouraged it originally. He released her and turned to go and join the others.

Once the girls were sure that the boys were out of earshot, Audrey smacked Uma’s arm and glared at her, the princess’s nostrils flaring in pure irritation.

“Have you lost your mind?!” Audrey almost screeched, and Uma withdrew from Audrey defensively as she headed toward the sand bank where her shoes were resting.

“No. We’re getting some good eating tonight,” Uma told her, licking her lips just barely at the thought of the frog legs. Audrey did a full-body shiver in pure disgust as she followed Uma out of the water.

“Yeah, but at what cost?! Possibly our lives!”

“Those boys were harmless,” Uma told her nonchalantly.

“I’ve watched movies about this, and I know for a fact that they do horrible things to you before killing you finally and hiding you so far in stump-jumper’s paradise that you’ll never be found again!” Audrey explained.

“Do you believe everything you watch on TV?” Uma questioned, and Audrey huffed in frustration as she hopped on one foot, pulling on her shoe.

“It’s called historical fiction, Uma! It’s like fiction, but it’s really based on history!” Audrey proclaimed, and Uma just rolled her eyes.

“Personally, I’m with Audrey,” Evie expressed somewhat quietly, and Mal just raised an eyebrow as she pulled on her shoe.

“You weren’t a minute ago,” Mal neutrally stated, not meaning it rudely or nicely. Evie immediately picked up on her irritation, and Mal felt Evie’s hand on her arm.

“How was I supposed to know he was a savage frog-killer?” Evie questioned innocently, and Mal huffed as she finished putting on her shoes.

“I kept tugging on your arm to make you shut up,” Mal told her, allowing a bit of her frustration at Uma and the entire situation to seep into her voice.

“Mal… You know I don’t take non-verbal commands well,” Evie weakly defended and Mal sighed just sighed deeply as they started back toward the road.

“Are you mad at me?” Evie asked in such a sweet and small voice that Mal couldn’t help but bring her big sister closer to her in a side embrace as she rested her head on Evie’s shoulder.

“No, sweetie. I’m mad at Uma,” Mal pointed out, and Uma spun around toward her, walking backwards.

“What did I do?” Mal just glared at her and Evie looked at her somewhat disappointedly, successfully communicating volumes without a single word uttered. Uma just offered a guilty grin before averting her gaze with a small sigh.

They continued on in silence for a few more moments before Uma spoke up again.

“Well, we could all just focus on what’s really important,” Uma told them, and the other four looked at her curiously as they stepped onto the road.

“And what would that be?” Jane asked innocently.

“We’ll be able to leave here saying we roughed it and had to eat frogs to survive.”

Unfortunately, nobody could deny her logic there.

But everyone also couldn’t deny how badly they didn’t want to go that evening.


	18. Day Five: Evening

“Okaaaay…. I don’t know what I was expecting, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t that,” Uma spoke awkwardly, looking at the really creepy old looking shack wood house in the middle of the woods. The girls had actually not known what to expect because George had ended up bringing the donkey back to Lester during the whole fiasco with it chasing Uma and with Evie on top.

Evie gulped, and Mal quickly noticed that Evie was starting to sneak her foot forward in the floorboard. Mal quickly reached over and put her hand on Evie’s knee to keep her from hitting the gas pedal as hard as she could and leaving the place.

“I’m going to die, you guys,” Audrey announced to them dramatically, and Uma just raised an eyebrow at her. “It’s not in the exact way that I thought of, but it _is_ because of Uma.”

“Wait, you think of me being the cause of your death?” Uma asked, and Audrey nodded with a sniff as she withdrew her phone.

“It’s so scary,” Jane commented, fearfully peering out the window as if she were afraid some ghoul or goblin would come gobble her up from the forest around them.

“Okay… I love you, and I am very sorry that I will never see you again. I planned for us to have five kids, each one named after us, and for you to arise to the throne by my side. Jay, I hereby give you the right to distribute everything I own amongst worthy individuals, and I officially give you permission to take all of Uma’s stuff, too, since she was the person that got us into this,” Audrey spoke aloud, and before she could send the text, Uma snatched it from her grasp, deleting all that Audrey had typed so quickly. Audrey shot her a glare as she tried to take it back from the pirate.

“Give me back my phone!”

“No! We don’t want the boys to know about this! Then they’ll come out here and drag us away, and I won’t even get a taste of frog legs up in my mouth!” Uma informed her, stuffing Audrey’s phone in Uma’s pocket.

After a paused moment of looking out the window, the other girls mentally preparing themselves for what they were about to do, Uma unbuckled her seatbelt. Uma grabbed the car door, starting to open it, and she looked back at Audrey somewhat offendedly.

“And besides all that, don’t you be giving away my stuff without my full consent,” Uma informed her shortly. Audrey rolled her eyes, but shot a fearful glance at the house as she got out behind Jane.

Mal got out of the Jeep carefully, on-guard in case something was going to come out of the forest like Audrey seemed to believe. Evie came around the front of Charlene, and when she did, the most blood-curdling sound split the air, and Mal jumped out of her skin and nearly onto Evie as she clung onto the other girl.

“M, what-” Evie started to question, but she quickly realized precisely what had scared Mal so badly. Not too far from them ears perked in an alert stance, there was a large hound dog standing in the yard. Mal was now nearly climbed onto Evie, and Evie sighed slightly, bracing herself firmly as Mal held on tightly.

“Mal, it’s just a dog, and I think you startled it,” Evie informed her, and Mal looked at Evie with wide eyes as she held onto the bluenette tightly.

“ _I_ startled it?! _It_ startled me!” Mal cried, and Evie shook her head, bracing herself strongly against Mal weight as she grabbed under Mal’s legs to better support her as she walked them toward the house. Audrey followed along with Uma close by her and Jane trailing behind the both of them nervously.

They approached the door, and Mal finally decided to get down off of the Evie piggyback ride, but she did linger close to Evie, despite her firm shake of the shoulders and casual tilt of the head as she attempted to regain some sense of pride and dignity.

Uma knocked on the door solidly and carefully, and after only a moment, Bobby Ray was at the door and had answered it. His eyes immediately lit up as he looked at Evie.

“Y’all are here!” he excitedly proclaimed, and he waved them in.

“Come on in!” Bobby Ray told them as he stood aside for them to enter. Audrey offered Uma a glare but straightened a bit as she very gracefully walked in, guessing that if she was going to die that night then she’d die with poise.

Evie automatically laced her fingers in Mal’s tightly, and she reached her other hand to grab Mal’s same arm as she tried to ensure that none of her hands were free for grabbing. After the stunt that Bobby Ray had pulled when she last saw him earlier, she honestly wanted to keep him from having a chance to do it again.

He looked a little disappointed, and Evie assumed that he must have indeed been planning to try it again. However, he quickly shook it off, and they turned to the left to look at the large dinner table nearby the kitchen just behind it.

All of the boys were already seated, seemingly just waiting for the girls to come in. They all put on their most winning grins directed at the girl of their choice, and Jane almost turned and ran out the door as Hank looked at her.

A woman in the kitchen turned around to face them, hardly a tooth in her head as she looked at the girls. Audrey swallowed, subtly swiping her tongue over her own perfect teeth just to ensure they were still where they belonged and in proper order.

“Good evenin’, ladies,” the woman spoke up in a highly affected country accent, and Evie offered her one of those big grins that had all of her usual charm but had her signature “help me” look in her eyes.

“I’m Missus Jolene Beauregard,” she introduced, and Evie nodded gracefully, answering for everyone else since they were much too busy staring at the woman’s teeth or lack thereof. Of course, it didn’t stop Evie from singing Dolly Parton’s “Jolene” in her head.

“Hi! It’s so nice to meet you. This is Mal, that’s Audrey, this one here’s Uma, the girl in the back is Jane, and I’m Evie.”

“Oh, so _you’re_ Evie? I’ve heard a lot about you,” Mrs. Beauregard winked in a conspiratorial sort of manner, and Evie swallowed but mustered a slight semblance of a smile.

“Come on, sit down. I wanna get to know my future daughter-in-law,” she grinned widely, not a hint of joking in her expression. Evie shared a subtle glance with Mal, feeling her heart stop as she thought of the horrid nightmare that would be having the position of Mrs. Genevieve Catarina Beauregard.

But before they could begin to obey her command, an older man came stumbling in through the back door, the dog from earlier coming in with him. Evie immediately felt Mal cling a little tighter to her, but the dog passed by after only a small sniff in their direction, too interested in the food to be bothered with the girls. The man took one look at them before he headed over with a big grin.

“Hey, there,” the man greeted. “I’m Lester.”

They all smiled at him and Evie went through the introductions once more.

“Let me just say, I’m glad that y’all came over to see us and our boys. They’re mighty excited about y’all,” Lester told them with a big grin, and all of the girls expressed varying forms of very hesitant agreement.

“Well, well, well! Let’s sit down and enjoy these vittles, then, why don’t we?!” Lester announced with a smile, taking his place at the head of the table. After taking off her large white apron, Jolene sat at the other end.

“Well, we’ve got everything set up for y’all. Just add more to your plates if you need it,” the boys’ mother announced as everyone awkwardly took their seats. Evie sat nearest to the head of the table with Mal following, Audrey after her, Uma in the next seat, and Jane at the very end.

“Would one of you girls like to say the blessing?” Lester questioned after a moment, and the girls were taken off-guard a bit. However, Evie was quick on the uptake and started to nod her assent, but Mal quickly interrupted her before she could volunteer.

“Yes, sir, if you don’t mind, I think our good friend Uma should. She’s the reason that we got to come to this,” Mal paused, looking at the deer heads mounted to the wall and the various trophies and fish surrounding her. She swallowed before finishing her sentence.

“This wonderful household of yours,” Mal complimented finally, and the man just smiled at her sweetly. Mal looked to Uma, nodding as she knew she had put Uma in a difficult position. Of course, in Mal’s opinion, she was pretty sure the other girl deserved it fully.

Uma shot her a strange look, but to her credit, she did clear her throat and get ready to pray. Everyone else at the table bowed their heads respectfully.

“Well, um,” Uma stammered for just a moment, trying to think of what in the world she was going to say. She suddenly got a great idea--- or at least the best idea that she could think of on that short of notice--- and she took a deep breath.

“Okay… Well, we pledge allegiance to the United States of Auradon,” Uma started, and everyone immediately opened their eyes as they looked at the pirate with her eyes closed.

“And to the republic for which it stands,” Uma continued, and Audrey just gaped at her as if she had lost her mind.

“One nation under God… uh… indivisible!” Uma picked up where she had left off, and Evie furrowed her brow, hesitantly bringing her right hand to her heart as she slowly arose. Mal shook her head, but let Evie have her patriotism.

“With liberty and justice for all. The end!” Uma finished, opening her eyes and starting to tear into her food. Evie returned to her seat carefully, and Audrey offered everyone at the table an awkward smile as she tried to make up for whatever the heck that Uma had just done.

All of the countryfolk started into their meal and Audrey started to poke at her frog legs carefully. Evie was trying to decide whether to use her fork or her fingers, but she couldn’t quite settle on which. Mal didn’t even attempt to look remotely interested in the food as she crossed her legs in her chair to avoid the mutt in the floor. Honestly, with that dog under the table, Mal was ready to leave no matter what terms they were all on by the end of it.

After only a few moments, the painfully awkward silence was interrupted by Uma’s loud sounds of appreciation.

“Mmm, mmm, mmm! You boys didn’t tell me it’d be like heaven in food,” Uma proclaimed, and the boys all considerably perked up as they grinned widely.

“It’s good, ain’t it? We told you it would be!” Beau proudly announced, and Uma nodded, pointing her fork at him with a smile.

Audrey was still poking at her frog legs just barely, and Mal was subtly watching Evie as she used her hand to beckon the dog over nearby her. Evie then took the frog leg in her hand and put it near her mouth before letting her hand drop slowly and feeding it to the dog carefully.

Mal couldn’t help but commend her on her creativity and cunning. Evie scratched the dog under the chin before working another frog leg down to him carefully and slowly.

“Man, am I sorry that I didn’t have this in my life before!” Uma complimented, and Lester visibly puffed up at the praises to his cooking.

“I’ll tell you what, little lady, you have as much as you want,” Lester told her warmly, and Uma nodded with bright eyes.

Jane had originally not planned to eat any frog legs--- after all, Audrey claimed they were terribly nasty--- but now that she saw Uma, the nearest in proximity to her of the group of girls, eating the stuff like it was going out of style, Jane couldn’t help but have second thoughts.

So Jane hesitantly took her fork and ate a bite of one. She hummed in appreciation, enjoying the taste, and she looked down the line at Audrey.

“It tastes like chicken!” Jane announced before eating more of it. She tried diligently not to pay attention to Hank sitting right across from her and staring, but it wasn’t too hard of a feat since the frog legs were so good.

“So, tell me about y’all,” Jolene spoke, and all of the girls had a collective pause before resuming in whatever they had been doing before. Evie cleared her throat, unsure of what to say as she felt Jolene’s as well as Bobby Ray’s gazes on her heavily.

“Any hobbies? Y’all like to fish?” Jolene asked, and Evie immediately remembered the fish that she, Mal, and Jane had successfully caught at George and Anne’s pond.

“Actually, yeah. I caught a fish just the other evening that was at least a foot and a half long,” Evie informed them nonchalantly, and she smiled against her will when her audience seemed to almost draw closer in their eagerness to hear about it.

“Ooh… Tell us, tell us!” Junior begged.

“How’d you catch it?” Bobby Ray asked, and Evie grinned widely as she subtly fed another bit to the dog. Mal almost rolled her eyes, knowing that Evie was about to launch into what Mal referred to as ham mode.

“Well… We were at a pond not too far from here,” Evie started, and Mal readied herself for whatever great yarn Evie was going to spin. Uma wasn’t really paying attention, and she was mostly focused on the frog legs. Jane was eating them, too, but not quite as fast as Uma.

“It was me, this one, and Jane in the boat, and I had just set loose the perfect cast,” Evie recounted, and Jane suddenly realized that her stomach didn’t feel so well. It rumbled uncomfortably and Jane immediately stopped eating, realizing that those frog legs obviously weren’t doing her stomach any good at all.

“But that was when what felt like the hound of Hades viciously clamped down upon my line, dragging it down to the depths of the pond,” Evie proclaimed, giving another bite to the dog since everyone was so centered on her story and her face as she told it. Audrey just rolled her eyes in response to Evie’s crazy storytelling.

Jane suddenly realized that her stomach was hurting really badly and there was a certain pressure that she didn’t recognize before. So she subtly crossed her legs in an attempt to ward it away.

“It had me really good, so I grabbed onto that pole seriously hard. Yes, I meant business, and I latched onto that pole like an alligator, my grip unrelenting and steadfast,” Evie described, and Mal had to give it to the other girl. Evie could tell a great story.

“What happened then?!” Bobby Ray asked, his eyes more on her mouth than the rest of her face.

“It almost dragged me in. But with Mal grabbing onto my middle, and Jane grabbing onto Mal’s, we pulled,” Evie explained. Jane realized quickly that something bad was going to happen as the pressure increased in her stomach.

“And we pulled. And we pulled! And we pulled! Until-”

All of a sudden, there was a fart that sounded off at the table. Evie paused immediately in her story, looking down the line of people as she found herself bumfuzzled at the fact that somebody had actually passed gas in their current setting.

“Uh… We didn’t pull that hard,” Evie murmured, and Mal laughed once sharply, unable to keep in her awkward mirth.

At this point, everyone was looking at everybody around the table. Uma had the oddest smirk on her face, but Mal knew that she couldn’t have done it. Mal knew that Uma was either silent but deadly or loud and proud. Whatever just happened a moment ago was neither of those. It was more in the middle.

However, before anyone could come to any conclusions about who it might or might not have been, Uma suddenly started waving her hand around her face, coughing.

“Dadgum, that is horrible! Have mercy on my soul! Dang, Jane, those frog legs didn’t set well with you, did they?!” Uma pronounced and everyone in the room immediately knew precisely who had done it.

The four boys across from them were gaping at Jane, and from the look on their faces, they were confused about whether they were more impressed by her now or significantly less attracted to her.

“I’m gonna have a brown haze around my head for the rest of the night!” Uma complained loudly, wheezing as Audrey slapped her arm in an attempt to make the pirate stop talking. Jane was sinking down in her seat in pure and terrible mortification.

Mal honestly couldn’t take the awkwardness of the situation anymore, and so she started laughing, adding to the pandemonium unfolding on the girls’ side of the table.

Evie looked at all of her friends, realizing quickly that she was the only one amongst them that was perfectly calm and normal acting. Evie sighed, and ultimately decided that she needed to step up and be the adult in this situation.

“Mr. and Mrs. Beauregard, let me sincerely apologize for their behavior. This one,” Evie placed a hand on Mal’s head as she practically fell in the floor laughing, “the loud one,” Evie pointed at Uma fussing loudly about Jane’s supposed stink, “and the one who pooted,” Evie finished, pointing at Jane, and Mal snorted hard at Evie’s terminology as she laughed even more.

“Oh, it’s alright, hon, you ought to hear Lester when he rips one,” Jolene told Evie with a cackle.

“Now, dear, you drop the bombs when everybody’s least expecting it!’ Lester proclaimed, and Evie suddenly realized that she was truly the only person in the entire room that was normal.

“I’m gonna have to go home and shower to get this stench off!” Uma kept on complaining, and Audrey kept on shaking her shoulder and trying to make her stop.

“Whoo, and it keeps on giving! You sure you didn’t crap in your pants? Never trust a fart, after all!” Uma announced, and Jane was nearly glowing red as she sunk further into her seat.

Audrey rolled her eyes, deciding that she needed to get out of there for a minute as she stood up. Not to mention that she had to pee.

“Excuse me, but where’s the restroom?” Audrey questioned.

“Why’re you going? The frog legs not doing you no good neither?” Uma questioned, coughing hard. Audrey just glared at her.

“I have to pee, now quiet down!” Audrey harshly whispered, and Evie looked at Audrey somewhat strangely.

“I always call it twinkling,” Evie informed her seriously, and Mal laughed even harder, almost wheezing at this rate, and Audrey just rolled her eyes, irritated at the fact that Evie had fallen prey to the ridiculousness of these people in here.

“We got us an outhouse ‘round back,” Lester informed her with a grin, and Audrey’s eyes widened a bit as she took in that fact. However, she was more than willing to go out and look for it if it meant getting away from the scene that Uma and Jane had successfully created.

“Thank you very much. I’ll be right back,” Audrey informed them, and to her surprise and pure dread, Uma got up with her.

“I think I’ll come with you. This is killing me,” Uma told her, and Audrey very begrudgingly headed out the back door with Uma behind her.

As soon as they were outside, Audrey launched into a whispering angry rant as she looked for the outhouse.

“What the heck is wrong with you?! You called out Jane farting and made an enormous scene at the dinner table!” Audrey told her angrily, and Uma shrugged.

“At least I got my frog legs.”

“And those danged frog legs! Could you have stopped shoveling them in your mouth for two seconds to think of table manners?!” Audrey cried, finally seeing the outhouse as they headed toward it.

“Yeah, but they’re so good. You should’ve tried them,” Uma pointed out, and Audrey growled under her breath.

“Those are unclean and positively disgusting!” Audrey informed her harshly, and they were quiet as Audrey reached the door to the outhouse. She immediately thought she would gag at the disgusting stench, but she held the contents of her stomach firmly where they belonged.

“And what were you doing in there when you prayed?! That’s the Pledge of Allegiance!” Audrey cried.

“Well, it was either that or talk about God and Cheez-Its, but I decided to do the Pledge since it sounded more appropriate for our situation,” Uma told her, and Audrey stared at the other girl as if she lost her mind.

“ _Who_ and _what_ is Cheez-Its?”

“You know. Who people always talk about when they talk about God and stuff,” Uma nonchalantly explained, obviously not understanding the mistake in wording that she had made.

“That’s Jesus, you nincompoop!” Audrey almost yelled, and went into the outhouse quickly, shutting the door behind her quickly.

“Oh! So that’s why I get such strange looks when I say Cheez-Its crackers are holy!”

She immediately realized there were leeches on the walls of the outhouse, and she closed her eyes, truly preferring that she didn’t know why. Audrey quickly got ready to hover over the toilet, but she suddenly heard a loud croak. Audrey jumped away from the toilet, pulling her pants up quickly before turning to look at the latrine, and she realized an enormous bullfrog was sitting in the bowl looking at her with its giant bug eyes.

Audrey immediately screeched, tumbling back into the door as she opened it swiftly. Uma jumped out of her way, trying to figure out what had spooked the princess.

“What is your problem?”

“Go in there and look! It’s friggin’ horrifying!!!” Audrey screeched, and Uma reopened the door.

Uma stepped in and immediately winced in disgust, but she quickly spotted the giant frog. Uma couldn’t help but laugh about the entire situation, and she turned back to Audrey.

“Seriously? A frog?”

“They’re haunting me on my plate and on the other side. And I didn’t even eat them!” Audrey gagged at the very thought and Uma chuckled.

“You ready to go back in, princess?” Uma asked, and Audrey shook her head.

“No! I still have to pee!” Audrey protested, and Uma nodded, pointing to the large tree not too far away.

“Alright, then, why don’t you go around the back of that tree over there and do your thing?” Uma suggested, and Audrey cringed, looking between the house and the tree.

“Uma, that is just crude! And what if one of those boys comes out here, and you know!” Audrey whined, trailing off as she looked at Uma expectantly, and Uma raised an eyebrow.

“See your naked butt?” Uma questioned, and Audrey nodded emphatically.

“Yes!”

“Don’t worry, I’ll stand guard,” Uma told her confidently. Audrey sighed deeply, trying to decide how badly she needed to pee. Ultimately, the side that said really badly won, and Audrey huffed, heading for the tree with Uma not too far behind her.

Uma leaned against the side of the tree facing the house, and Audrey went around behind it.

“Now, Uma, you watch that door like a hawk,” Audrey commanded, and Uma rolled her eyes.

“As you wish, princess,” Uma replied shortly, watching the door idly.

However, after only a moment, the most wicked idea came to Uma. She realized that Audrey couldn’t see most of what she could see on her side of the tree, and so she ultimately made the decision to have a little fun with that fact.

“Hey, Beau! What brings you out here?” Uma asked loudly, and she could feel Audrey’s scowl.

“Oh, this is not going to be like jail. I’m not falling for it this time,” Audrey told her firmly, and Uma held back the laugh.

“Who? Audrey? Oh, yeah, she’s back here doing her twinkle thing,” Uma spoke, and Audrey furrowed her brow in worry, trying to gauge whether Uma was just tricking her.

“You’re messing with me,” Audrey almost uncertainly pointed out, and Uma decided that she’d keep going since she had the girl almost convinced of Beau’s presence there.

“Yeah, I know. It’s so dang rude for a lady to be taking a whiz in your backyard, am I right?” Uma continued, and Audrey finally broke.

“He’s not really there?! Uma?! Please?!” Audrey begged, and Uma finally allowed herself to laugh about it.

“Gotcha,” Uma chuckled, and Audrey sighed in frustration.

“You are so irritating.”

Uma looked around the yard curiously, waiting on Audrey to finish up. However, before she could look too far, she suddenly spotted what was quite possibly the most terrifying sight that she had seen all day.

There not too far from her was Willis the donkey, and he was grazing nearby. Uma’s eyes widened as she instinctually pressed herself a bit closer to the tree.

“Oh, crap, oh, crap, oh, crap,” Uma spoke aloud, and the donkey suddenly stopped its eating and looked up at her. They met eyes and Uma felt the sudden urge to run.

“You aren’t tricking me a third time,” Audrey told her with a knowing laugh, but Uma shook her head.

“I’m not,” Uma replied, and she had just enough worry in her voice to actually concern Audrey.

“Uma? What’s going on?” Audrey asked, and Uma stared the donkey down. It looked at her strangely before starting to walk toward her.

“No, no, no! It’s coming closer,” Uma announced, and Audrey was freaking out a bit.

“What?!” The donkey started hurrying toward Uma faster, and Uma went into full panic mode.

“DANGIT!” Uma screamed, taking off for the house quickly as the donkey started toward her.

However, Audrey wasn’t even aware of what Uma had just ran from, and for all she knew, it was some machete-wielding hillbilly waiting to murder her when she came out from around the tree. Audrey quickly pulled her pants up and pressed herself hard against the tree, trying to cautiously peer around it. At this point, all she could see was what looked like Willis.

Audrey took a few deep breaths, trying to calm herself as she thought rationally. What would a survivor do? One of those in the books that she so loved to read? Audrey sighed deeply, closing her eyes as she really dreaded what she was about to do.

Audrey sucked in a breath before taking off toward the house as fast as she possibly could, opening the back door quickly and almost slamming it behind her in her haste. She stood there for a moment, catching her breath, before heading back into the dining room to find Uma.

“Uma?” Audrey called, and she spotted the girl sitting there and eating frog legs as if nothing ever happened. Evie was trying to get Mal to quieten, and Lester was telling Jane all about his most embarrassing farts.

Uma looked up at Audrey innocently as if she hadn’t just done what she had done, and Audrey narrowed her eyes.

“What?” Audrey just came and sat between her and Mal as she leaned over near to the pirate.

“Why did you leave me out there?”

“Well… There were complications.”

“All I saw was a donkey.”

“That was the complication.”

“Uh-huh…”

“So, did I ever tell y’all about how I went to bed one night to the worst smell in the world?” Lester suddenly spoke, and Audrey just rolled her eyes, facepalming as she listened to Lester recount the most stinky gas he’d ever smelled.

Needless to say, it was a long rest of the evening there at the Beauregard house, and when they finally got ready to leave, every one of the boys was offering to wish them a goodbye when they left the next day. The girls just smiled and waved, and as soon as they got in the Jeep, they all did a full body shiver at the thought of having to see any members of that family any longer.

And when they finally got back to where they were staying with George and Anne, they were fully ready to go to bed.

But they had one more thing planned that Evie had hinted at almost every night when looking out the window at the barn.

So, Evie, Audrey, Mal, Uma with her puppy, and Jane were all relaxing there in a clear space in the cattle pasture as they looked at the stars, all of them aligned in a circle as they gazed upward. The stars were positively gorgeous, and they all were enamored by them. After all, on the Isle, there were no stars, and in the hubbub of Auradon, there were rarely stars to be seen.

Evie sighed deeply in contentment, and Mal looked over at her with a smile.

“Are you happy?” Mal asked, reaching for Evie’s hand and squeezing it gently.

“Yeah… this is great,” Evie expressed with a contented smile, and Mal nodded happily.

“Hey, y’all? You think we should tell the boys what went down tonight when we call in just a sec?” Uma questioned, stroking the white puppy next to her as it slept against her stomach comfortably. Uma smiled softly at it before turning her attentions to the other girls.

“No,” Mal replied simply.

“Definitely not,” Evie expressed with a slight laugh, and they looked at the stars for a moment more before Uma reached for her phone with a sigh.

“Alright… I guess I’ll call Gil,” Uma told them, and she dialed her crewmate swiftly, holding back the phone from her face so she could speak to the boy.

“ _Hello? Oh, hi, Uma_!” Gil greeted with a large, goofy grin. Uma couldn’t help but smile back.

“Hey, dude. What’s up?”

“ _Nothing much. Are you guys still at the farm?_ ” Gil questioned, and Uma knew he wasn’t questioning them, but was rather honestly asking.

“Yeah. Look at the stars, you knucklehead,” Uma told him, turning the camera up to the sky so that he could see.

“ _Wow… I wish I was there…_

“ _But how are you guys doing? Are you having fun_?” Gil asked cheerily, and Uma nodded.

“Yeah, as fun as can be expected,” Uma told him, referencing all of the fun moments they had during that week.

“ _That’s good. The other guys really thought you girls would be having no fun at all. Especially Harry and Jay._ ”

“Why’s that?” Uma asked curiously, honestly thinking that sounded a little fishy.

“ _Because Ben, Carlos, Jay, and Harry planned up all of you guys’ jobs that you were given on the farm_ ,” Gil told them, and they all froze as they focused on what he had said.

“What?” Uma asked, almost venomously as she took in this bit of information.

“ _Oops! I wasn’t supposed to say anything_!” Gil spoke, looking suddenly worried. Uma mustered up a big grin as she looked at the boy.

“Oh, don’t worry about it, Gil. Hey, listen, we’ve got to go. We’ll see you guys tomorrow afternoon or evening, okay?” Uma told him, full of false sweetness. Gil looked immensely relieved as he sighed and nodded happily.

They got off the phone, and the girls quietly considered exactly what they had just heard.

“I am going to kill them when we get home,” Audrey spoke first, and Uma nodded wholeheartedly. However, Mal smiled evilly suddenly, and Evie looked at her curiously.

“What are you thinking?” the bluenette asked, and Mal just shook her head.

“Let’s give the boys a taste of evil,” Mal announced, and they all nodded eagerly, looking forward to hearing this plan.

“First, I say we hit the sack. I’ll fill you in on the details as we head back,” Mal told them, and they all started to get up. They all clambered to their feet, Uma grabbing her sleepy puppy in her arms, and Evie suddenly grinned sweetly.

“Hey, guys, on the bright side, I just realized that Elmer didn’t even bite me today!” Evie cried as they stood up there in the grassy field. But before she could appreciate this thought for much longer, she suddenly felt a hard pinch and a honk behind her.

“YOU LITTLE HONKY TONKY BOOTY BITER!!!”


	19. Parting is Such Sweet Sorrow

It was an exceedingly beautiful morning. As soon as they all woke up, the girls immediately felt a sense of terrible unhappiness and unsettlement as they faced the realization that it was their last morning there before they went home.

Every one of them was extremely sad, and everyone was looking sullen as they got dressed and got ready to go down the ladder and to the house.

Uma had steeled herself for the fact that she was going to have to leave her fluffy little friend, and there was no other way. She hated it really bad, and it was terribly upsetting but she had resigned herself to it. She just hoped that she didn’t see the puppy before she left, because she wasn’t sure how well she’d be able to handle to overwhelming emotion that would hit her.

Evie was significantly more huggy and touchy-feely with Mal, but Mal was the same way with her. Of course, they always had an unrivalled closeness, but they were really leaning on one another as they fought through this feeling of sadness.

Audrey was quieter than usual and Jane said absolutely nothing at all.

The girls ended up outside after a few minutes, and they were headed to the house when Elmer suddenly appeared in front of them. Evie froze, stopping to look at the goose as she took in its appearance. Uma instinctually looked for her pup, but quickly reminded herself to not search. She would really rather not have to be upset.

“You’re here to bite me, aren’t you?” Evie questioned as she stared at the bird, and the goose just tilted his head at her and honked.

“Hey, dude, leave her alone, okay? She told me last night that she’s seriously got two giant bruises on either side of her butt,” Mal expressed to the goose, leaning toward it and whispering quietly. Evie looked at Mal with an expression of betrayal.

“Mal!”

“Sorry! Just don’t bite her butt,” Mal commanded the duck, but Evie shook her head slightly, hugging Mal from the side slightly.

“Look, if you do, I guess it’s just tradition now. I’ll look the other way, okay? Here’s your free ticket,” Evie told him, and they started toward the house once again. Evie had braced herself, fully ready for the goose to take a bite out of crime.

But he never did.

Evie paused and actually allowed herself to loosen up, enjoying the fact that he must have actually finally decided to like her and not bite her.

But there was suddenly a swift nip to her behind, and Evie closed her eyes, the bite in the exact place that he always struck. Mal snorted at Evie as she shook her head at the bluenette fondly.

“You seriously thought he wouldn’t?”

“I was hoping. But it was very much in vain,” Evie replied simply, and Mal hugged Evie lovingly as they traversed up the steps of the farmhouse as a certain sadness set into them more greatly.

When they entered, breakfast was already ready for the girls, and they quietly sat down at the table and ate breakfast with George and Anne. However, their conversation that ensued from their time together at the table was not one of sadness, despite the definitive feeling of it in their guts.

In fact, when they went back outside, heading for Evie’s Jeep, they were all laughing and joking about Evie and Audrey’s incident with the pigs.

“And I shake Uma awake, and she’s totally confused, but you should have seen Jane! She nearly jumped out of her skin when I woke _her_ up!” Mal told them as they all nodded and laughed.

“So, we grab our phones and turn on the flashlights on them to go see what had happened to Audrey and Evie now, and that’s when we met you guys,” Mal pointed at Anne and George with a big grin.

“By the time we get out there to you two, we were totally and completely confused and kind of worried. Uma wanted to get a big stick, but I’m not sure who she wanted to beat with it. Whatever was attacking Evie and Audrey or me for waking her up!” Mal laughed and everyone else couldn’t help but join in. Uma just shrugged, mustering a bit of a grin as she unashamedly claimed her position on the situation.

Once everyone quieted down from the bout of mirth and stopped by Charlene, everyone realized that it was time. Time to say goodbye.

George cleared his throat, looking at his wife, and Anne nodded.

“It’s been really nice to have y’all here, and we’re going to miss you terribly,” Anne expressed as they finally had to face the inevitable as they stood there before Evie’s Jeep.

All of the girls offered some form of agreement, not feeling happy at all. As much as they were looking forward to home, they didn’t want to leave Anne and George either.

No one really knew what to say, so George just plowed through as he always did, rather unhappy with the current situation.

“Well, y’all be careful, okay?” George told them somewhat grimly, and Anne nodded, her eyes looking terribly strange. Evie and Mal smiled at the both of them softly before hugging them both gently.

“We will. Thank you for everything. We enjoyed our five days and appreciated it so much,” Mal expressed sweetly, knowing that when she said it, it was true. Despite their difficulties, they were all thankful for the experience.

“And we’re going to miss you so much,” Evie added with a sad smile as she squeezed them a little tighter.

George nodded quietly, and the two girls pulled away from the both of them carefully, keeping their hands on their shoulders for a moment before stepping back to allow Jane and Audrey to hug them as well.

“Y’all be sure to come back and visit,” Anne told them, and Audrey nodded quickly.

“We will. Thank you, Mister George and Miss Anne, for everything,” Jane expressed, and Audrey grinned.

“You guys showed me that I am able to rough it,” Audrey giggled, knowing that she was most likely far from actually roughing it in a traditional sense. Anne and George chuckled in response to her joke, and the two girls pulled away.

Uma came over to them and offered them quick side hugs, not being much for long and big ones like the rest of the girls. Besides, her heart was feeling too heavy right now to concentrate on anything besides her feelings. Uma sighed deeply, offering them a smile and a salute as she headed toward the car with the rest of them.

Evie got into the Jeep and cranked it, shutting her door and rolling down all of the windows quickly as she looked down at the steering wheel with a sigh before looking at the elderly couple standing nearby with a slight smile.

Mal came around her side of the car and got in just as Jane was getting in on her side. Audrey opened her side of the car door and Uma was just behind her as she tried to keep herself together.

Uma swallowed hard, swearing that she wasn’t going to do it. She wasn’t going to fall apart right here. Besides, she hadn’t seen the little white fluffball for the whole morning and Uma had never even had a dog or wanted a dog. There was absolutely no reason to be upset.

_Yip! Yip!_

Uma turned around from her place standing in front of the back door to Charlene to see the little white runt of the litter running toward her as fast as she could. Uma felt her throat tighten uncomfortably and she walked forward, falling to her knees as she opened her arms to receive the pup.

It bowled right into her and she hugged it tightly against her, burying her face into the thick fur of its neck as she sat there on the ground and held it.

Uma suddenly felt a moisture on her cheeks, and she sniffled, trying desperately to hold back the tears as she bit her gum hard. The puppy snuffled her neck, sensing her emotional state and it licked her ear softly. Uma then couldn’t hold back the sob as she stroked the back of its head.

However, before she could focus on this too much, she suddenly felt a pair of arms encircle her. She looked up just barely from the puppy and realized just from the offensive shade of pink not too far from her sight that it was Audrey. This shocked her to no end, but she allowed herself to receive the comfort, knowing that she needed it if she was going to somehow leave this puppy here. She reached up and wrapped an arm around Audrey firmly.

“I’m so sorry, Uma,” Audrey apologized softly, and Uma nodded, attempting desperately to get ahold of herself, but at the pup’s worried whimpering, she almost fell back into sobbing again.

Uma swallowed hard and gently pulled away from Audrey as she looked down at her--- no, _the_ pup.

Uma bottom lip trembled as Audrey knelt next to her, an arm around her shoulders comfortingly. Uma’s eyes were only on the puppy, though, despite her gratitude to Audrey.

“You be a good girl, okay, baby? I’ve got to go. You rule this farm, squirt,” Uma instructed, grabbing the puppy’s head in her hands and kissing her head softly before leaning her forehead against its own. It quickly moved out of her grasp and licked her nose, its head tilted innocently. Uma felt her heart seize, knowing that the puppy had no idea what was about to happen to the both of them.

Uma was just looking into its brown eyes, and Audrey squeezed Uma’s shoulder comfortingly as Uma started to stand up to face the two old people. Audrey stood up with her, and she kept her hand on Uma’s back.

“Y’all get her a nice home, okay? She’ll make somebody a really good dog,” Uma told them, trying desperately to ignore how the puppy kept jumping up onto her leg and trying to lick her limp hand hanging down. She knew if she looked back down at the little pup, she’d be in tears all over again.

George and Anne shared a glance as they looked between Uma and the little white bundle of joy that was whimpering a bit as Uma didn’t pay as much attention to her as she wanted her to.

“Well, we think we’ve actually already found her a home,” George expressed to Uma. Uma felt as if she had been slapped in the face, but she immediately berated herself, trying desperately to be happy that they had found a good home for her.

“That’s good news. Are they going to take care of her well? What will she be doing?” Uma questioned, pushing her voice forward as her throat wanted to close up tightly in the midst of the fresh wave of tears that were coming upon her.

“I think her new owner will take care of her really well, and I guess she’ll be just living out her days in a nice house. But we know that she’ll be very happy,” Anne told Uma with a smile, and Uma nodded resignedly, glad that at least the little puppy would be happy.

“Do they know what responsibility they’re getting into with her? She’s going to be a really big dog, after all, so she’s naturally going to need some exercise and a ton of food,” Uma explained, and felt the fluffball sit down on her foot. Uma almost cried then, but she held it together, not really understanding why she was so upset over an animal. One thing was for certain, though, she couldn’t imagine what it would be like to have to leave her, despite the fact that Uma was doing that very thing now.

“Well, we’re pretty sure you know what responsibility you’re getting into,” George told Uma with a loving smile, and Uma’s eyes snapped up as soon as she registered that one particular word. Uma looked at Audrey and Audrey had a huge grin on her face as she gazed at Uma fondly.

“What? Me? I get to take her home?” Uma asked, and George nodded. Uma’s eyes went wide and her lips spread into an enormous smile as she surged forward, hugging the two old people.

“Thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!” Uma cried, squeezing them tightly.

“Don’t thank us, dear, thank Audrey. She asked us if we could possibly let you have the pup on y’all’s first night here, and we told her we’d have to check to make sure you’d be ready for the responsibility,” Anne told her, and Uma let go of the both of them, her face somewhat blank in surprise as she turned to face Audrey slowly.

For her part, Audrey just offered Uma an awkward but soft smile as she eyed the pirate sweetly. Uma shook her head, pointing her finger at Audrey teasing before crushing Audrey into a giant hug.

“Thank you,” Uma murmured under her breath nearby Audrey’s ear, and Audrey squeezed her tightly in return.

“You’re welcome.”

“M, did you put in a good word for me?” Evie suddenly asked from her position in the driver’s seat with the windows rolled down.

“No, because you already put in a bad word for yourself with me when you were a dog,” Mal told her, and Uma pulled away from Audrey with a laugh as she looked at a pouting Evie and a grinning Mal in the Jeep. Uma then felt a scratching at her leg, and she bent down to pick up her--- yes, _her_ puppy.

“Hey, baby girl,” Uma greeted, holding the puppy in her arms as it licked her face happily. Uma stroked her head and Audrey reached up, petting it with Uma. Uma offered Audrey a truly touched smile as she nodded to her. Audrey returned it sweetly.

George cleared his throat, nodding as he looked at them and steeled his jaw in an attempt to control himself. Uma grinned at him widely and she offered him a tip of her hat in true western fashion. He returned the gesture, and Uma could have sworn that his eyes looked a little glassier than usual.

“You ready to come home?” Uma asked the pup softly, rediverting her attentions to the little fluffball that was demanding it.

It just yipped at her before nibbling at her nose, and Uma felt her heart swell with happiness as she turned toward the Jeep, following Audrey into it as she got in her seat placing _her_ puppy on her lap as she held it carefully, the white bundle sitting on her and looking out the window elegantly.

Evie put Charlene into drive, and everyone started to wave at George and Anne as they turned to leave out the driveway. Everyone was hanging out of their nearest windows as they waved and yelled goodbyes while Evie headed down the drive.

Evie turned onto the dirt road, and before long, they were on their way toward the highway.

They went down the road in peaceful quiet, Mal and Jane looking out of their windows. Audrey was busy playing on her phone, and Uma was playing with the puppy in her lap. Ultimately, all was relaxed.

That is, until Uma’s puppy started to cough a bit. Uma immediately furrowed her brow in concern. Audrey raised an eyebrow as she looked at the puppy as its coughing continuing.

“What is it, hon?” Uma questioned. However, she quickly got her answer as the puppy puked over her knees and in the floorboard.

“Holy crap!” Uma cried in shock, totally not expecting it to spew like a waterfall. Audrey jumped, putting her feet over into Jane’s floorboard.

“It almost got on my shoes!!!” Audrey screeched, and Mal leaned over the console, trying to see what had happened. Jane was wide-eyed and Evie was completely confused.

“What happened?! Uma?! What happened?!” Evie demanded, and Uma grimaced as she realized the puppy was going once again.

“Oh, boy, y’all, round two!” Uma announced, and Evie got even more concerned as Mal returned to her place in her seat with a disgusted expression.

“What is going on in my backseat?!” Evie questioned, and Uma finally answered her.

“Squirt’s blowing chunks all over your floorboard!” Uma cried, and Evie’s eyes went wide as she attempted to direct her attention both to the road and to the pirate in the back.

“Heckfire, round three, here we go!” Uma cried, rubbing the puppy’s back as she attempted to soothe its suffering while it puked.

“Uma! Don’t just let it puke all over the place! Hang it out the window or something!” Evie cried, and Mal laughed at the very idea of a white fluffball hanging out of Evie’s window while she was driving down the road.

“What the heck?! We can’t do that!” Uma replied, and Evie shook her head firmly.

“This is why I didn’t need a dog! Hang it out the window, Uma, it’s ruining my interior!!!” Evie screeched and Uma shook her head as she was totally at a loss as to what to do.

“We’re getting a barf bag! As soon as I see a service station!” Evie announced, and Mal just grinned as she reached over and squeezed Evie’s shoulder firmly. She looked at the people in the back seat sympathetically, shrugging as they went down the road.

When Evie finally looked over at her, Mal offered a smile to the other girl. Evie sighed deeply before returning it softly. Evie took her right hand off of the steering wheel, offering it to Mal, and they laced their hands together tightly.

Carsick puppies and everything, they were going home. And there was no one else Evie and Mal would rather be with on the trip.


	20. Revenge is a Dish Best Served Cold

“Hey, there, boys,” Mal spoke as she walked into Ben’s study where she knew that the boys were most likely all hidden. Sure enough, they were all lounged on the couches, and they tensed up at the sight of the girls that had just entered.

Evie was just behind Mal, and she eyed them all with a calm sweetness. Uma and Audrey then came in, their eyes conveying only the kindest of emotion as they looked at their respective boys.

Jane came in after Audrey and Uma, offering Carlos a huge smile. Carlos felt something between guilt and relief, but he definitely knew to be on his guard.

“Hello, dear,” Ben greeted, mustering a small grin despite the fact that his demise was about to come upon him. Gil had told them all what had happened the previous night when he accidentally spilled what the boys were doing.

“Hello, Benny-Boo,” Mal replied, and Ben almost felt his heart drop to his feet as he gazed upon his wife with fearful uncertainty. She never, _ever_ called him that, and to be quite honest, he was terrified of what it meant.

Harry was somewhat afraid of what was about to happen to him, but Jay wasn’t afraid in the least, despite the fact that he definitely should have been.

“So did you guys have a nice trip?” Jay questioned with a chuckle, and the other boys looked at him as if he had lost his mind. Even Harry was a little hesitant to be so laissez-faire about this situation.

“Yeah. We’d love to do it again, actually,” Mal replied with a huge grin and the other girls followed along, showing smiles of happiness and gratitude. The boys were on pins and needles. They knew that the girls had to be absolutely livid if they were being this calm and sweet about everything.

“You wouldn’t believe all the fun we had!” Evie gushed with an enormous grin, and Jay and Carlos looked at one another, completely bumfuzzled by Evie’s overwhelming happiness.

“So many great experiences we had,” Mal added. “E caught a huge fish when we went out to the lake, and me and Jane helped her.”

“But that was only the second day. On our first day, we were having the time of our lives. Jane got to ride a sheep, which was totally awesome,” Uma informed them with a proud smile. “I was chasing her, but she had it mostly under control.”

Carlos just stared at Jane, disbelieving that she had actually had fun on the sheep. She was not usually into things like that. But judging by the look on her face, she was fully satisfied with what she had done and even a bit proud of herself.

“Yeah. That was definitely a heck of a time, wasn’t it? But it didn’t count at all in comparison to when we rode horses,” Mal told her, and Uma’s eyes immediately lit up.

“You are so right! The horses were my favorite part. Oh, gosh, I loved those horses. I so want one now. I was a little scared at first, but after I got on, it was definitely the best thing I’ve ever done. We got to ride all morning on them, out looking for baby cows,” Uma recounted, and Harry and Gil just gaped at her. They didn’t know in what world that Uma wasn’t afraid of horses, but this was honestly quite disconcerting.

“And I got to help birth a calf!” Mal exclaimed excitedly, and Ben furrowed his brow, knowing Mal didn’t like disgusting things that involved birthing. But here she was, seeming like it was great and grand. “It was so amazing to truly see the miracle of life right in front of you.”

“Most certainly,” Uma agreed, and Evie stepped forward, raising an eyebrow at Mal.

“And don’t forget about the bar we went to, M,” Evie pointed out with a mile, and Carlos’s jaw dropped in pure surprise.

“Oh, yeah, we went to the bar and had a positively lively time there. Evie had the greatest time of all of us,” Mal explained, and the boys were totally blown away by the fact that the girls had actually went to a bar. None of them would go to a bar, but especially not Evie.

“The farm was so cool,” Jane praised.

“And I got to see some pigs. They were much cuter in real life than on documentaries,” Evie announced proudly, and Uma laughed, propping an arm on Evie’s shoulder as she nodded.

“The pigs were such sweet babies. But there were also so many other absolutely adorable animals on the farm,” Audrey expressed, sharing a glance with Jane as Jane nodded emphatically.

“Especially the goose. The goose was my favorite,” Evie told Audrey, and Audrey agreed wholeheartedly.

“I loved the chickens, honestly. They were so cute, and when they ran, it was hilarious,” Audrey told the boys, and Ben as well as Jay were totally shocked at the fact that Audrey, someone they both knew very well for different reasons, was actually fond of the birds. They had specifically picked out that task for her just so she’d run into her overwhelming fear of birds.

“What about when I saw you guys fighting the other night when Mal called me?” Ben asked, trying desperately to get something out of this besides a week of fun without the boys. After all, the five boys had spent their days completely bored and moping around hopelessly.

“Oh, we had just got into it because Audrey went a little overboard as usual,” Uma replied smoothly, and Audrey nodded, not disputing her in the least.

“Well… What about Evie’s foot?” Carlos suggested, pointing at Evie, and the bluenette looked at him with one of those giant Evie grins.

“It wasn’t really a big deal after I got some pain medication. Outside of that, I had the best time of my whole life.”

“Hey, Evie, you haven’t told them about the donkey,” Uma acknowledged with a laugh as if it were some big inside joke, and Evie’s eyes lit up in excitement as she started to recount her experiences with that.

“I got to ride a donkey! Which was awesome. It got away from the neighbor’s house across the road, and we had to bring it back,” Evie explained, and Harry looked at Uma, trying to see if there were any signs of apprehension in her form, but she was a wall of stoicism, and was in fact seemingly pleased with the whole thing.

Which made Harry feel more than a bit unhappy and uncomfortable. He wasn’t sure if he liked that the girls had so much fun without the boys.

“Speaking of the neighbors, I think you need to tell ‘em all about those cute, sweet boys we met that lived over there,” Uma told Evie, and Evie’s face lit up in a smile as she started to talk about the guys.

All five of the boys were suddenly at attention when Uma spoke that one particular phrase. Jay’s eyes narrowed as he looked at his girlfriend who had gotten an even larger smile on her face as soon as Uma brought up the boys. Ben wasn’t jealous really, because he knew that Mal wasn’t interested in any guys except him and had never shown any interest in any other guys besides him, but he felt an undeniable little twinge when he heard Uma say it. Harry was taking it more like Jay was, and he looked as if he might go over and kiss Uma to try to take her mind off of any other guys. Carlos looked concerned and a little peeved as he watched the girls.

“After we milked cows on our fifth day, George and Anne wanted us to go have a little bit of fun, and they said to go down to the stream that crosses the road,” Evie started, and Audrey picked up where the bluenette left off.

“And that’s where just the kindest, most gentlemanly boys happened to stumble upon us when we were stepping into the creek,” Audrey told them almost whimsically as she sighed contentedly.

“We ended up going over to their house and eating on our last night there,” Uma informed the boys, and Jay and Harry looked even more ready to go and grab their girls. Carlos and Ben were bumfuzzled, and Gil was pleasantly oblivious as usual.

“They were so nice to us,” Jane spoke, and Mal nodded to her.

“They said we could come back anytime. And honestly, given how much fun we had, we’ll probably be heading out to the country again soon,” Mal expressed, and all of the girls wholeheartedly agreed.

Jay and Harry were eyeing their girls, trying desperately to think of something to say. Carlos and Ben were looking at each other and looking back at their significant others.

“It was the best trip ever, and we are so thankful that you guys sent us there,” Audrey thanked, and Jay furrowed his brow as he watched her.

“Otherwise, we wouldn’t have met our sweet new friends,” Uma spoke, and Harry almost stood up just at the implication of those boys getting their hands on his girl.

“So what did you guys do while we were gone? I’m sure you had lots of fun,” Evie so sweetly and innocently asked them, and the boys were put on the spot as they tried to figure out how to reply.

“We had a ton of fun,” Carlos spoke up, trying his best to look convincing, and Harry, Jay, and Ben nodded their heads.

“We did a lot of stuff,” Ben confidently spoke with a big grin as he tried to cover up the fact that he was lying.

“We went to the Waffle Hut, out hiking, and a lot of other places,” Jay told them, and the other boys except Gil agreed.

Suddenly, Gil picked that moment to put in his opinions and feelings on the subjects, and it was quite honestly and terribly the most inopportune moment that Gil could have chosen.

“No, we didn’t! Harry, you remember how you were? You were all sad and mopey because Uma wasn’t here. And, Jay, you wouldn’t even exercise with me because you were so upset that Audrey and your sisters weren’t here. Carlos, you didn’t even walk Dude for your usual hour. Ben, you were so sad, and you didn’t get any work done,” Gil explained, officially exposing all of the males in the room for what they really were--- pathetic, sad little boys. The other boys looked at Gil slowly, seriously thinking of strangling him for telling all of those things.

“Well, that’s very interesting, boys,” Mal acknowledged and she looked at the rest of her girl group as they smiled widely. The five of them nodded to the boys and started out the door. However, before they got all the way out, they paused in the doorway.

“Oh, and, guys?” Mal spoke, and the five boys looked at them.

“We win. And you guys can start packing your bags, because in a few weeks, you guys are going to go camping for five days in the middle of nowhere in the forest without any power sources,” Mal informed them, and the girls headed out the door, shutting it behind them.

It was then that the boys realized that their plan had backfired on them entirely.

“Well, I guess they could’ve picked worse,” Carlos spoke finally after the boys were quiet for the longest time, just reveling in the fact that the girls had successfully kicked their butts without a single bit of yelling, snarky comebacks, or physicality.

“How?”

“At least we don’t have to go and shovel at a landfill and live the life of a garbage pail kids."


	21. Epilogue

It was about a week later, and the girls had finally decided that they’d talk to the boys again after their immense apologizing and attempting to get on the girls’ good side.

At this moment, everyone was lounged in Ben’s study where the entire mess had started in the first place. Uma was leaned against Harry, her head on his chest and her legs curled under her with her puppy in her lap as Gil sat on the other side of the couch. Audrey and Jay were snuggled close together, and Jane and Carlos were on the opposing side of that same sofa.

They were all sitting there, trying to decide what to call Uma’s new puppy.

“I say we call the lil’ runt Hooky,” Harry announced, and Uma rolled her eyes, seeing that the puppy didn’t seem to really care for the name as it settled for gnawing playfully on Uma’s fingers.

“Yeah, that’s definitely not a keeper. And definitely not original either,” Uma shot the idea down with a huff.

“What about Shrimpy?” Mal suggested, and Uma shot a glare in Mal’s direction. The faerie just shrugged with a smirk, and Uma groaned.

“That’s not even funny,” Uma informed her shortly, pointing at the faerie in a scold, and Mal just stuck her tongue out at Uma before leaning her head on Evie’s shoulder.

“What about… Fluffy?” Audrey suggested from her position against Jay with her hand on his neck as she rubbed it gently, and Uma shook her head.

“That’s kind of obvious,” Uma replied, and Evie sighed in thought as she played with Mal’s fingers in her grasp. Mal’s other hand was on Ben’s leg, tracing circles on his knee as he rested an arm on the couch behind his wife.

“What about Bailey?” Evie questioned, and Uma raised an eyebrow as she stared at the bluenette.

“Where did you even come up with that one?” Uma asked as she stroked the Pyrenees’s head. Evie just shrugged in response.

“I was trying for something that would be unique. Besides, I’d probably name my puppy that,” Evie answered, and Uma looked down at the puppy, trying out the name. She never even looked up at the pirate, and Uma shook her head, deciding that they weren’t calling her that.

“What are you waiting for? Her to tell you what she’d like to be called?” Mal asked sarcastically, and Uma just lowered her eyelids as a sign of her unimpressed emotions.

“Ha, ha, ha.”

“Princess?” Ben offered, smiling a bit as he looked at Uma. Uma scoffed as she looked at the puppy.

“Princess. Good grief, she’s a big, tough girl, not a giant pansy,” Uma told him, and Audrey’s gaze snapped over to Uma’s offendedly.

“Princesses are not giant pansies. They are poised, graceful, and elegant.”

“Keep telling yourself that, princess,” Uma grinned evilly, and Audrey narrowed her eyes as she looked at the pirate.

“Hey, I’ve got an idea! What about Booty? Like a pirate,” Gil suggested with a chuckle, and everyone looked at him as if he had lost his mind entirely.

“Yeah, and like a butt,” Jay replied, and Gil’s eyes widened with the realization.

“I totally never thought of that!” Gil cried, and Harry and Uma shared a glance of hopeless resignation. They had learned a long time ago that Gil wasn’t the brightest crayon in the box.

“I like the pirate-type names, though,” Uma commented, and Gil puffed up proudly at the praise.

“Moana? It means water. But it’s also Masina’s mom,” Carlos acknowledged with a slight wince. Uma pursed her lips in thought as she looked at the puppy carefully.

“Aquarius?” Evie offered, and Uma tried it, really liking the name and hoping the puppy would, too. However, she never even showed the slightest of interest in it as she latched her teeth onto Uma’s shirt and pulled on it.

“Why an astrological sign, E?” Mal questioned, and Evie smiled at her best friend as she exhibited those pretty, white teeth in a smile.

“I don’t know. Aquarius is the water-bearer, so I thought it was kind of like a pirate name,” Evie explained, and Mal nodded, agreeing that it was kind of in lines of what Uma was supposedly looking for.

“Cancer would work, too. ‘Tis a crab,” Harry pointed out, waving his hook a bit as he spoke. Uma raised an eyebrow.

“Or a sickness,” Uma told him, and Harry rolled his eyes with a shrug.

“I s’pose if ye looked at it that way,” Harry offered her a grin before swooping down swiftly and kissing her neck just underneath her ear. Uma waved him off, and instead looked at her puppy with quiet determination as she tried to decipher what to call her pup.

“Oh, I’ve got it! Sapphire? Because it’s blue like water?” Jane asked with a small smile, and Uma furrowed her brow as she went over names of stones in her head.

“Stones, guys. Give me some stone names,” Uma snapped her fingers, and everyone changed their thought process.

“Garnet?” Mal questioned, and Uma set her jaw a bit as she considered it.

“Amethyst?” Audrey offered, and Uma nodded noncommittally.

“Diamond?” Evie suggested.

“That’s pretty,” Audrey commented, and Evie offered her a grateful smile.

“Opal? Ew, that sounded like an old lady,” Carlos shook his head, negating his own idea.

They were quiet for a few moments, all of them thinking as they tried to figure out a good, suitable name for the dog. After a few moments, she thought of a brilliant name that seemed to hit her like a ton of bricks.

“Jade,” Uma spoke, and the puppy stopped everything it was doing as it looked up at her. Uma’s face cracked into a smile as she looked at her pup.

“Jade?” In response, the puppy tilted her head.

“Jade?” Uma tried once more and the puppy jumped forward, licking Uma’s nose as she wagged her tail happily.

“Alright, then. Jade,” Uma spoke, and Jade excitedly wagged as she gazed at her owner. Uma grinned widely as she ruffled Jade’s fur playfully.

They sat there together in comfortable silence for a little while as they all enjoyed one another’s company, glad that they had taken care of Uma’s naming predicament. And as they sat there with the boys, the girls were also very glad that they had left the farm and were back in the relaxing atmosphere of their own home.

“Your majesty, you have visitors,” a servant suddenly spoke at the door, and Mal looked up curiously as she raised her head up from Evie’s shoulder.

Mal furrowed her brow as she looked between Ben and Evie, trying to figure out who could possibly have come to visit them. Mal knew that it had to have been someone that they didn’t know personally. After all, if it would have been Dizzy, Celia, or Hades, then they would have just walked right in without a formal announcement.

“Please. Let them in,” Ben kindly commanded with a smile, willing to take in any guests that would request his company, and everyone in the room turned curiously to see who would be entering the door.

To the girls’ utter shock and horror, there were four boys walking through the doorway with nice suits on and big bouquets of flowers in their hands as they shuffled in. One had striking blue eyes, one with dark hair, another with sandy hair, and another with mocha brown eyes similar to Evie’s.

The girls’ jaws dropped as they were all gazing upon no others than Bobby Ray, Beau, Junior, and Hank standing there before them.

Jay narrowed his eyes, Harry brought up his hook carefully, Carlos clung to Jane’s hand a bit tighter, and Evie grabbed ahold of Mal and Ben carefully, the two nearest people to her.

Well… the girls hadn’t completely left the lasting effects of the farm…


End file.
